Help with my picky eaters!

[Anonymous]

I still am still a picky eater. For me it is texture. Of course we didn't know that when I was 4 years. Certain foods just make me gag. Smell also affected me.

Imagine thinking we are the same!

[Anonymous]

You need the S.O.S feeding approach. This may beyond something you can do alone. There are great supports for parents on the site. Kay Toomey SOS feeding. Google it.

[Anonymous]

This is OP with an update! I looked into some of the resources suggested here and realized there is a sensory component with DS4's picky eating, while the 6yo is definitely just an average picky eater who needs better structure. We've completely changed our food routine and rules and seen so much progress already!! We've ditched the dessert as a reward, started games at dinner, cracked down on excessive and unhealthy snacking, etc. Yesterday at dinner DS4 sat down at the table and pushed away his plate and began to walk away saying it was yuck. So I said that's fine, we are going to play "I spy" tho. He grudgingly sat down at the table, then started having fun with the game, then... cleared his plate! And asked for seconds! Didn't touch the broccoli but thats ok. DS 6 (who had previously refused the food) cleared his plate and tried the broccoli. Today I gave DS4 a sensory bin with cooked noodles of a type he's often been offered and never tried. He at first didn't want to engage because they were "mushy" but I got him into a game and after playing with the noddles for 10 minutes he picked up a fistful and ate a huge bite! And another! We are going to keep researching how to expose DS4 to new foods in appropriate ways. If we don't see enough progress at home we will reach out to professional help but I'm feeling very hopeful. Thank you all! I had no idea we were doing so much damage nor that DS4 had other things going on outside of his control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP with an update! I looked into some of the resources suggested here and realized there is a sensory component with DS4's picky eating, while the 6yo is definitely just an average picky eater who needs better structure. We've completely changed our food routine and rules and seen so much progress already!! We've ditched the dessert as a reward, started games at dinner, cracked down on excessive and unhealthy snacking, etc. Yesterday at dinner DS4 sat down at the table and pushed away his plate and began to walk away saying it was yuck. So I said that's fine, we are going to play "I spy" tho. He grudgingly sat down at the table, then started having fun with the game, then... cleared his plate! And asked for seconds! Didn't touch the broccoli but thats ok. DS 6 (who had previously refused the food) cleared his plate and tried the broccoli. Today I gave DS4 a sensory bin with cooked noodles of a type he's often been offered and never tried. He at first didn't want to engage because they were "mushy" but I got him into a game and after playing with the noddles for 10 minutes he picked up a fistful and ate a huge bite! And another! We are going to keep researching how to expose DS4 to new foods in appropriate ways. If we don't see enough progress at home we will reach out to professional help but I'm feeling very hopeful. Thank you all! I had no idea we were doing so much damage nor that DS4 had other things going on outside of his control.

Happy to hear that you’re making progress, OP! This stuff is hard. I know people here love Kids Eat in Color, but I prefer Solid Starts (also on Instagram). The founder has a severely picky eater and shares her own journey and ways that she helps him try new things. They also have a course you can buy about reversing picky eating. I haven’t done that one, but we did their toddler course and found it very helpful in terms of helping us understand what’s normal, what isn’t, and how to approach common challenges like food refusal. But even their Instagram posts/stories have helped me so much and have lots od good information. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP with an update! I looked into some of the resources suggested here and realized there is a sensory component with DS4's picky eating, while the 6yo is definitely just an average picky eater who needs better structure. We've completely changed our food routine and rules and seen so much progress already!! We've ditched the dessert as a reward, started games at dinner, cracked down on excessive and unhealthy snacking, etc. Yesterday at dinner DS4 sat down at the table and pushed away his plate and began to walk away saying it was yuck. So I said that's fine, we are going to play "I spy" tho. He grudgingly sat down at the table, then started having fun with the game, then... cleared his plate! And asked for seconds! Didn't touch the broccoli but thats ok. DS 6 (who had previously refused the food) cleared his plate and tried the broccoli. Today I gave DS4 a sensory bin with cooked noodles of a type he's often been offered and never tried. He at first didn't want to engage because they were "mushy" but I got him into a game and after playing with the noddles for 10 minutes he picked up a fistful and ate a huge bite! And another! We are going to keep researching how to expose DS4 to new foods in appropriate ways. If we don't see enough progress at home we will reach out to professional help but I'm feeling very hopeful. Thank you all! I had no idea we were doing so much damage nor that DS4 had other things going on outside of his control.

