Millennials: the house you grew up in vs. your house now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you move to an area that is like the area here was when your parents bought, you can have a big house.

What a crock.

Hmm let's see what AU Park was like when my parents bought back in 1985:

Nice housing stock, check!

Great public schools, check!

Short commute downtown, check!

Low crime, check!

Walkable to grocery stores and restaurants, check!

Affordable to regular middle class people, check!

Now let's jump to 2022, where exactly can you buy that checks all those boxes? My wife and I make significantly more than my parents did, inflation adjusted, when they bought their AU Park house and we are nowhere near being able to afford a SFH in that neighborhood or any neighborhood that checks even half of those boxes.

Population has exploded since then. But you can easily get it all but the short commute downtown. And your parents couldn’t WFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennials have never grown up.

Yeah, it is becoming more and more apparent. Unfortunately now they're raising kids. Yikes. This is an accident that's happening before our very eyes.

They have kids, daycare workers, teachers and grandparents are raising them

Ah, yes, because Boomers and Gen X never had teachers or grandparents help them raise their kids... (please note the dripping sarcasm).

In my case my parents and nearly all my friends parents were First Generation Irish, German, Italian etc. None of them had zero help from family or could afford to pay for anything at all to help raise their kids.

My co-workers and nieces and nephews who are Millennials it takes an entire village to raise two kids. Like day care during school year, camps in summer, after school programs, baby sitters, in-laws covering, maid, lawn service, handimen, tutors, pre-cooked meals. All for 1-2 kids.

If your parents didn't have family to help and couldn't afford to hire help, what did they do with their kids? Did both parents work? Did they leave the kids with neighbors? Did the toddlers raise themselves?

My husband and I (Millennials) both work full time and are transplants to the area (as are a lot of people in the DMV) without family nearby to help, so, yes, we send our kids to daycare and summer camp. And we clean our own house, mow our own lawn, do our own home repairs, and cook our own meals.

To OP's original question, the house I grew up in in the suburban Midwest is a lot like my current house in Northern Virginia, except I grew up with two full-time-working blue collar parents and the regular help of both sets of grandparents who lived nearby, plus babysitters and after school programs and summer camps. Those things aren't some unique Millennial-parent need that no generation has used before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennials have never grown up.

Yeah, it is becoming more and more apparent. Unfortunately now they're raising kids. Yikes. This is an accident that's happening before our very eyes.

They have kids, daycare workers, teachers and grandparents are raising them

Ah, yes, because Boomers and Gen X never had teachers or grandparents help them raise their kids... (please note the dripping sarcasm).

In my case my parents and nearly all my friends parents were First Generation Irish, German, Italian etc. None of them had zero help from family or could afford to pay for anything at all to help raise their kids.

My co-workers and nieces and nephews who are Millennials it takes an entire village to raise two kids. Like day care during school year, camps in summer, after school programs, baby sitters, in-laws covering, maid, lawn service, handimen, tutors, pre-cooked meals. All for 1-2 kids.

If your parents didn't have family to help and couldn't afford to hire help, what did they do with their kids? Did both parents work? Did they leave the kids with neighbors? Did the toddlers raise themselves?

My husband and I (Millennials) both work full time and are transplants to the area (as are a lot of people in the DMV) without family nearby to help, so, yes, we send our kids to daycare and summer camp. And we clean our own house, mow our own lawn, do our own home repairs, and cook our own meals.

To OP's original question, the house I grew up in in the suburban Midwest is a lot like my current house in Northern Virginia, except I grew up with two full-time-working blue collar parents and the regular help of both sets of grandparents who lived nearby, plus babysitters and after school programs and summer camps. Those things aren't some unique Millennial-parent need that no generation has used before.

New poster, agreeing with Prior Poster - if both parents work, then what? I get that there used to be more latch-key possibilities but it's not like 4 year olds were home alone 30 years ago. But yeah, school is over at 3:40 and work lasts until at least 5pm so yeah, aftercare is a real thing. And summer break isn't a thing for a professional adult so yup, summer camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennials have never grown up.

Yeah, it is becoming more and more apparent. Unfortunately now they're raising kids. Yikes. This is an accident that's happening before our very eyes.

They have kids, daycare workers, teachers and grandparents are raising them

Ah, yes, because Boomers and Gen X never had teachers or grandparents help them raise their kids... (please note the dripping sarcasm).

