I push my kids and have NO shame! You should too!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So absolutely absurd to not push kids to do advanced stuff. Especially since some average people are deciding the standards.

Push your kids to do well in school, on screener tests, and everywhere, becait will make them better at the end. They will learn about themselves the most.

Go for Algebra in 7th, even in 6th if you can.

LA should have better acceleration too.

Asians and Europeans learn Algebra in 5th or 6th grade. Americans are not into academics in general compared to the rest of the developed world and thus the slow but sure decline.

If we want to make America great again, the first thing to do is to promote study and hardworking spirit.

yes, merit-based, law & order.

[Anonymous]

My kid was put in algebra in 7th grade. I asked the principal to remove him because it didn't seem necessary to take a high school class at that age, unless there was that passion for math. He could take it or leave it.

[Anonymous]

For the proud tiger parents, may I ask: do you enjoy parenting and how do you do it without screaming and fighting with your kids? Also how do you push without shaming them sand telling them that they are stupid and embarrassing your family? I was pushed and have very few happy childhood memories. Is there a way to get results without making everyone miserable including yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the proud tiger parents, may I ask: do you enjoy parenting and how do you do it without screaming and fighting with your kids? Also how do you push without shaming them sand telling them that they are stupid and embarrassing your family? I was pushed and have very few happy childhood memories. Is there a way to get results without making everyone miserable including yourself?

I'm not a tiger dad or someone trying to live their athletic or musical dreams through their kids either. I exposed my kids to various activities and they all chose on their own things that they enjoy and are good at. I encourage them with positive reinforcement. I don't care if they go to a top 25 college either because they are doing what they enjoy and will have an enjoyable life going to any college in say the top 250 or so. Parents deep down want their kids to be happy and humbly this has worked very well for each of my 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a parent does that in athletics and they beet your kid to an Ivy your head explodes.

Unless you make a couple million donation to the ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a parent does that in athletics and they beet your kid to an Ivy your head explodes.

That's what I was going to say, don't get upset when my kid takes your kid's slot due to their athletic ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do you, friend.

In my experience, pushing backfires. My kids are friends with kids that are pushed so I’ve seen the underbelly. But hey, your kids. Parent them how you wish (absent abuse, which is a different matter and no one is talking about).

Nah I know plenty of kids that were pushed and they are all at the top of everything they are going to great schools and they are ok. They are stressed but at this point the kids know themselves they want to succeed and stress is part of it. When my kids were younger I listened to people like you and really end up realizing if you don’t push kids do nothing. It is the very rare exception of kid who is intrinsically motivated without parental involvement.

But I do disagree with the OP on pushing math. Better to learn it well in the early grades and if that means going slower so be it. If you go to fast and learn it in crappy way in the early years it sets a kid up for a harder time later on.

Expect your kids to have a poor relationship with you and need therapy as adults. They will be successful in their careers but it comes at a cost. If you are willing to pay that cost, go for it. If not, maybe reconsider. I'm speaking as a therapist.

What is your real goal as a parent? Financial success? Happiness? Good relationship with you? Start with the end in mind. Sometimes redefining success is absolutely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When a parent does that in athletics and they beet your kid to an Ivy your head explodes.

That's what I was going to say, don't get upset when my kid takes your kid's slot due to their athletic ability.

I won't! Don't get upset when you see my happy multigenerational family vacationing together and genuinely enjoying eachother's company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the proud tiger parents, may I ask: do you enjoy parenting and how do you do it without screaming and fighting with your kids? Also how do you push without shaming them sand telling them that they are stupid and embarrassing your family? I was pushed and have very few happy childhood memories. Is there a way to get results without making everyone miserable including yourself?

Did you get this impression in movies? That’s the art not reality talking about something happened with uneducated parents in old days. There were such parents but I don’t think that is the mainstream even in old days. Have you really heard any parents around you saying something like “you are stupid and embarrassing your family”? Or did your kid tell you that his friends are suffering with this pressure with their parents?
How come you cannot realize that other kids did better because they are self-motivated and their parents provided enough encourage and support, not because of the imagination on “pushing”. Or you just have to rely on this thought to make you feel better that other kids did better but they suffered with tiger parents?
I really don’t think any kid can be pushed to become an award winner.

[Anonymous]

This is dumb. Your kid can be an over achiever and thrive in a challenging curriculum but it's all for naught b/c the buck stops at the TJ admissions parameters. Your kid will be on the same playing field as the Gen Ed kids .

[Anonymous]

Is this cultural thing?

[Anonymous]

I've got to admit that I occasionally find myself wondering if Amy Chua's oldest daughter still plays the piano -- you know for fun and enjoyment. It appears that the way she was pushed she could easily find the whole thing rather traumatizing and something that she avoids as an adult. I would love for a reporter to ask her if she still plays the piano for fun.

[Anonymous]

Eh, we tried that and ended up with the older one a freshman college dropout and the younger in residential treatment for self-harm. YMMV and all that.

[Anonymous]

I push my kids but we still have lots of down time and fun together. They must play a sport each season and play an instrument. I don’t expect certain grades but I need to see them trying or looking for ways to get help if they aren’t understanding or grades are low.

In the summer, we expect 1 hour reading, 1 hour other school type work, and some chores. That still leaves them with about 10 free hours of time. That’s plenty.

It takes practice for kids to learn that they unlock potential when they work hard, that it takes time to become good at something, that you may find you like something if you don’t give up immediately. Parents who are fine with pushing kids in travel sports look down on those who push kids academically. People can really get better at anything with hard work. It’s a lesson worth learning even if your child isn’t very athletic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol! I agree to an extent except I think algebra in 7th is the stupidest trend.

Sounds like the rhetoric of an underachiever.