Hosting Thanksgiving for mostly seniors, very traditional

[Anonymous]

Sorry but you should make what you and your family like to eat. Guests get to respect the traditions of the house that they're visiting. I don't think I could stand bland Thanksgiving- that truly sounds miserable. I do always try to make whatever dish my inlaws couldn't live without (it's a regional dish that they all grew up eating) and the rest is my Thanksgiving. No one eats corn on Thanksgiving! Particularly not seniors with dentures and dental bridges.

If they don't like the nicely seasoned turkey- they can eat the inside meat, with no skin. Don't like skin on mashed potatoes- don't eat them (or just get the boxed mashed potatoes and make those nasty things for them- my dad prefers the box kind).

[Anonymous]

The 90 something guests do eat corn, sometimes two ears in one sitting. I like the idea of corn off the cob with butter for easier eating… but I’m not 100% sure they will eat that.

[Anonymous]

For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 90 something guests do eat corn, sometimes two ears in one sitting. I like the idea of corn off the cob with butter for easier eating… but I’m not 100% sure they will eat that.

Honestly, if people will eat corn on the cob, but not off the cob, they’re going to go hungry no matter what you do because they’re hopelessly picky.

Yes to the potato ricer.
Wegman’s gravy is better than WF’s.
Buy frozen corn. Heat it in a pan with a little water and butter. Let it simmer until the water disappears and the corn is hot. Salt to taste. Midwesterners will likely eat it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

You are a good host. I am willing to cater somewhat to elderly family members who can't/won't eat certain things because they tend to eat so little, I'm worried about getting any food in them at all. There are things I can tweak -- a good version of white rolls rather than industrial-grade sponginess -- and things I can't, such as cranberry sauce, because if it doesn't slide out of the can as a uniform cylinder, it's not cranberry sauce to them.

If you want absolutely smooth mashed potatoes, you can mash them by hand and then whip them in a stand mixer. Or you can buy prefab, refrigerated mashed potatoes (like Bob Evans or Simply Potatoes).

Check out Serious Eats dry brine. It produces a great turkey within the Plain Turkey genre.

I assume Midwestern Tantrum poster just wanted to brag about her menu, which (A) looks delicious and (B) is not going to be appreciated by anyone who still uses their tattered Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

Tell me precisely how it is not RUDE of your husband to put this on you, instead of cooking for his parents himself? Hmm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make regular mashed potatoes without the skins. If people like mashed potatoes, they like mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes with skin does not equal adventurous eating by the way. I'd keep the kale salad and serve it along with whatever traditional items the elderly like.

Mashed potatoes with skin and pepper would be adventurous for the older in-laws.
Is cornbread or dinner rolls "safer"?
Part of the problem here is that I grew up eating non-american food (parents are immigrants) so I'm not sure what is "standard." But I know the inlaws will not want to eat anything "different."

Presumably you know how to Google, and you still can't figure out what a "standard" American Thanksgiving meal typically entails?

Honestly I don't think there is a standard. There are regional differences, for sure. Some areas will put sausage or oysters in their stuffing. Some will use cornbread instead of bread. Some will insist on calling it dressing.

Some will insist on having mac & cheese on the table.

OP here. I was actually considering mac and cheese as a side since it is a soft fairly mild food.

We get it 0P. You hate your in-laws and think you are way above them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 69 and your in-laws sound like a royal PITA. They won’t eat skin on or lumpy mashed potatoes? Too damn bad. They can’t tolerate garlic or black pepper? Those are not generally considered to be controversial ingredients. If they don’t like them, then they can eat something else. I can’t stand kale, so I just pass it by. Make them corn (of all things) if that’s what they want; that and turkey and maybe some canned cranberry sauce should fill them up. Personally, I don’t have the patience anymore to cater to everyone’s food quirks, unless they have medical reasons to back them up.

I doubt the in-laws are actually as OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

You are a good host. I am willing to cater somewhat to elderly family members who can't/won't eat certain things because they tend to eat so little, I'm worried about getting any food in them at all. There are things I can tweak -- a good version of white rolls rather than industrial-grade sponginess -- and things I can't, such as cranberry sauce, because if it doesn't slide out of the can as a uniform cylinder, it's not cranberry sauce to them.

If you want absolutely smooth mashed potatoes, you can mash them by hand and then whip them in a stand mixer. Or you can buy prefab, refrigerated mashed potatoes (like Bob Evans or Simply Potatoes).

Check out Serious Eats dry brine. It produces a great turkey within the Plain Turkey genre.

I assume Midwestern Tantrum poster just wanted to brag about her menu, which (A) looks delicious and (B) is not going to be appreciated by anyone who still uses their tattered Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.