Happy to hear that you’re making progress, OP! This stuff is hard. I know people here love Kids Eat in Color, but I prefer Solid Starts (also on Instagram). The founder has a severely picky eater and shares her own journey and ways that she helps him try new things. They also have a course you can buy about reversing picky eating. I haven’t done that one, but we did their toddler course and found it very helpful in terms of helping us understand what’s normal, what isn’t, and how to approach common challenges like food refusal. But even their Instagram posts/stories have helped me so much and have lots od good information. Good luck!

Same poster - just to add that I was very picky as a kid and now eat pretty much everything. I didn’t grow out of it until I went to college, studied abroad, and wanted to fit in by eating what everyone else was eating. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s a tough phase.

[Anonymous]

Wondering if anyone here has any experience with kids who are very sensitive to smells? I have two children, 6 years apart, both of whom hate cheese and refuse to eat anything with any cheese component. How to deal with this? It isn't an allergy or anything but given that it seemingly impacts both of them, I wonder if it's some genetic thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering if anyone here has any experience with kids who are very sensitive to smells? I have two children, 6 years apart, both of whom hate cheese and refuse to eat anything with any cheese component. How to deal with this? It isn't an allergy or anything but given that it seemingly impacts both of them, I wonder if it's some genetic thing?

No experience but are you sure the issue is smell and not lactose intolerance or disliking the bacterial aftertaste to cheese? I know my sister and I both had foods we “disliked” as children that we realized as adults gave us mild digestive issues. Sometimes it’s hard to little kids to logically connect why they dislike something that gives them uncomfortable poops a few hours later but their monkey brains absolutely know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am still a picky eater. It is not a choice and it is not fun. Coercion only makes mealtime a battle. Being forced to try new food only makes me more anxious about eating, period. The worst was when I was living with relatives who literally would not feed me anything that I could eat. And I say *could* because it’s genuinely not a choice. I was SO hungry, for days. But the thought of fondue made with uncooked chicken was literally as palatable to me as eating your liver in an oil fondue. I couldn’t do it.

There are two people in my life who have helped me expand my palette. One is my college roommate, who later became a chef. She didn’t take it personally that I wouldn’t try food she made. She knew I wasn’t choosing to be rude. What she did was cook me foods that were safe for me, and she built bridges to new foods.

For instance, I had never eaten a kidney bean or any bean for that matter. Just the idea of it exploding in my mouth as I chewed it would make me feel like retching and break out in a cold sweat. I would as soon eat my own eyeball.

But she knew I love potatoes, and she showed me the beautiful white fluffy inside of a large cooked kidney bean, presenting it like a baked potato, explaining that it was a very yummy white carbohydrate like I love in other forms, just smaller. I tasted the white stuff and loved it. And when I finally ate a whole bean, it was while imagining it as a teeny tiny baked potato. They’re now one of my favorite foods (which sucks because I’m trying to stay low carb).

If the pickiness is texture based and full of anxiety…you’re not going to win this battle. There is no point fighting.

As for “catering” to your child…isn’t your job to see that he is fed daily? Make sure that he is fed. That means serving him what he will eat. It’s your job to prepare a meal for him as much as for your spouse and other child.

Making sure kids are fed doesn’t mean you are indulging pickiness, as if it is simply brattiness. It is feeding your kid. Make sure there are safe, edible foods at every meal.

This is so true! Other posters - look up ARFID. That is what is described here. Exposure is the answer but it must be slow and address the anxiety piece. New foods need to build off of "approved" foods. Forcing your kid to eat will make things much worse. OP, get some professional help.

PP your chef friend sounds like an incredibly ally for you.