If your child plays sports in college when did it become clear she/he/they had a chance to make it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why does it matter?

If your kid excels at a sport by age XX, that doesn't mean they will continue to - so much can happen in terms of relative growth, change of interests, injury at all ages.

Let your kids play the sports they want as long as they want. If there is true talent and commitment, you don't need to invest in a club or AAU - just have them excel on their school teams. You can certainly enjoy watching them play and give them extra opportunities if you can afford to and if they really want more playing time.

But, I would never set up an expectation that they will become a recruited athlete. Too many uncontrollable variables.

While I think a lot of this is true, I approached this question as just an interesting conversation. Maybe an opportunity to shed some light on some of the points you bring up. My HS junior daughter just accepted an offer. We literally never expected any athletic money until this fall when she was offered official visits at Power 5 schools. The money is a bonus, I would say a year ago we didn't know what level was realistic, just that she had a desire to continue her sport in college. But, as you point out, you never know. The talent was there, but interest, life, injuries... anything can happen.

The school team landscape of today really depends on the sport and coaching. My kids did multiple sports for a long time and their primary sport is absolutely a club sport, that's the only real system. I believe quality coaching and positive culture are major contributors to the fact that they are still loving a sport they have done for most of their lives.

For those questioning why someone would want their kids to do college athletics, as of today, my daughter sees her sport as an important component of her college experience. It will be her sorority, there will be mentors, there are goals she wants to achieve. She has the rest of her life to do something else, I support this college experience as long she is happy and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Boy D1 soccer. Was clear that was his likely path by age 12, 7th grade.

The problem is 99% of parents with 12-year old boy travel players on top teams at that she think they same. It rarely pans out.

We did not find this to be the case, but we were on a high-level team where virtually every kid had one or more very knowledgeable soccer parents (DH in my case), and the families who didn’t sought out advice from those who did. If you polled all the knowledgeable parents on the team about which kids at 12 had college potential if they kept their grades up, the results would have been at least 75% accurate. I agree that a parent who does not know the game is not going to be able to make that prediction, and kids can go in a variety of directions depending on personalities and circumstances.

Like Hampden Sydney, Christopher Newport, Randolph Macon, Mount St. Mary's to play? I have seen pretty much zero boys going to UNC, Stanford, Duke, UCLA, UVA, etc. from this area. I have been watching the commits at my kid's big Club (considered one of the best in the DMV) since 2010 and the neighboring MLSNxt Club's commits. There were a few that went over to DC United academy, but not many top colleges/programs. The girls were different, of course.

I have seen so many parents who told me their kid had 'pro potential' or would play D1 when these boys were little. Most had dropped the Club after Junior year of HS when it was apparent that wasn't panning out. I saw some families drive 1,000s upon 1,000s of miles and fly too and dump so much time and effort and to come up short. I am one of the parents you talk about-pro in the family and several D1 players (who I'm not sure would be D1 with the huge landscape and number of foreign players taking college spots today).

Where was your Club? I'd be very interested to know.

^ should be required reading for people with boys in travel soccer.

+1 I don't think people realize how different things are for girls and boys. On the boys side, maybe a player a year from this area goes to a high level college team. On the girls side plenty go every year and a girl getting minutes on a good ECNL or GA team can play at least DIII if they choose to do so

Same can be said for men’s tennis except it’s even harder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy D1 soccer. Was clear that was his likely path by age 12, 7th grade.

The problem is 99% of parents with 12-year old boy travel players on top teams at that she think they same. It rarely pans out.

I think parents have a pretty good idea of whether their kid can cut it and play in college, based on talent and willingness to put in the work. When it doesn't pan out, it's not because the kid lacked talent or that the parent's assessment was wrong, it's that the kid no longer wants to put in the work (maybe wanted to to focus on a diff sport, academics, social life, etc.). Sure, there are some parents who will force it but I think that's less common that what it seems like on the DCUM forums. I have middle school kids who are good enough to play in college if they stick with it. But I will heavily discourage them from playing in college. College is for academics, not sports. I'd rather they work in college (like their parents did) then put their bodies through that grind. Unless playing the sport in college is a prerequisite to be able to turn professional, I just don't see the point.