I am not a baker. I was going to just buy dinner rolls and serve with butter. Cornbread box mix and add some fresh or canned corn to it.
I do want to offer things the 90 year olds will eat. I don't want them traveling across the country to find they can't eat anything at Thanksgiving dinner. I am not exaggerating about the black pepper and I also understand it. I had stomach issues for awhile and was eating a very restricted and very mild diet. When I tried a little pepper on my eggs I could barely eat them because they tasted like fire! Someone suggested cookies. I hadn't thought of dessert (ILs are graciously bringing dessert). Some extra cookies and treats are a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

Tell me precisely how it is not RUDE of your husband to put this on you, instead of cooking for his parents himself? Hmm?

I have invited people over to my house. DH didn't ask me to cook, I offer to host everyone. Just trying to figure out how best to do it. When I take something on, ideally everyone will be happy with at least part of the meal. I hate to think of people coming to my house and going hungry. I am juggling two different parties - one is older and needs very mild food, the other group is younger and wants every bold, aggressive or new flavor they can get. I get that there's no way to make everyone happy with everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 69 and your in-laws sound like a royal PITA. They won’t eat skin on or lumpy mashed potatoes? Too damn bad. They can’t tolerate garlic or black pepper? Those are not generally considered to be controversial ingredients. If they don’t like them, then they can eat something else. I can’t stand kale, so I just pass it by. Make them corn (of all things) if that’s what they want; that and turkey and maybe some canned cranberry sauce should fill them up. Personally, I don’t have the patience anymore to cater to everyone’s food quirks, unless they have medical reasons to back them up.

I doubt the in-laws are actually as OP describes.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 69 and your in-laws sound like a royal PITA. They won’t eat skin on or lumpy mashed potatoes? Too damn bad. They can’t tolerate garlic or black pepper? Those are not generally considered to be controversial ingredients. If they don’t like them, then they can eat something else. I can’t stand kale, so I just pass it by. Make them corn (of all things) if that’s what they want; that and turkey and maybe some canned cranberry sauce should fill them up. Personally, I don’t have the patience anymore to cater to everyone’s food quirks, unless they have medical reasons to back them up.

I doubt the in-laws are actually as OP describes.

Same.

Is this that unusual? I don't know why people would think I am lying. They are not demanding about any of it. I just know from eating with them that they won't eat any of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people suggesting I heat up a frozen dinner or just leave everyone to figure things out, I think that is crazy and rude.

Tell me precisely how it is not RUDE of your husband to put this on you, instead of cooking for his parents himself? Hmm?

I have invited people over to my house. DH didn't ask me to cook, I offer to host everyone. Just trying to figure out how best to do it. When I take something on, ideally everyone will be happy with at least part of the meal. I hate to think of people coming to my house and going hungry. I am juggling two different parties - one is older and needs very mild food, the other group is younger and wants every bold, aggressive or new flavor they can get. I get that there's no way to make everyone happy with everything.

LMAO please describe people who are seeking “bold, aggressive” flavors on Thanksgiving to the point where they would chide their hosts for providing traditional fare when 90-year-olds are present. What are they going to do, give you a bad Yelp review? Leave behind a note with a big “F-“ grade on it? Egg or TP your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regular turkey
Regular cornbread or sourdough stuffing depending on which camp you're in
Mashed potatoes (skin off, milk, butter, salt, I do sour cream)
Basic gravy
Green bean casserole or steamed French green beans (depending on what camp you're in, again)
Cranberry in a can
Rolls

Then have other things that are fun:
a fun veggie like an adventurous corn dish
a fun cranberry sauce recipe
a salad with roasted butternut squash, nuts, cheese, spicy vinaigrette, pepitas, dried cranberries

This is good advice.

But also it's ok to just do a few sides. Pick at least one very basic one (like straight white mashed potatoes) and have good plain rolls. Then you can get creative with the rest and people will be fine. It's one meal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 69 and your in-laws sound like a royal PITA. They won’t eat skin on or lumpy mashed potatoes? Too damn bad. They can’t tolerate garlic or black pepper? Those are not generally considered to be controversial ingredients. If they don’t like them, then they can eat something else. I can’t stand kale, so I just pass it by. Make them corn (of all things) if that’s what they want; that and turkey and maybe some canned cranberry sauce should fill them up. Personally, I don’t have the patience anymore to cater to everyone’s food quirks, unless they have medical reasons to back them up.

I doubt the in-laws are actually as OP describes.

Same.

Is this that unusual? I don't know why people would think I am lying. They are not demanding about any of it. I just know from eating with them that they won't eat any of that.

Yes I don’t believe that elderly people won’t be perfectly content to eat the standard turkey, stuffing, gravy, and mashed potato dinner. Even if there are some lumps in the potatoes.