Anyone truly not care where their kid goes to college? Come on in!

[Anonymous]

Having sent the oldest off to a competitive university last year with another child starting high school this year, I have gained some perspective on how to put things in perspective. Both of my kids are exceedingly different people with different outlooks, interests, goals, personalities. The second time will be very different from the first time.

I view my parenting role as helping (motivating) behind the scenes to "launch" our kids into the right college for them -- whatever that turns out ot be -- but once they are in, then it is up to them to make the most of it. You're a young adult, you take it from here, and Godspeed. My work is done.

[Anonymous]

Studies show it doesn't really matter where you go to college -- except maybe the complete tail ends.

https://time.com/54342/it-doesnt-matter-where-you-go-to-college/

Your kid is either motivated and interested in the world or not.

This is borne out in my Bethesda neighborhood where some of the most successful people I know went to no-name SLAC in the middle of nowhere. I mean really no name. Or they went to large state schools and I am not talking UM or wish. or UCLA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do care because I equate top schools with better opportunities. I know that my child wants a lifestyle that is at least the same as how they grew up (UMC) and a top school will make that more likely. Do you not care because you don’t care about those sorts of outcomes?

How do you know a top school will make that outcome more likely? Your child could go to a less prestigious school and continue their UMC existence.

It’s more likely because the kind of employers that pay really well routinely hire from top schools. While it’s certainly not impossible to achieve a UMC existence without a top school (and if that weren’t possible for my kid for whatever reason, I wouldn’t think that it couldn’t be achieved) , I don’t think anyone can reasonably argue that it’s not more likely. I understand that a top school is not dispositive of success but it’s one more thing that helps.

As a hiring manager at a well-known organization, I can say I never cared about the college they attended. I can’t be alone in this…

Many more people attend college outside the top 15. So maybe what you say works if a top 15 attendee is applying for a job where other top 15 already work? I attended a top 50 and a top 20 and would gladly hire people from whatever school if they had the right skills, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she should consider a vocational school. If you and she care so little about an academic education, why are you trying to force her into one? As for the credential alone, it’s not worth much from a ho-hum school, especially if the program and grades are also weak.

Where did I say her and I care so little about academic education? Are you inferring that just because we don’t care about the prestige of the school? And where did I say I was forcing her into college? She absolutely positively wants to go.

Why don’t you care though? I think that’s what people are curious about. Is she not going in order to secure a future for herself?

You are confusing a school's prestige (created by a magazine no less) with the great academic education students receive at hundreds of colleges in the U.S. If you are hyperfocused on one kind of job at one Wall Street firm, then maybe this is a thing for you. Otherwise, prestige only matters at your mom's cocktail party.

This is a straw man. Consistently well-ranked schools really are that good and their student selectivity proves it and their alumni reinforce it. While it is true that a quality education can be had at many schools, it is not true for every school. Though a student may achieve in spite of their poor schooling, such an improbable outcome shouldn’t be compared to that of someone who has graduated from a top school. As for the latter, most would consider them a success or an interesting and smart person regardless of their eventual material success.

A lesson straight out of Condescension 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she should consider a vocational school. If you and she care so little about an academic education, why are you trying to force her into one? As for the credential alone, it’s not worth much from a ho-hum school, especially if the program and grades are also weak.

Where did I say her and I care so little about academic education? Are you inferring that just because we don’t care about the prestige of the school? And where did I say I was forcing her into college? She absolutely positively wants to go.

Why don’t you care though? I think that’s what people are curious about. Is she not going in order to secure a future for herself?

You are confusing a school's prestige (created by a magazine no less) with the great academic education students receive at hundreds of colleges in the U.S. If you are hyperfocused on one kind of job at one Wall Street firm, then maybe this is a thing for you. Otherwise, prestige only matters at your mom's cocktail party.

This is a straw man. Consistently well-ranked schools really are that good and their student selectivity proves it and their alumni reinforce it. While it is true that a quality education can be had at many schools, it is not true for every school. Though a student may achieve in spite of their poor schooling, such an improbable outcome shouldn’t be compared to that of someone who has graduated from a top school. As for the latter, most would consider them a success or an interesting and smart person regardless of their eventual material success.

