Boys- finding their path...

[Anonymous]

Most highly successful people do most of their amazing work before age of 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys (particularly hetero boys) often have concerns that they earn an income significant enough to support a family, which drives them to business, computer science, data analytics, etc. I think few kids grow up and say my life's dream is pharmaceutical sales (or whatever the lucrative job may be).

I agree. That's what my son son said to me. It is tougher for boys. I could not have afford a family/home/car/vacations alone without my husband's much higher income.

wow sexist much.

Both of my "girls" make upwards of $500,000 a year. One has always made way more than her "husband".

I raised mine to take care of themselves boy or girl no different. Only different to MAGA OR ULTRA RELIGIOUS IDIOTS.

Have you read posts on the relationship forum here? Women are often resentful when they significantly out-earn their husbands. Many women want to marry someone who is at least a peer earnings-wise, if not someone who out-earns them. Few women would be happy making $500k themselves and be married to someone making $100k. Yet the reverse gender-wise is common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

Males brains are not fully developed until they are 30 versus around 24/25 for females. Add in any ADHD/ADD/Anxiety/Depression and it will be later. So yes, there will be females that also are not "on their way", they are typically a lot more males in this position

This is not true and there is no data to support this.

Let's fix it for you. The female brain develops faster. Lots of studies show this.

[Anonymous]

I tell my son who is younger that he needs to choose a job he doesn’t hate, not a career. Most people don’t find their passion or calling anyway. He can work at a job while figuring out what his calling is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have a son who is a freshman in college who is exactly as you describe. Sort of wandering towards business, but I suspect that is the default for many boys who know they don't want/ can't hack STEM majors and want to keep their options open.

Encourage your son to go to a college where they don't have to declare a major until beginning of junior year. That has been a big help to my son. Core curriculum classes are wide and varied and allowing him to discover things he didn't know existed as coursework. He is loving a philosophy class, for example, and is looking forward next semester to more logic of courses.

Even colleges which require a student to declare a major right away usually have a broad range of core liberal arts classes that are required as well. So if a student stumbles on something that interests them, they can work with their advisor to change majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys (particularly hetero boys) often have concerns that they earn an income significant enough to support a family, which drives them to business, computer science, data analytics, etc. I think few kids grow up and say my life's dream is pharmaceutical sales (or whatever the lucrative job may be).

I agree. That's what my son son said to me. It is tougher for boys. I could not have afford a family/home/car/vacations alone without my husband's much higher income.

wow sexist much.

Both of my "girls" make upwards of $500,000 a year. One has always made way more than her "husband".

I raised mine to take care of themselves boy or girl no different. Only different to MAGA OR ULTRA RELIGIOUS IDIOTS.

Have you read posts on the relationship forum here? Women are often resentful when they significantly out-earn their husbands. Many women want to marry someone who is at least a peer earnings-wise, if not someone who out-earns them. Few women would be happy making $500k themselves and be married to someone making $100k. Yet the reverse gender-wise is common.

New poster. You make a point. I do think women are becoming more successful and some are okay with being the higher income earners. But most I know still prefer to have their partners to make at least the same as them. For husbands who don't make as much, they are in jobs that their wives have to value as at least respectable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

Years of feminization in school and focus on their feelings, instead of action, which is how boys/ men are wired.

Hi! How’s the weather in 1955?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tend to agree that sharp emphasis was placed on girls in education and boys fell by the way side. Even boy scouts got hijacked. If you have anything for boys alone than you see wokeness backlash.

Oops. Your dumb is showing.

[Anonymous]

Birth order can have an affect on kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We told DS to pick something he enjoys, and focus on that as his intended major / career by 10th grade, so he could take classes / EC / internships to support it, with the caveat that if he decides once he gets to college he likes something else, he can definitely change majors. And also, after college, he can pursue different careers as well if his interests change or opportunities arise. TBH, I think it was a relief for him to "pick" something and have a focus. DH and I both had varied careers and ended up far from what we majored it.

My son had neuropsych testing in 9th grade (ADHD) and one benefit of that was it showed him clearly in black and white how strong his math aptitude was. After that he settled on being a math (or something related) major. And I agree that having picked something really helped with his focus in high school. He knew what he was working toward vs some vague idea of college. A pre- college program the next summer helped too, making on-campus life a more concrete goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like girls are better and faster picking what they want to study in College. At least that's what I've noticed from my friends' daughters.

I have a HS Junior who has not idea what to study in College. He has good grades takes Honors and a couple of APs, plays sports, etc. A regular kid. He says all his friends are talking about Business, Finance or Entrepreneur.

My husband is a Software Engineer and I work in Marketing, he takes IT, Marketing and some business electives but he doesn't seem interested enough to make it a career for himself.

What helped your college kid find their path?

When are most boys ready to pick a path?

What path did you College son picked?

Isn’t college the time of self discovery to figure these things out? Let him learn and take his time and figure out what he wants to do with his life without pressure. He is young still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy/girl has nothing to do with it.

Oh yes it does. This is applicable to boys in a way that it is not to girls.

My college roommate changed her major 3 times . It was a joke. And complete change---to things not remotely connected. She did some summer courses to be able to graduate on time.

I also find so many people don't know what they want to do at age 18...and I actually think that is more the norm than the exception.

Just a reminder that there are jobs in the future that haven't even been created. Focus on good communication, collaboration, and writing. I working in Digital communications which didn't exists when I got my degree in history

You need to follow your own advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have a son who is a freshman in college who is exactly as you describe. Sort of wandering towards business, but I suspect that is the default for many boys who know they don't want/ can't hack STEM majors and want to keep their options open.

Encourage your son to go to a college where they don't have to declare a major until beginning of junior year. That has been a big help to my son. Core curriculum classes are wide and varied and allowing him to discover things he didn't know existed as coursework. He is loving a philosophy class, for example, and is looking forward next semester to more logic of courses.

Curious what schools you looked at. My son is the same- he is kind of all over the place and I worry that a lot of the schools require direct entry for certain majors he might be considering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like girls are better and faster picking what they want to study in College. At least that's what I've noticed from my friends' daughters.

I have a HS Junior who has not idea what to study in College. He has good grades takes Honors and a couple of APs, plays sports, etc. A regular kid. He says all his friends are talking about Business, Finance or Entrepreneur.

My husband is a Software Engineer and I work in Marketing, he takes IT, Marketing and some business electives but he doesn't seem interested enough to make it a career for himself.

What helped your college kid find their path?

When are most boys ready to pick a path?

What path did you College son picked?

Isn’t college the time of self discovery to figure these things out? Let him learn and take his time and figure out what he wants to do with his life without pressure. He is young still.

You're still not answering OPs questions. Junior year of high school is when schools want you to start thinking seriously about college.

[Anonymous]

We talked about lifestyle - what kind of life do think they want- hours, office/home/traveling, managing, ease of taking time off and keeping current or able to re-find a job easily, desk vs hands on vs talking… yes I know they’re all broad categories but the goal was to have them think about a work environment, a future home life, and potential earnings to support their desired dreams etc instead of a job title or a major Then talked about different jobs could not couldn’t provide it etc. Plus types of things that interested them/ subjects, ECs and what did they have in common.