Pediatrician vs lactation consultant - conflicting advice to follow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one small observation - when the scale is consistently saying 0.5 oz gained after a feed - that's somewhere between 0.25 and 0.75 oz, which is a huge range that could be massively magnified over the course of 20 feeds in a day. So I wouldn't worry at all about "too much" food - not clear they're getting 28 (or however many) oz in the way you'd know a formula-fed baby is.

I would do a full day of pumping and bottle feeding to see exactly how much he eats and how often. Scales can be inaccurate with weight and ounces.

My breastfed baby murder every 1-1.5 hours with me, but would take in more and go every 2-3 hours. See if you can stretch his feeds. My baby was as snacker and took 1-2 ounces at the breast but would take 3-4 ounces with the bottle. I started using the pacifier and stretching naps to hold him off to get him to take a full feed.

It may be tough but starve him a little. Instead of feeding every 30 minutes, try to use a pacifier or get him to sleep longer. Feed him every 1.5-2 hours. He should be taking in at least 1 ounce, but ideally 1.5-3 ounces per feed. He will start taking in more as he goes in longer. It’s also important to start the day off with full feeds to make sure he doesn’t snack all day.

Don't do that. OP, he's gaining fine and your supply is good. Try to stretch feeds but don't go the pumping route. It's not accurate either since baby may be taking more or may be taking less.

OP here. He did the same thing with the bottle when I pumped that one afternoon. I did it to give myself a break and to see if bottle feeding would be easier. I liked that I pumped every 3 hours and my husband was able to do some of the feedings. I prefer breastfeeding because it’s easier but I might pump more then ounce a day to see if I can give myself some relief if he doesn’t stretch his feedings.

OP, you're doing great and your baby is doing great. Keep it up.

Drop the weight checks, try to stretch the feedings. It'll happen but gradually, not overnight. Eventually you'll look around and realize that it has happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf. My babies gained rapidly on my milk and my Harvard-educated pediatrician laughed at how fat they were and congratulated me on their weight gain. They’re now two very healthy weight elementary schoolers. Please ignore your ped.

The weight isn’t the issue. It’s the frequency and OP being exhausted that is the issue.

And the fact that she prefers pumping just to get a break.

Everything doesn’t have to be absolutes. You can aim for a loose schedule and still ultimately feed “on demand.” People take instructions so literally they think it has to be all or nothing. But it won’t do any good if OP gives up nursing or has a breakdown because her schedule is not sustainable. I would definitely be aiming for feeding every 2 hours (start to start, not finish to start) and if he can go 3 hours great! You should also be getting one longer stretch at night - maybe 4-5 hours, if your baby is tightly swaddled, which I highly recommend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one small observation - when the scale is consistently saying 0.5 oz gained after a feed - that's somewhere between 0.25 and 0.75 oz, which is a huge range that could be massively magnified over the course of 20 feeds in a day. So I wouldn't worry at all about "too much" food - not clear they're getting 28 (or however many) oz in the way you'd know a formula-fed baby is.

OP here. I’m not concerned because the pediatrician said to try to get 20 ounces in him in the first month and then it’s minimum of 24 ounce and max of 32 ounces. He said most babies average 24-32 ounces a day.

I EBF’d two babies for over 18 months each. I never not once ever measured one of their feedings or weighed them before and after. Your obsession with ounces is not normal or healthy. Your baby is healthy and gaining. You are working your way toward full blown PPA.

OP here. I bought the scale because I wanted to make sure he was getting enough to eat while my milk was coming in and to make sure I was making enough. I use it still because I like to see how much he gets since he eats so frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf. My babies gained rapidly on my milk and my Harvard-educated pediatrician laughed at how fat they were and congratulated me on their weight gain. They’re now two very healthy weight elementary schoolers. Please ignore your ped.

The weight isn’t the issue. It’s the frequency and OP being exhausted that is the issue.

And the fact that she prefers pumping just to get a break.