What will you do if your kids love the sport and want to see how far they can go with it? Not like getting a scholarship or going pro, but just seeing what they can achieve. An athlete with that internal drive isn't just going to want to quit because their parents think it's not worth it. Playing and being good at the sport may be a huge part of their identity and give them a lot of confidence and self-efficacy, which carries over to other areas of life. Maybe it's hard to understand if you don't have the drive. I did and I would have hated my parents if they had told me I couldn't continue competing in college. I knew academics came first and I graduated with a near perfect GPA, with scholar-athlete recognition at my university and at the conference level. My best athletic years were during college and I know that I am still reaping the physical benefits of having continued into young adulthood. Yes there is some wear and tear on my body but I learned so many important lessons about hard work, persistence, and delayed gratification that I now carry into my parenting and work life.

Well said, love this!

I did my sport in college, my daughter will do hers at a much higher level. Academics are not her favorite thing, and I will say I believe having another structured component to college life will be a benefit. It is one of the big factors making her excited for college, and I think that identity will really help her transition.

[Anonymous]

Child is a swimmer, many of the fastest of whom get recruited at the end of Sophomore year, so that is when you really know.

I remember my child’s age group coach saying that they can never tell- the kids they thought were total winners at 9/10 or 11/12 didn’t end up as much, and there were kids who were slower at those ages that got recruited in HS.

I think the Katie Ledeckys and Michael Phelps of the world are really the exception and for the most part you have to wait until HS (and boys start getting really fast after HS)

[Anonymous]

Truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I got offered a full scholarship at college in a sport I never played[/b]. It is not hard.

My case I turned it down. I had full financial aid so scholarship was worthless.

I transferred sophomore year and I was six foot two inch 200 pounds in shape and did run cross country in HS.

Lacrosse wanted me as a tackling dummy on B team in practice to play defense. Screw that. My buddy got serious injured with that type of scholarship and it got canceled when he got hurt

Yes lacrosse is a joke we know

Um - things that didn't happen for $200??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy D1 soccer. Was clear that was his likely path by age 12, 7th grade.

The problem is 99% of parents with 12-year old boy travel players on top teams at that she think they same. It rarely pans out.

I think parents have a pretty good idea of whether their kid can cut it and play in college, based on talent and willingness to put in the work. When it doesn't pan out, it's not because the kid lacked talent or that the parent's assessment was wrong, it's that the kid no longer wants to put in the work (maybe wanted to to focus on a diff sport, academics, social life, etc.). Sure, there are some parents who will force it but I think that's less common that what it seems like on the DCUM forums. I have middle school kids who are good enough to play in college if they stick with it. But I will heavily discourage them from playing in college. College is for academics, not sports. I'd rather they work in college (like their parents did) then put their bodies through that grind. Unless playing the sport in college is a prerequisite to be able to turn professional, I just don't see the point.

What will you do if your kids love the sport and want to see how far they can go with it? Not like getting a scholarship or going pro, but just seeing what they can achieve. An athlete with that internal drive isn't just going to want to quit because their parents think it's not worth it. Playing and being good at the sport may be a huge part of their identity and give them a lot of confidence and self-efficacy, which carries over to other areas of life. Maybe it's hard to understand if you don't have the drive. I did and I would have hated my parents if they had told me I couldn't continue competing in college. I knew academics came first and I graduated with a near perfect GPA, with scholar-athlete recognition at my university and at the conference level. My best athletic years were during college and I know that I am still reaping the physical benefits of having continued into young adulthood. Yes there is some wear and tear on my body but I learned so many important lessons about hard work, persistence, and delayed gratification that I now carry into my parenting and work life.

Well said, love this!

I did my sport in college, my daughter will do hers at a much higher level. Academics are not her favorite thing, and I will say I believe having another structured component to college life will be a benefit. It is one of the big factors making her excited for college, and I think that identity will really help her transition.

This is so, so kid-dependent. I have two that play competitive sports and zero thoughts or cares about whether they play in college. But one of them definitely has the drive if that's what happens (the other most definitely does not, and that's fine). College athletics is a LOT, but some people thrive on that kind of structure and challenge. If so, more power to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy D1 soccer. Was clear that was his likely path by age 12, 7th grade.

