Daughter refusing dresses at 2.5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the last month or two my 2.5 year old daughter has suddenly become adamant about not wanting to wear dresses.

If she was older, we would have conversation about her feelings and about her identity.

But at 2.5, I'm not sure if this is a normal toddler thing that I can overrule sometimes as a parent. (Is it really any different from toddler girls who want to wear princess dresses all the time?) Or something larger and identity-related that I need to respect.

We have a big event coming up where a dress is appropriate. Is it ok to make her wear one?

You don't see alot of women wearing dresses because they suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a romper / jumpsuit. She'll be adorable at the event.

This is what I would do. Is there something specific about dresses that she doesn't like? My cousin refused to wear dresses around that age but this was in the 80s when everything was lacy and dresses usually meant wearing tights too.

+1 Also an 80s kid who hated dresses because they came with tights or ruffly socks and patent leather shoes. I used to cut the lace off the socks. Drove my mom nuts. We both survived.

OP, if this is a wedding or something, honestly yeah I'd force her into the dress and tell her that we wear certain clothes for certain events. For anything less than that, a pretty/fancy top with leggings will suffice, or how about a cute skort. I give my kids (a boy and a girl) plenty of choice within certain categories, but I don't let them wear shorts in winter, jackets in summer, or other clothing wholly inappropriate to the occasion. My son wears a polo shirt to synagogue whether he wants to or not, and my daughter wears a dress - but they can choose which polo shirt and which dress. When he's a little older DS will need to wear a dress shirt and proper shoes, too, not sneakers, and I am prepared to enforce that.

Why can’t your daughter wear a polo shirt and slacks to synagogue? Ugh. Sexism is alive and well in 2022.

OP, don’t force your kid to wear dresses. It’s ridiculous, dated nonsense. She can be dressed up and appropriately dressed in slacks (yes, even for more formal events) just like a boy can.

[Anonymous]

57 year old woman here who has always hated dresses. It means nothing other than I don’t like wearing dresses.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're set on her wearing something like a dress to your upcoming event, go get a cute top/leggings set someplace like Kohls for her. They have ones with tunic style tops. Then some cute shoes and she's all set.

[Anonymous]

Man. No wonder these kids are so messed up. Back in the day parents would just say okay and bri think anything of it. Today everyone labels a child. Let the kids be a kid. Her brother wanting to wear a dress means nothing.

[Anonymous]

At that age my daughter refused to wear pants unless they were extremely loose and baggy. She also could not stand to wear socks. Layers in general bothered her. That winter was hard!

[Anonymous]

Nobody cares what a 2 year old wears. Don't force her to wear a dress. This isn't the 1950's

[Anonymous]

Mine did too from the age of 2-3 and was very particular about her favorite t shirts but somehow loved pink and also frilly tutus.

Now she has three specific dresses in a specific color and style that she likes to wear and also bathing suit separates. I can coax her into her formerly favorite t shirts when the other stuff is out of sight.

I think it's a phase, let it go and it will pass.

You might also experiment with types of dress. Mine only likes Tshirt style pullover dresses with short sleeves. No straps or cap sleeves or frills or back closure.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 3 now and between 1 and 2 she only wanted to wear long sleeve shirts and pants. And they had to be white. She loves dresses now and dressing up in tutus and/or dressing up like a princess is her favorite thing. This is probably not about gender identity and more about comfort. Also, newsflash: girls and women can prefer pants/shorts over dresses/skirts and not have a gender identity issue.

I would try to negotiate with your daughter about a dress and maybe offer that she can wear pants/tights under the dress if that's preferable. Maybe you can get her a long shirt or a shirt that bumps out at the bottom as a compromise.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's a control issue, not a gender or identity issue. It's a perfectly normal behavior at that age to want to start to control whatever they can. They have so little control of their environment and surroundings that they seek to control whatever they can. That can be anywhere from what clothes they wear to foods they eat, things they play with and where they go.

Pick your battles, and this is not one of them to have. If you choose this hill to die on, the next 16 years of your life are going to be a hell of your own making. Find an outfit that looks nice, and doesn't include a dress or skirt and let her wear that to the big event. There are plenty of nice looking clothes for kids that do not include dresses.