Everything doesn’t have to be absolutes. You can aim for a loose schedule and still ultimately feed “on demand.” People take instructions so literally they think it has to be all or nothing. But it won’t do any good if OP gives up nursing or has a breakdown because her schedule is not sustainable. I would definitely be aiming for feeding every 2 hours (start to start, not finish to start) and if he can go 3 hours great! You should also be getting one longer stretch at night - maybe 4-5 hours, if your baby is tightly swaddled, which I highly recommend.

OP here. My husband does the 1am feed or around that time and I sleep right after the 11pm or around there time. I sleep a 4 hours stretch and I take two naps during the stretches where he goes two hours during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you will get a lot of different views on this, but I doubt your ped was trying to say it's not good for the baby if he eats every 30 mins or that the baby is gaining too much weight or something. Rather, it's just that eating every 30 mins-1 hr is not sustainable for YOU, and it's not necessary for the baby. I'd try to space out the feedings for your own sanity. Baby will probably eat more at each feed if you move to that.

This.

Since your bandy is gaining well, it is ok for you to spread out the feedings.

LC’s are going to tell you what it best for lactating. They overwhelming see brand new moms and often a lot of moms who are struggling to produce. Paediatricians have more perspective to how breastfeeding fits into the bigger picture of newborn and childhood development.

Personal anecdote: the one thing I regret is pressure I on myself to EBF. I was able to do to, but it wasn’t easy and my kids aren’t super geniuses and are of average and below average size for their ages. Though, they are extremely healthy and rarely get sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feed on demand, but do make sure he is emptying each breast.

Mine did the frequent feeds too, it is very normal. Feed him off the same breast for 2 hrs before switching (if he is doing small and very frequent feeds), so you can be sure he is going both the foremilk and the hindmilk.

OP here. I will do this. Weight is not an issue though. He was born 7lbs 10oz, went down to 7lbs 7oz, the hospital in the hospital, and was 8lbs 9oz at his two week appointment. He is gaining plenty and is already outgrowing some of the newborn clothes.

then you should stop weighing him! the pediatrician is happy with baby’s weight gain - absolutely no reason to weigh him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

No, PP was blunt but correct. The pediatrician likely sensed that OP is suffering from anxiety. It is not normal to feel like you have to nurse a baby 20x/day and weigh before and after. Especially when the baby is healthy, OP has a good supply, and the baby is gaining well. It really seems like anxiety, unfortunately fueled by the lactation consultant.

FWIW - when my baby had weight gain issues at the same age, the advice was NOT “feed on demand and obsessively weigh.” I was told to stick to a schedule of every 1.5 - 2.5 hours to ensure the baby got a full feed of foremilk and hindmilk, and my breasts were emptied. And then we weighed in *at the pediatrician* more frequently. Although this did not completely resolve the problem since I had low-ish supply, he started gaining better immediately.

At this point, OP is being driven by anxiety for a problem that *does not even exist.*. I think she needs a better LC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

No, PP was blunt but correct. The pediatrician likely sensed that OP is suffering from anxiety. It is not normal to feel like you have to nurse a baby 20x/day and weigh before and after. Especially when the baby is healthy, OP has a good supply, and the baby is gaining well. It really seems like anxiety, unfortunately fueled by the lactation consultant.

FWIW - when my baby had weight gain issues at the same age, the advice was NOT “feed on demand and obsessively weigh.” I was told to stick to a schedule of every 1.5 - 2.5 hours to ensure the baby got a full feed of foremilk and hindmilk, and my breasts were emptied. And then we weighed in *at the pediatrician* more frequently. Although this did not completely resolve the problem since I had low-ish supply, he started gaining better immediately.

At this point, OP is being driven by anxiety for a problem that *does not even exist.*. I think she needs a better LC.

OP bought the scale for the first two weeks. That’s a difficult time with many women have supply issues or trying to get your milk come in. Many babies have weight issues because of it. There is nothing wrong with OP weighing her baby for the first two weeks to make sure her baby is gaining. Now she knows. She said she only does it now because she wants to see how much he eats since he eats so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

No, PP was blunt but correct. The pediatrician likely sensed that OP is suffering from anxiety. It is not normal to feel like you have to nurse a baby 20x/day and weigh before and after. Especially when the baby is healthy, OP has a good supply, and the baby is gaining well. It really seems like anxiety, unfortunately fueled by the lactation consultant.