The problem is 99% of parents with 12-year old boy travel players on top teams at that she think they same. It rarely pans out.

I think parents have a pretty good idea of whether their kid can cut it and play in college, based on talent and willingness to put in the work. When it doesn't pan out, it's not because the kid lacked talent or that the parent's assessment was wrong, it's that the kid no longer wants to put in the work (maybe wanted to to focus on a diff sport, academics, social life, etc.). Sure, there are some parents who will force it but I think that's less common that what it seems like on the DCUM forums. I have middle school kids who are good enough to play in college if they stick with it. But I will heavily discourage them from playing in college. College is for academics, not sports. I'd rather they work in college (like their parents did) then put their bodies through that grind. Unless playing the sport in college is a prerequisite to be able to turn professional, I just don't see the point.

What will you do if your kids love the sport and want to see how far they can go with it? Not like getting a scholarship or going pro, but just seeing what they can achieve. An athlete with that internal drive isn't just going to want to quit because their parents think it's not worth it. Playing and being good at the sport may be a huge part of their identity and give them a lot of confidence and self-efficacy, which carries over to other areas of life. Maybe it's hard to understand if you don't have the drive. I did and I would have hated my parents if they had told me I couldn't continue competing in college. I knew academics came first and I graduated with a near perfect GPA, with scholar-athlete recognition at my university and at the conference level. My best athletic years were during college and I know that I am still reaping the physical benefits of having continued into young adulthood. Yes there is some wear and tear on my body but I learned so many important lessons about hard work, persistence, and delayed gratification that I now carry into my parenting and work life.

Well said, love this!

I did my sport in college, my daughter will do hers at a much higher level. Academics are not her favorite thing, and I will say I believe having another structured component to college life will be a benefit. It is one of the big factors making her excited for college, and I think that identity will really help her transition.

This is so, so kid-dependent. I have two that play competitive sports and zero thoughts or cares about whether they play in college. But one of them definitely has the drive if that's what happens (the other most definitely does not, and that's fine). College athletics is a LOT, but some people thrive on that kind of structure and challenge. If so, more power to them.

You have no clue until you experience yourself

[Anonymous]

It is very sport-dependent. Girls are identified earlier than boys, generally. But it varies significantly by the sport.

Also, there is a matter of likelihood in general. A boy soccer player is markedly less likely to play in college than a girl hockey player, simply by numbers alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: "Academics, sport, social life" pick 2, you can't have all 3" and that is the most accurate statement I have ever heard about college sports at most levels.

Yeah, but if I said this to my high school son, he’d say “Bruh! Doors 1 and 3, obviously!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy D1 soccer. Was clear that was his likely path by age 12, 7th grade.

The problem is 99% of parents with 12-year old boy travel players on top teams at that she think they same. It rarely pans out.

We did not find this to be the case, but we were on a high-level team where virtually every kid had one or more very knowledgeable soccer parents (DH in my case), and the families who didn’t sought out advice from those who did. If you polled all the knowledgeable parents on the team about which kids at 12 had college potential if they kept their grades up, the results would have been at least 75% accurate. I agree that a parent who does not know the game is not going to be able to make that prediction, and kids can go in a variety of directions depending on personalities and circumstances.

NP. FWIW as a parent of a college soccer athlete, this wasn’t my experience at all. If you’d lined up the 12-year-olds on my DS’s team back then (playing at the highest possible level of play), you would not have been likely to correctly identify the kids who eventually played in college. We are in California where there is a very deep pool of soccer players, so maybe that’s the difference.

Agree. Previous person talking out their ass

So wrong. The other two posters are spot on.

I’m the PP from California who said that if had you lined up the 12-year-olds on my son’s top-level team (and the teams beneath his), you could not have correctly identified the college players. I think that is the truth for soccer, at least for California where there is a very deep pool of players. BUT I also agree with the person who started her post talking about Hampstead. That person is exactly correct about just how few men’s college players come out of MLSNext and ECNL. There are almost none at the D1 level. A few more do go to very good D3 schools, but they get in on academics first and then soccer.