Only undisciplined and lazy fools like you would consider someone an interesting or smart person solely based on where they went to school, and on top of that, assume they will have material success eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many of us are out there. My Junior does well in school (not stellar), is artsy and a pretty good kid all around. I am letting her steer the ship in regards to college/major. I really just want her to be happy. Don’t give a crap about college rankings at all (pretty sure she doesn’t either). Anyone else?

Of course you don’t “care”… your child can’t compete for the top schools and rather than admit that your child’s capabilities limit her to a certain range of tier 3 schools, it’s easier to “claim” that you are opting out of the race but you were never in it to begin with,

Oh I’m pretty sure she couldn’t get into super top schools. Her weighted GPA right now is 4.43. She’s got a few activities and a sport, but nothing outstanding. What I’m saying is I really wouldn’t care if she opted for a super low ranked school. Even if she COULD get into a top ranked school, I wouldn’t push it because, quite honestly, the few Ivy grads I know are kind of a-holes and they bring it up as often as they can. I wouldn’t want my daughter in that kind of atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many of us are out there. My Junior does well in school (not stellar), is artsy and a pretty good kid all around. I am letting her steer the ship in regards to college/major. I really just want her to be happy. Don’t give a crap about college rankings at all (pretty sure she doesn’t either). Anyone else?

Of course you don’t “care”… your child can’t compete for the top schools and rather than admit that your child’s capabilities limit her to a certain range of tier 3 schools, it’s easier to “claim” that you are opting out of the race but you were never in it to begin with,

Oh I’m pretty sure she couldn’t get into super top schools. Her weighted GPA right now is 4.43. She’s got a few activities and a sport, but nothing outstanding. What I’m saying is I really wouldn’t care if she opted for a super low ranked school. Even if she COULD get into a top ranked school, I wouldn’t push it because, quite honestly, the few Ivy grads I know are kind of a-holes and they bring it up as often as they can. I wouldn’t want my daughter in that kind of atmosphere.

Nice deflection/troll post. Your daughter doesn’t have a 4.43. To get that gpa in FCPS, she’d have to care more about academics and be more competitive than your posts suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she should consider a vocational school. If you and she care so little about an academic education, why are you trying to force her into one? As for the credential alone, it’s not worth much from a ho-hum school, especially if the program and grades are also weak.

Where did I say her and I care so little about academic education? Are you inferring that just because we don’t care about the prestige of the school? And where did I say I was forcing her into college? She absolutely positively wants to go.

Why don’t you care though? I think that’s what people are curious about. Is she not going in order to secure a future for herself?

You are confusing a school's prestige (created by a magazine no less) with the great academic education students receive at hundreds of colleges in the U.S. If you are hyperfocused on one kind of job at one Wall Street firm, then maybe this is a thing for you. Otherwise, prestige only matters at your mom's cocktail party.

This is a straw man. Consistently well-ranked schools really are that good and their student selectivity proves it and their alumni reinforce it. While it is true that a quality education can be had at many schools, it is not true for every school. Though a student may achieve in spite of their poor schooling, such an improbable outcome shouldn’t be compared to that of someone who has graduated from a top school. As for the latter, most would consider them a success or an interesting and smart person regardless of their eventual material success.

Only undisciplined and lazy fools like you would consider someone an interesting or smart person solely based on where they went to school, and on top of that, assume they will have material success eventually.

You’re probably a salesman who spends most of their time watching sports and drinking beer. I KNOW that isn’t interesting.

[Anonymous]

I admit that I do care but I’m trying to tamp that down because I don’t think it does matter that much in terms of outcomes within a certain range of schools. Both my kids should be well within the top 100 schools and I think it probably is more about what they do with that education rather than the name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many of us are out there. My Junior does well in school (not stellar), is artsy and a pretty good kid all around. I am letting her steer the ship in regards to college/major. I really just want her to be happy. Don’t give a crap about college rankings at all (pretty sure she doesn’t either). Anyone else?

Of course you don’t “care”… your child can’t compete for the top schools and rather than admit that your child’s capabilities limit her to a certain range of tier 3 schools, it’s easier to “claim” that you are opting out of the race but you were never in it to begin with,

Oh I’m pretty sure she couldn’t get into super top schools. Her weighted GPA right now is 4.43. She’s got a few activities and a sport, but nothing outstanding. What I’m saying is I really wouldn’t care if she opted for a super low ranked school. Even if she COULD get into a top ranked school, I wouldn’t push it because, quite honestly, the few Ivy grads I know are kind of a-holes and they bring it up as often as they can. I wouldn’t want my daughter in that kind of atmosphere.

