Overvalued

[Anonymous]

I think everyone should get paid, high school and college kids shouldn't be putting up with unpaid work. Yes, many opportunities are too good to pass as instead of immediate payment, you get delayed benefits but system shouldn't manipulate young students into working for free.

[Anonymous]

Internships with good companies often pay higher than retail or odd jobs. Research work is usually low paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mythical belief that work ethics can only be learned by paid odd jobs.

It's a deeply grained part of the American mythological, where people lift themselves up by their bootstraps, self-made, did it on their own. I don't the statistics bear that out in the least.

[Anonymous]

Its amazing and impressive to be self made but if parents have resources, there is no shame in using them to give children a better life. There is no advantage in depriving them to make some point. Don't spoil, don't deprive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have five adults who are successful, and I stressed hard work and independence and I do not pay for college.

Do you have the means to pay for college? If you are wealthy and aren't paying for college, I'd consider that pretty selfish.

Of course PP doesn’t. Not without leveraging the house anyway. Pure cope.

How do you know? There are some wealthy people on this site who think kids should pay for college because it teaches them a lesson, or whatever. Which isn't fair for kids from families who can easily afford it, because they don't qualify for financial aid so can only go for merit aid which clearly limits their options.

Educated guess.

[Anonymous]

It’s how we justify blaming people in poverty for their poverty. If they only worked harder,…. It is a lie. People who succeed almost always had help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% agree. People who try to synthesize coming from modest means aren’t doing their kids a single favor.

This, and thank you for stating it succinctly.

I think what happens is a lot of people who are actually from very modest backgrounds and worked their way through college become well off and then want to pretend that their kids are in the same position they were in. They aren’t! They are growing up UMC with UMC peers. College costs many multiples more now. Graduates are competing in a much more global employment marketplace than their parents did in the 80s and 90s. And there are fewer opportunities to build wealth via real estate because you need do much more capital going in (and again, are competing against far more people and investors than anyone was 30 years ago).

Ignoring these factors doesn’t help you raise kids with more character or a better work ethic. Instead, it puts your children in a bind where they will be treated as privileged but they will have far fewer advantages than many peers. They will be considered wealthy but have no actual access to capital, and the money they do earn will be immediately sucked up by education and housing costs. They’ll just wind up resenting you. They’ll wind up in middling careers because they couldn’t afford to self fund opportunities like graduate programs or unpaid internships. And you’ll complain about how they aren’t as successful as so-and-so from down the street, never acknowledging that kid graduated debt free and his parents paid for his housing the first four years after college or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s how we justify blaming people in poverty for their poverty. If they only worked harder,…. It is a lie. People who succeed almost always had help.

Its not necessarily wealthy and connected families. Sometimes financial aid, merit scholarships, mentors, coaches, teachers, special programs, quota seats, hiring manager etc can give you opportunities not given to others. Its mostly luck.

[Anonymous]

If lady luck starts favoring you, doors open up.

[Anonymous]

Luck and hard work are better than just luck or just hard work.

[Anonymous]

Divorced and remarried wealthy parents often not paying for college but make kid ineligible for aid.

[Anonymous]

We can pay for college but still expect DC to work summers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We paid for college, but our kids also worked during summers and sometimes during school to earn their own spending money and in one case, sorority dues.

I think these jobs are important - they teach good work skills and the importance of showing up on time. I had a 24 year old employee once who didn't understand why she couldn't just show up for work at noon - this was for an office job with 8:30-5 hours.

We pay for elite private high school and will pay for college. However, it was very important to me that my kids spend several high school summers working basic jobs: bussing tables, counter help, etc.

My kids want for nothing and live in an upper NW DC bubble of privilege. It's amazing what they have learned from their jobs: how to be on time, how to deal with a grumpy boss, how hard you have to work to make money in an unskilled job, etc. etc. The jobs have been invaluable