FWIW - when my baby had weight gain issues at the same age, the advice was NOT “feed on demand and obsessively weigh.” I was told to stick to a schedule of every 1.5 - 2.5 hours to ensure the baby got a full feed of foremilk and hindmilk, and my breasts were emptied. And then we weighed in *at the pediatrician* more frequently. Although this did not completely resolve the problem since I had low-ish supply, he started gaining better immediately.

At this point, OP is being driven by anxiety for a problem that *does not even exist.*. I think she needs a better LC.

OP fed her baby 25x/day. This is beyond the normal amount. Most newborns eat 8-12 times a day. OP needs to start making her baby go every two hours between feeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf. My babies gained rapidly on my milk and my Harvard-educated pediatrician laughed at how fat they were and congratulated me on their weight gain. They’re now two very healthy weight elementary schoolers. Please ignore your ped.

The weight isn’t the issue. It’s the frequency and OP being exhausted that is the issue.

And the fact that she prefers pumping just to get a break.

Everything doesn’t have to be absolutes. You can aim for a loose schedule and still ultimately feed “on demand.” People take instructions so literally they think it has to be all or nothing. But it won’t do any good if OP gives up nursing or has a breakdown because her schedule is not sustainable. I would definitely be aiming for feeding every 2 hours (start to start, not finish to start) and if he can go 3 hours great! You should also be getting one longer stretch at night - maybe 4-5 hours, if your baby is tightly swaddled, which I highly recommend.

The best advice. Aim for stretching out feedings, but ultimately feed according to baby’s demand. Don’t worry OP - every week (day?) at this stage will bring huge changes to baby’s ability to sleep/self-sooth/eat. You’re doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

No, PP was blunt but correct. The pediatrician likely sensed that OP is suffering from anxiety. It is not normal to feel like you have to nurse a baby 20x/day and weigh before and after. Especially when the baby is healthy, OP has a good supply, and the baby is gaining well. It really seems like anxiety, unfortunately fueled by the lactation consultant.

FWIW - when my baby had weight gain issues at the same age, the advice was NOT “feed on demand and obsessively weigh.” I was told to stick to a schedule of every 1.5 - 2.5 hours to ensure the baby got a full feed of foremilk and hindmilk, and my breasts were emptied. And then we weighed in *at the pediatrician* more frequently. Although this did not completely resolve the problem since I had low-ish supply, he started gaining better immediately.

At this point, OP is being driven by anxiety for a problem that *does not even exist.*. I think she needs a better LC.

OP bought the scale for the first two weeks. That’s a difficult time with many women have supply issues or trying to get your milk come in. Many babies have weight issues because of it. There is nothing wrong with OP weighing her baby for the first two weeks to make sure her baby is gaining. Now she knows. She said she only does it now because she wants to see how much he eats since he eats so much.

That’s not normal and she needs to stop. But since, like many others on DCUM, OP already knows everything and has made up her mind she is right, I’m not really sure why she posted. She needs an experienced mom friend IRL who will snap her out of it, or a pediatrician she actually trusts, but it doesn’t sound like she has either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have anxiety OP. Bad. Your baby does not have weight gain issues. It’s not normal to weigh a baby before and after a feeding. Nor is it normal to feed that often, even at 2 weeks. Your baby needs a paci.

This is extraordinarily unhelpful and unkind. OP, you are trying to be a good mom. You are using data to figure out a problem. This PP is right that sometime soon, you hopefully won’t need to weigh after every meal.

I haven’t gotten to the end of the thread yet, but has anyone mentioned reflux? Babies with reflux sometimes want to snack because it relieves discomfort between “real” feedings. A paci won’t give that relief because it’s not about sucking- it’s about soothing the burning reflux feeling.

No, PP was blunt but correct. The pediatrician likely sensed that OP is suffering from anxiety. It is not normal to feel like you have to nurse a baby 20x/day and weigh before and after. Especially when the baby is healthy, OP has a good supply, and the baby is gaining well. It really seems like anxiety, unfortunately fueled by the lactation consultant.