In my case my parents and nearly all my friends parents were First Generation Irish, German, Italian etc. None of them had zero help from family or could afford to pay for anything at all to help raise their kids.

My co-workers and nieces and nephews who are Millennials it takes an entire village to raise two kids. Like day care during school year, camps in summer, after school programs, baby sitters, in-laws covering, maid, lawn service, handimen, tutors, pre-cooked meals. All for 1-2 kids.

If your parents didn't have family to help and couldn't afford to hire help, what did they do with their kids? Did both parents work? Did they leave the kids with neighbors? Did the toddlers raise themselves?

My husband and I (Millennials) both work full time and are transplants to the area (as are a lot of people in the DMV) without family nearby to help, so, yes, we send our kids to daycare and summer camp. And we clean our own house, mow our own lawn, do our own home repairs, and cook our own meals.

To OP's original question, the house I grew up in in the suburban Midwest is a lot like my current house in Northern Virginia, except I grew up with two full-time-working blue collar parents and the regular help of both sets of grandparents who lived nearby, plus babysitters and after school programs and summer camps. Those things aren't some unique Millennial-parent need that no generation has used before.

+1

I went to day camps as a kid, and did programs through parks and rec. We had babysitters and family watch us. And my mom was a SAHM and this was considered normal! People did not criticize my mom for letting “other people raise her kids” — they congratulated her on making sure we had a variety of experiences in life so we became well rounded people.

Meanwhile working moms were vilified for having “latch key kids”. So in recent years, working parents send kids to aftercare and camps instead. And what happens? They are criticized for the same things my mom was congratulated for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you move to an area that is like the area here was when your parents bought, you can have a big house.

What a crock.

Hmm let's see what AU Park was like when my parents bought back in 1985:

Nice housing stock, check!

Great public schools, check!

Short commute downtown, check!

Low crime, check!

Walkable to grocery stores and restaurants, check!

Affordable to regular middle class people, check!

Now let's jump to 2022, where exactly can you buy that checks all those boxes? My wife and I make significantly more than my parents did, inflation adjusted, when they bought their AU Park house and we are nowhere near being able to afford a SFH in that neighborhood or any neighborhood that checks even half of those boxes.

You’re absolutely right, and it’s why so many millennials feel downwardly mobile. But what you’re missing is that DC was a much crappier and more dangerous city. You can have all that now in Baltimore but you don’t want to live there.

[Anonymous]

My house is pretty similar to the one I grew up in, but I also grew up in a more expensive city than DC. My parents also had a lake house, and we don't have the budget for that (at least not right now).

[Anonymous]

My son is a millennial, and while his house is smaller than the one he grew up in, it is perfect for him. He lives alone in a townhouse with a small patio and garden in the back. He hated yard work growing up, so it is understandable that this is the type of house he would want. He bought the house when he was 23, which was a good ten years before dh and I bought a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quality over quantity here. Considerably smaller, but in a much better location. I would not be able to live in the isolated, wooded cul-de-sac that I grew up on. Now we're smaller (townhouse) but can walk to everything. The quality of life is infinitely better.

+1. I grew up in a brand new 3,000 square foot house in Florida. Current house is 2,300 square feet. My kids walk to school, playgrounds, Starbucks, etc. You couldn’t pay me to move back home, which was walkable to nothing and I was dependent on my parents to drive me everywhere and anywhere I needed to go. My kids are having a much better childhood than I did.

Yup, nothing like a walkable Starbucks to improve your kids quality of life. The only thing kids care about being walkable is their friends' houses.

Really? I think kids walking to school and sports practice at school is pretty awesome. Sure, they like walking to friends’ houses, but walking to school makes life pretty nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you move to an area that is like the area here was when your parents bought, you can have a big house.

What a crock.

Hmm let's see what AU Park was like when my parents bought back in 1985:

Nice housing stock, check!

Great public schools, check!

Short commute downtown, check!

Low crime, check!

Walkable to grocery stores and restaurants, check!

Affordable to regular middle class people, check!

Now let's jump to 2022, where exactly can you buy that checks all those boxes? My wife and I make significantly more than my parents did, inflation adjusted, when they bought their AU Park house and we are nowhere near being able to afford a SFH in that neighborhood or any neighborhood that checks even half of those boxes.

You’re absolutely right, and it’s why so many millennials feel downwardly mobile. But what you’re missing is that DC was a much crappier and more dangerous city. You can have all that now in Baltimore but you don’t want to live there.