And the numbers will decline further because of the transfer portal change. Kids who made it onto D1 teams as HS seniors prior to 2021 probably wouldn’t make it on now, and they might never even see the field in all their years because the spot they thought they had back in 2020 is now going to a junior transfer. Meanwhile, the top D1 soccer teams spend the majority of their time recruiting internationally. They get the kids who didn’t quite make it at, say, Ajax and at 22 want to come to the US to get an education and extend their soccer career.

I think anyone who says they can identify the college player at 12 is pretty delusional, with the exception of spotting the kids who are good enough at 12 that they won’t even go to college but will go straight to Europe or the MLS. Those kids are few and far between. Anyone in soccer who talks about how their 12-year-old will play D1 is almost certainly fooling themselves.

Just to put some color on this: this year for men’s U19, both NorCal and SoCal ECNL leagues are generally recognized as having, on average, the better teams in California. They regularly beat MLSNext teams both in and out of California, though not the best MLSNext teams. And yet, out of ALL teams in ECNL in California (which has some of the highest quality soccer in the US), there will probably be about 20-30 kids total who commit to a D1 program as freshmen.

I think there are so few D1 players coming out of MLSNext and ECNL because a lot of kids don't play in these leagues to position themselves to play in college. They want to go pro. When they realize they won't be able too, probably because they don't believe they will be able to overcome or compete with the natural athleticism and talent that some kids are born with or just can't imagine putting in more work then they already do or realize that playing pro would even be harder, they quit. Those who continue to play are gunning for a scholarship or trying to get into a better school than their grades would otherwise allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: "Academics, sport, social life" pick 2, you can't have all 3" and that is the most accurate statement I have ever heard about college sports at most levels.

Yeah, but if I said this to my high school son, he’d say “Bruh! Doors 1 and 3, obviously!”

He'd probably be correct. I went to a D1 school that had frats that were largely centered around teams. In season, there weren't parties, but out of season they didn't hold back at all. The guys I knew are all doing well too, so academics didn't fall off enough to matter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child is a swimmer, many of the fastest of whom get recruited at the end of Sophomore year, so that is when you really know.

I remember my child’s age group coach saying that they can never tell- the kids they thought were total winners at 9/10 or 11/12 didn’t end up as much, and there were kids who were slower at those ages that got recruited in HS.

I think the Katie Ledeckys and Michael Phelps of the world are really the exception and for the most part you have to wait until HS (and boys start getting really fast after HS)

As a board member at a big club, your coach is blowing smoke. The coaches almost always have a good idea which kids will eventually be recruited by 11/12. And swimmers who are mediocre at those ages but suddenly become very fast are very, very few and far between. It’s not just times at the young ages, it’s watching them in the water. Work ethic is part of it too. The coaches talk and are almost always right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child is a swimmer, many of the fastest of whom get recruited at the end of Sophomore year, so that is when you really know.

I remember my child’s age group coach saying that they can never tell- the kids they thought were total winners at 9/10 or 11/12 didn’t end up as much, and there were kids who were slower at those ages that got recruited in HS.

I think the Katie Ledeckys and Michael Phelps of the world are really the exception and for the most part you have to wait until HS (and boys start getting really fast after HS)

As a board member at a big club, your coach is blowing smoke. The coaches almost always have a good idea which kids will eventually be recruited by 11/12. And swimmers who are mediocre at those ages but suddenly become very fast are very, very few and far between. It’s not just times at the young ages, it’s watching them in the water. Work ethic is part of it too. The coaches talk and are almost always right.

I think you can tell which kids have the potential and which kids just don't, but you don't know which girls will end up being 5'1 and which ones will be 5'10. Swimming is a sport where height and shoulder width are very very important and you don't know until puberty which kids will end up big and strong enough

[Anonymous]

Girl, plays an individual, not a team, sport

Of her peers, at 6 we knew who liked the sport but by 12 we knew who had talent

By 14, we knew who had survived puberty and associated injuries and rehab enough to continue

By end of sophomore year, we knew who had the drive and ambition to go all out to try to do sport in college and/or internationally and/or professionally

By mid-Junior year, we knew who hadn't sacrificed so much studying time to the sport that they still had a decent shot at meeting benchmark academic qualifications

By decision day, not all peers decided to even go to college. Of those who did, some chose not to participate D1 but rather D3 for less pressure than they had experienced growing up. We know one who gave up the sport the day after parents dropped her off at school.