FWIW - when my baby had weight gain issues at the same age, the advice was NOT “feed on demand and obsessively weigh.” I was told to stick to a schedule of every 1.5 - 2.5 hours to ensure the baby got a full feed of foremilk and hindmilk, and my breasts were emptied. And then we weighed in *at the pediatrician* more frequently. Although this did not completely resolve the problem since I had low-ish supply, he started gaining better immediately.

At this point, OP is being driven by anxiety for a problem that *does not even exist.*. I think she needs a better LC.

OP bought the scale for the first two weeks. That’s a difficult time with many women have supply issues or trying to get your milk come in. Many babies have weight issues because of it. There is nothing wrong with OP weighing her baby for the first two weeks to make sure her baby is gaining. Now she knows. She said she only does it now because she wants to see how much he eats since he eats so much.

That’s not normal and she needs to stop. But since, like many others on DCUM, OP already knows everything and has made up her mind she is right, I’m not really sure why she posted. She needs an experienced mom friend IRL who will snap her out of it, or a pediatrician she actually trusts, but it doesn’t sound like she has either.

+1

If the color of the urine in the diapers is okay, then there is no need to check anything about the feeds - they are fully adequate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Breastfeeding is going well and there have been no issues. My baby just likes to eat. We do have a baby scale because I’m paranoid and like to see what’s he’s eating. He will usually eat every 30 minutes to 2 hours. He does snack a lot and will only take 0.5-1oz every 30-60 minutes. If he goes the full two hours - usually only at night and once a day for a long nap - he will eat a full 2-3oz feed.

My baby had already gained a little over 1lb in two weeks. The pediatrician said his weight is fine, but I told him that he eats so often that our whole day is feeding him. He told em some babies love to snack and that I should encourage full feeds and feed every two hours.

The lactation consultant said I need to feed as often he wants to during this crucial time of establishing my supply. She said it’s fine if he is a snacker.

I do admit it gets to me some days. It’s hard having the baby on the breast every 30 minutes. I pumped half of a day just to give myself a break because my nipples were raw and sore and I loved having to only pump every 3 hours. It was harder and it’s easier to breastfeed, but I admit I sometimes think about pumping.

You didn't portray the pediatrician's comments/advice correctly the first time. You made it sounds like he was criticizing the weight gain and saying you should feed less. He was responding to you noting the small frequent feeds and saying you can stretch them out to give yourself a break. Both approaches are fine. Do what's best for you and keeps the baby least fussy. Your supply will be fine and weight gain will be fine either way. Also, things change every few weeks with these little babies. Today's routine will not be next week's routine.

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like your baby is doing great and you are a wonderful, attentive mom. I agree with others that I would try to work towards dropping using the scale. Too much information might feel like a good thing, but it's usually going to up your anxiety even if you don't realize it. Since baby is gaining well and breastfeeding is going well, your job now is to trust your baby and your body to know what they need. Trust your baby will get enough - you don't need to focus on ounces. That's one of the best parts about breastfeeding (when it works), as a mom who did both - not having to worry about ounces with breastfeeding is such a gift.

Please consider folks advice, it's hard to see the forest through the trees when your baby is a few weeks old, but the advice that the scale is likely some anxiety is probably on the right track. and since it sounds like you have some understandable worry from friend's experience about babies not getting enough, you may be offering more than you need to. Anxiety really plays tricks on your brain. This is coming from a mom with PPA - I get it. Boy do I. I am 100% a proponent of feed on demand. 100%. AND cluster feeding all day is not needed to do that, you will likely have to help baby stretch those feeds and that's ok. you will still be feeding on demand. OR if you want to keep snacking, that's FINE - baby can be a snacker if it's ok with you, but you need to just let him come to breast and not be weighing before and after. And it may be hard on you (or at least it would be on me). It's ok to find a balance between your needs and baby's needs.

I know you said you try other things first like pacifier, etc before offering the breast. How about a walk? Getting yourself into a little routine, maybe baby would sleep a little longer on you in a wrap on a walk, or in the stroller and get you some longer stretches.