Was AU Park "dangerous and crappy" though? Bethesda (where prices were roughly similar)? North Arlington? Of course not - I grew up there, I know. I'd gladly let Shaw or Columbia Heights (where I never go anyway) get crappy again in exchange for an affordable house in Upper NW exactly the way it was in the 80s.

And of course I don't want to live in Baltimore. It's an insane commute to DC and a completely different city, not comparable at all. If Baltimore had the jobs and pay and transit and museums and theaters and concert venues and restaurants of DC I'd gladly live there, but it doesn't even come close so it's a completely irrelevant comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quality over quantity here. Considerably smaller, but in a much better location. I would not be able to live in the isolated, wooded cul-de-sac that I grew up on. Now we're smaller (townhouse) but can walk to everything. The quality of life is infinitely better.

+1. I grew up in a brand new 3,000 square foot house in Florida. Current house is 2,300 square feet. My kids walk to school, playgrounds, Starbucks, etc. You couldn’t pay me to move back home, which was walkable to nothing and I was dependent on my parents to drive me everywhere and anywhere I needed to go. My kids are having a much better childhood than I did.

Yup, nothing like a walkable Starbucks to improve your kids quality of life. The only thing kids care about being walkable is their friends' houses.

My kids are too old for the playground and too young for bars, so yeah, Starbucks it is for now. Better than being on screens all day.

[Anonymous]

Both were pretty large- about 3500-4000sq ft. I will say that my parent's home got us better schools though. Schools are just really poor in this area and the ratings differ drastically. My districted school is terrible, but the one my neighbors attend across the street is a 9/10. Here they try to concentrate poverty so that some schools are amazing and some are just poverty stricken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you move to an area that is like the area here was when your parents bought, you can have a big house.

What a crock.

Hmm let's see what AU Park was like when my parents bought back in 1985:

Nice housing stock, check!

Great public schools, check!

Short commute downtown, check!

Low crime, check!

Walkable to grocery stores and restaurants, check!

Affordable to regular middle class people, check!

Now let's jump to 2022, where exactly can you buy that checks all those boxes? My wife and I make significantly more than my parents did, inflation adjusted, when they bought their AU Park house and we are nowhere near being able to afford a SFH in that neighborhood or any neighborhood that checks even half of those boxes.

You’re absolutely right, and it’s why so many millennials feel downwardly mobile. But what you’re missing is that DC was a much crappier and more dangerous city. You can have all that now in Baltimore but you don’t want to live there.

Was AU Park "dangerous and crappy" though? Bethesda (where prices were roughly similar)? North Arlington? Of course not - I grew up there, I know. I'd gladly let Shaw or Columbia Heights (where I never go anyway) get crappy again in exchange for an affordable house in Upper NW exactly the way it was in the 80s.

And of course I don't want to live in Baltimore. It's an insane commute to DC and a completely different city, not comparable at all. If Baltimore had the jobs and pay and transit and museums and theaters and concert venues and restaurants of DC I'd gladly live there, but it doesn't even come close so it's a completely irrelevant comparison.

I think the PP was just saying that DC has come up in the world since the 1990s, and so have prices. When the city becomes more appealing, the suburban areas of the city and surrounding counties also become more appealing. While prices in DC are relatively higher than they were 30 years ago, prices in other cities (especially in the South and midwest) are still affordable.

[Anonymous]

Gen-X here, the house I lived in the longest was a 1980s NOVA suburban neighborhood home with a pool. My parents bought it when it was first built for 185k and added the pool the same year. Dad worked/mom was SAH.

While the house I live in now is in the same area and is objectively larger (and newer), we only afford it because we have both always worked and were able to trade up from condo to townhouse to SFH when markets were hot. Our options on one salary would have been very, very limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you move to an area that is like the area here was when your parents bought, you can have a big house.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they compare? I am struggling coming to terms with the fact that our likely forever home is older, smaller by 1k sq ft (more for DH), and in a less desirable neighborhood than the home I grew up in. We make way more than either set of parents ever did and they were in this area as well, but of course housing prices have rapidly outpaced income so comparable homes to those we grew up in are hundreds of thousands out of reach for us. What about you?

Find something real to struggle about. Thanks.

Seriously. Or just get a new job and move. Life isn’t that hard for most of the DCUM complainers, there are options. People act like the DMV is the center of the universe. Figure out what you really want and make the tradeoffs to get there.