Daughter refusing dresses at 2.5

[Anonymous]

OP I would let her wear a nice outfit that’s not a dress to the event. Don’t worry about her identity at 2 big don’t force her to wear clothing she is not comfortable in. My DD is 10 now and wore dresses at 2, by 5 was refusing and gradually has morphed into all “ boy clothing” still a girl, no trans issues, but she’s wearing what she feels good in. For a special event she would wear a button down shirt with a tie, and khakis, or similar… not saying your 2yo needs s tie, but don’t fight battles that are just about confirming to gender clothing that is marketed the way it is..

[Anonymous]

If wearing a dress at the event is only appropriate and not necessary, why don’t you dress her in something other than a dress?

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, what does wearing a dress have to do with “identity”? I mean, beyond her identifying that she does not want to wear dresses right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a romper / jumpsuit. She'll be adorable at the event.

This is what I would do. Is there something specific about dresses that she doesn't like? My cousin refused to wear dresses around that age but this was in the 80s when everything was lacy and dresses usually meant wearing tights too.

[Anonymous]

So don’t use dresses.

No need to read into it.

Each of my kids went in phases of what they’d wear. Only dresses. Only leggings. Only fireman costume. Only pink. Not all were by stereotypical gender. None of that had anything to do with their eventual sexuality/gender.

[Anonymous]

LOL good one OP.

[Anonymous]

Let her wear what she wants. Find a fancy matching top-and-bottom set for the event.

It is normal for kids this age to become very opinionated about what they wear, and I promise that life will go easier for you if you start giving her some agency over this now. A 2yo has very little control over her life, but if you let her pick the clothes that go on her body, she will feel a lot less put upon about the fact that her schedule, her location, what she eats, what activities she does, etc., are pretty much all dictated by adults. Stuff like clothes, color choices, hair, the decor in their room, etc., are easy wins for them. Give them the easy wins so you don't have to battle it out over stuff like bedtime, preschool, food, etc.

[Anonymous]

Both my kids hated fancy clothes at different points. Dresses are annoying for little kids! They trip and can't play very well. So I get it.

I'd do my best to find an alternative to the dress. One of my kids could be bribed really well into something, the other could not. So I had to either force, or let it go.

I do not think this is any commentary on her larger gender identity, but even if it is, oh well. Love the kid you've got, not the one in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a romper / jumpsuit. She'll be adorable at the event.

This is what I would do. Is there something specific about dresses that she doesn't like? My cousin refused to wear dresses around that age but this was in the 80s when everything was lacy and dresses usually meant wearing tights too.

+1 Also an 80s kid who hated dresses because they came with tights or ruffly socks and patent leather shoes. I used to cut the lace off the socks. Drove my mom nuts. We both survived.

OP, if this is a wedding or something, honestly yeah I'd force her into the dress and tell her that we wear certain clothes for certain events. For anything less than that, a pretty/fancy top with leggings will suffice, or how about a cute skort. I give my kids (a boy and a girl) plenty of choice within certain categories, but I don't let them wear shorts in winter, jackets in summer, or other clothing wholly inappropriate to the occasion. My son wears a polo shirt to synagogue whether he wants to or not, and my daughter wears a dress - but they can choose which polo shirt and which dress. When he's a little older DS will need to wear a dress shirt and proper shoes, too, not sneakers, and I am prepared to enforce that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her “feelings and identity” are that she is a kid who doesn’t like dresses. Sheesh. There are plenty of nice-clothes outfits that aren’t dresses. Use your Google machine.

+1

Put her in nice pants and a nice shirt. Done.

[Anonymous]

one of mine suddenly would not wear dresses with pockets. so, no, not an identity issue, just a growing kid preference issue. eventually she forgot about it and pockets were ok again. kids are weird.

[Anonymous]

Someone told her they could see her underpants on the slide at daycare.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal for a toddler to reject all manner of things at any point in time. FWIW with dresses, my DD rejected them for a while because so many styles had itchy waistbands.

I would not force it and do your best to find an alternative. People still talk about how my toddler self threw a tantrum at my uncle's wedding because I hated the flower girl dress so much, and wouldn't participate as a result.

[Anonymous]

Troll fail

[Anonymous]

I HATE dresses and always have. I am 100% a woman, no gender confusion here. It began as a sensory thing and now I just feel super awkward in them (in addition to sensory). I highly prefer the sensation of wearing pants. Wearing dresses just feels really weird to me. Get her a cute soft tunic top and leggings and cute sparkly mary janes for the vent.