[Anonymous]

My 3yo doesn't like dresses either. However, yeah, there are occasionally times we need something nicer looking- e.g., church or a wedding, and we call them "big shirts." Which she accepts, lol. It also helps immensely to have very comfortable knit dresses and to let her pick from two options. That meant she wore a slightly more casual dress to a wedding than the occasional called for, but hey, at least she wasn't in her pajamas (which she would wear every day if I let her).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a romper / jumpsuit. She'll be adorable at the event.

This is what I would do. Is there something specific about dresses that she doesn't like? My cousin refused to wear dresses around that age but this was in the 80s when everything was lacy and dresses usually meant wearing tights too.

+1 Also an 80s kid who hated dresses because they came with tights or ruffly socks and patent leather shoes. I used to cut the lace off the socks. Drove my mom nuts. We both survived.

OP, if this is a wedding or something, honestly yeah I'd force her into the dress and tell her that we wear certain clothes for certain events. For anything less than that, a pretty/fancy top with leggings will suffice, or how about a cute skort. I give my kids (a boy and a girl) plenty of choice within certain categories, but I don't let them wear shorts in winter, jackets in summer, or other clothing wholly inappropriate to the occasion. My son wears a polo shirt to synagogue whether he wants to or not, and my daughter wears a dress - but they can choose which polo shirt and which dress. When he's a little older DS will need to wear a dress shirt and proper shoes, too, not sneakers, and I am prepared to enforce that.

Why can’t your daughter wear a polo shirt and slacks to synagogue? Ugh. Sexism is alive and well in 2022.

OP, don’t force your kid to wear dresses. It’s ridiculous, dated nonsense. She can be dressed up and appropriately dressed in slacks (yes, even for more formal events) just like a boy can.

I mean, my 3yo DD probably wouldn't want to wear slacks and a polo either, especially in the summer! When she's older, I will happily let her pick out dress clothes at the store and if that's what she wants, so be it. But right now she can pick from the range of options we have (none are frilly and there are plenty in her "favorite" colors). I'm not becoming a slave to a toddler's changing whims....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a romper / jumpsuit. She'll be adorable at the event.

This is what I would do. Is there something specific about dresses that she doesn't like? My cousin refused to wear dresses around that age but this was in the 80s when everything was lacy and dresses usually meant wearing tights too.

+1 Also an 80s kid who hated dresses because they came with tights or ruffly socks and patent leather shoes. I used to cut the lace off the socks. Drove my mom nuts. We both survived.

OP, if this is a wedding or something, honestly yeah I'd force her into the dress and tell her that we wear certain clothes for certain events. For anything less than that, a pretty/fancy top with leggings will suffice, or how about a cute skort. I give my kids (a boy and a girl) plenty of choice within certain categories, but I don't let them wear shorts in winter, jackets in summer, or other clothing wholly inappropriate to the occasion. My son wears a polo shirt to synagogue whether he wants to or not, and my daughter wears a dress - but they can choose which polo shirt and which dress. When he's a little older DS will need to wear a dress shirt and proper shoes, too, not sneakers, and I am prepared to enforce that.

Why can’t your daughter wear a polo shirt and slacks to synagogue? Ugh. Sexism is alive and well in 2022.

OP, don’t force your kid to wear dresses. It’s ridiculous, dated nonsense. She can be dressed up and appropriately dressed in slacks (yes, even for more formal events) just like a boy can.

I mean, my 3yo DD probably wouldn't want to wear slacks and a polo either, especially in the summer! When she's older, I will happily let her pick out dress clothes at the store and if that's what she wants, so be it. But right now she can pick from the range of options we have (none are frilly and there are plenty in her "favorite" colors). I'm not becoming a slave to a toddler's changing whims....

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

In 4th grade I too declared dresses were off limits.

I am all grown up now, have kids and am still a girl who doesn't really like dresses.

Not everything is a gender crisis.

[Anonymous]

Did not like dresses as a kid because it limited what I could do - I would have to watch how I sat (knees together), whether I could go upside down on the monkey bars, etc. Now I wear dresses all the time for work because it is so much easier to slip on a dress than have to match a top and pants (and worry about a dress shirt riding up). All about functionality. It is clothing - who cares?