Boys- finding their path...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

Years of feminization in school and focus on their feelings, instead of action, which is how boys/ men are wired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have a son who is a freshman in college who is exactly as you describe. Sort of wandering towards business, but I suspect that is the default for many boys who know they don't want/ can't hack STEM majors and want to keep their options open.

Encourage your son to go to a college where they don't have to declare a major until beginning of junior year. That has been a big help to my son. Core curriculum classes are wide and varied and allowing him to discover things he didn't know existed as coursework. He is loving a philosophy class, for example, and is looking forward next semester to more logic of courses.

Exactly! Or pick a university where it is EASY to switch between majors. You are 100% correct that many (both boys and girls) who cannot handle STEM majors end up in business/finance. It's really logical---if they were STEM to begin with they are not likely going to want to do a Humanities major and business is a great major that gives you a variety of career paths. And yes, it is easier than engineering.
My own kid switched from a health sciences major into business/finance---it's the logical path when you want a major that will make you easily employable upon graduation and really are not a Humanities/social sciences type of person. Ironically, graduated and now in a job that is more STEM based than pure business based and loving it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

Years of feminization in school and focus on their feelings, instead of action, which is how boys/ men are wired.

And gobs of $ poured into advancing girls and their education and well-being---girls in stem, girls on the run, take your daughters to work day (until push back was so great it got changed to 'child'). Laura Bush saw the data ages ago about boys not reading and worked to create initiatives to improve literacy in that group, but never heard much about it after. Boys are more likely to drop out of school early and a lot is the feminization and initiatives that took over our school system, even the literature selected. But, from a young age--how boys learn and their ability to sit still and develop at a later rate.

Now there are a ton of women who can't find suitable marriage partners---of similar caliber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will disagree but there needs to be more emphasis on boys and finding their way. The number of men not attending college and not working is alarming.

Why is that? What happened to all of the boys? My husband claims it’s video games, but I doubt that is scientifically true (we are a gaming family, BTW, so I have no animosity toward gaming).

Males brains are not fully developed until they are 30 versus around 24/25 for females. Add in any ADHD/ADD/Anxiety/Depression and it will be later. So yes, there will be females that also are not "on their way", they are typically a lot more males in this position

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree that sharp emphasis was placed on girls in education and boys fell by the way side. Even boy scouts got hijacked. If you have anything for boys alone than you see wokeness backlash.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a mother of 2 daughters: My oldest is a junior and says she wants to major probably in chemistry. I want her to go to a school where she isn't forced to declare a major for a couple years. I want her to try lots of different class/experience new fields that she may not realize exist. I want her to use the cliche of really broadening her horizons.

College - especially the first two years - are a wonderful time for the kids to explore different subjects. Maybe one of the criteria in picking a college is choosing a college where he doesn't have to declare a major until junior year? When he can explore and see what he is interested in?

I also think I'm outdated but I read this stuff about boys falling by the wayside but I want that to stop happening solely because I want my DD to marry an equal. I don't want my dds' selection of men to be limited because they aren't her equals. It is a problem. Or will become an even bigger problem in the next decade or so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy/girl has nothing to do with it.

Oh yes it does. This is applicable to boys in a way that it is not to girls.

I disagree.

[Anonymous]

"I also think I'm outdated but I read this stuff about boys falling by the wayside but I want that to stop happening solely because I want my DD to marry an equal. I don't want my dds' selection of men to be limited because they aren't her equals. It is a problem. Or will become an even bigger problem in the next decade or so"
+1 to this!

I'm the mom of an only-child boy. Trust me that all of us feminist moms need to help push for supports for these rudderless boys so they can be worthy of this generation's daughters. I see him and his friends and can't help but be struck by how stunted they are in so many ways compared to girls their age. It didn't used to matter quite so much that female teens mature faster than boy teens. But now, with the need to declare your major before you even apply to college, and the need to have mastered certain math and science courses to even be able to get admitted to a STEM major while you're still in high school, it's a mess. We've moved forward all of these critical action points for kids, and it's way earlier than when the teen boy brain should be expected to be able to handle it. These days, if they miss that moment it's really hard to ever get on track. And can we do something about the fact that way too many boy teens are being told to go into STEM fields? There are so few opportunities for STEM kids to develop bigger picture thinking, much less critical thinking skills or valuing creativity and beauty. So, when we concentrate boys into these fields, we're making a pre-existing problem even worse.

[Anonymous]

As a prof at a place your kids want to go, I don't see this. In my experience, the 2nd and 3rd years who haven't landed on a major, or who have a major but no plan for what comes after, are 7 out of 10 times females.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys (particularly hetero boys) often have concerns that they earn an income significant enough to support a family, which drives them to business, computer science, data analytics, etc. I think few kids grow up and say my life's dream is pharmaceutical sales (or whatever the lucrative job may be).

I agree. That's what my son son said to me. It is tougher for boys. I could not have afford a family/home/car/vacations alone without my husband's much higher income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy/girl has nothing to do with it.

Oh yes it does. This is applicable to boys in a way that it is not to girls.

My college roommate changed her major 3 times . It was a joke. And complete change---to things not remotely connected. She did some summer courses to be able to graduate on time.

I also find so many people don't know what they want to do at age 18...and I actually think that is more the norm than the exception.

Just a reminder that there are jobs in the future that haven't even been created. Focus on good communication, collaboration, and writing. I working in Digital communications which didn't exists when I got my degree in history

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy/girl has nothing to do with it.

Oh yes it does. This is applicable to boys in a way that it is not to girls.

UH NO

I have six definitely enough of a sample.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys (particularly hetero boys) often have concerns that they earn an income significant enough to support a family, which drives them to business, computer science, data analytics, etc. I think few kids grow up and say my life's dream is pharmaceutical sales (or whatever the lucrative job may be).

I agree. That's what my son son said to me. It is tougher for boys. I could not have afford a family/home/car/vacations alone without my husband's much higher income.

wow sexist much.

Both of my "girls" make upwards of $500,000 a year. One has always made way more than her "husband".

I raised mine to take care of themselves boy or girl no different. Only different to MAGA OR ULTRA RELIGIOUS IDIOTS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys (particularly hetero boys) often have concerns that they earn an income significant enough to support a family, which drives them to business, computer science, data analytics, etc. I think few kids grow up and say my life's dream is pharmaceutical sales (or whatever the lucrative job may be).

I agree. That's what my son son said to me. It is tougher for boys. I could not have afford a family/home/car/vacations alone without my husband's much higher income.

wow sexist much.

Both of my "girls" make upwards of $500,000 a year. One has always made way more than her "husband".

I raised mine to take care of themselves boy or girl no different. Only different to MAGA OR ULTRA RELIGIOUS IDIOTS.

That is great. I am the original poster who mentioned nothing about daughters or girls' motivations. Only that boys often make income a primary concern and sometimes it is hard for a kid to get excited about a major they have chosen solely for earnings potential.