Nice deflection/troll post. Your daughter doesn’t have a 4.43. To get that gpa in FCPS, she’d have to care more about academics and be more competitive than your posts suggest.

We are in MCPS. She absolutely has a 4.43. Why can you not accept that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Studies show it doesn't really matter where you go to college -- except maybe the complete tail ends.

https://time.com/54342/it-doesnt-matter-where-you-go-to-college/

Your kid is either motivated and interested in the world or not.

This is borne out in my Bethesda neighborhood where some of the most successful people I know went to no-name SLAC in the middle of nowhere. I mean really no name. Or they went to large state schools and I am not talking UM or wish. or UCLA.

I agree with this. Wealthy, striving families around here are so invested in top 15 schools. I expect the elitism of the school matters in the most elite workplaces: like Supreme Court clerking, or a high end law firm. But for the remaining 99.9% of us, the college education is much more dependent on what you put into it. I want my child to be self-supporting, happy, and healthy. There are many, many different paths to that outcome.

There are some advantages to not pursuing the most elite college possible: you can get more merit aid at less prestigious schools. Also, you can let your child out of the Harvard-bound pressure cooker that too many kids are in.

I do realize having a degree from a prestigious school does open some doors. But it is not the do or die proposition some people make it out to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many of us are out there. My Junior does well in school (not stellar), is artsy and a pretty good kid all around. I am letting her steer the ship in regards to college/major. I really just want her to be happy. Don’t give a crap about college rankings at all (pretty sure she doesn’t either). Anyone else?

Of course you don’t “care”… your child can’t compete for the top schools and rather than admit that your child’s capabilities limit her to a certain range of tier 3 schools, it’s easier to “claim” that you are opting out of the race but you were never in it to begin with,

Oh I’m pretty sure she couldn’t get into super top schools. Her weighted GPA right now is 4.43. She’s got a few activities and a sport, but nothing outstanding. What I’m saying is I really wouldn’t care if she opted for a super low ranked school. Even if she COULD get into a top ranked school, I wouldn’t push it because, quite honestly, the few Ivy grads I know are kind of a-holes and they bring it up as often as they can. I wouldn’t want my daughter in that kind of atmosphere.

Nice deflection/troll post. Your daughter doesn’t have a 4.43. To get that gpa in FCPS, she’d have to care more about academics and be more competitive than your posts suggest.

We are in MCPS. She absolutely has a 4.43. Why can you not accept that?

Oops I just checked it again. 4.34. My bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she should consider a vocational school. If you and she care so little about an academic education, why are you trying to force her into one? As for the credential alone, it’s not worth much from a ho-hum school, especially if the program and grades are also weak.

This.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she should consider a vocational school. If you and she care so little about an academic education, why are you trying to force her into one? As for the credential alone, it’s not worth much from a ho-hum school, especially if the program and grades are also weak.

This.

+1

She’s never expressed an interest in vocational school. If she did, I would 100% support it. She wants to go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many of us are out there. My Junior does well in school (not stellar), is artsy and a pretty good kid all around. I am letting her steer the ship in regards to college/major. I really just want her to be happy. Don’t give a crap about college rankings at all (pretty sure she doesn’t either). Anyone else?

Of course you don’t “care”… your child can’t compete for the top schools and rather than admit that your child’s capabilities limit her to a certain range of tier 3 schools, it’s easier to “claim” that you are opting out of the race but you were never in it to begin with,

Oh I’m pretty sure she couldn’t get into super top schools. Her weighted GPA right now is 4.43. She’s got a few activities and a sport, but nothing outstanding. What I’m saying is I really wouldn’t care if she opted for a super low ranked school. Even if she COULD get into a top ranked school, I wouldn’t push it because, quite honestly, the few Ivy grads I know are kind of a-holes and they bring it up as often as they can. I wouldn’t want my daughter in that kind of atmosphere.

Nice deflection/troll post. Your daughter doesn’t have a 4.43. To get that gpa in FCPS, she’d have to care more about academics and be more competitive than your posts suggest.

Typical DCUM:
Come in if you don’t care where you kid goes to school!
*in comes people who care a lot where their kids go to school*
My kid has a 4.4 and I really don’t care where she goes
*you are a troll! Absolutely not possible!*

Never change, DCUM, never change!