How does your child manage time in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like his high school may have underprepared him so he's playing catch up. I attended an engineering school and freshman year really showed who had attended a rigorous high school. Those kids had it easy because they already knew more of the content. That changed sophomore year when you saw more of aptitude. The kids who worked hard and were smart excelled. Those who just had a leg up based on prior preparation peaked and sunk toward the middle.

This was exactly my experience at Mudd. Many of the freshmen were completely shocked at how poorly their high schools prepared them. They were not used to working hard - school always came easy to them. All of these kids were very smart and they still had to work hard. Nobody was so smart they could just "coast with minimal effort" as in high school.

OP here. Not that it matters now that DS had already transferred to GMU for his sophomore year, but he did attend one of the big 3 private schools and he scored five on all six AP exams. I would say he was prepared for GT but the school is hard, and looking back, he said that it wasn't a fit for him. He wants to be able to do other hobbies such as music and sports besides academics, not spending 50+/week just to study outside the classroom. It might be ok for some people but not for DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Harvey Mudd and everyone there studied 50 hours a week or more just to keep up. Yeah, it was hard. Nobody dated, nobody played an instrument or did a sport. Down time was playing pool or video games in the student union, or going to a movie on the weekend.

"I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else." -- Leave him alone. He will decide for himself. Plenty of people drop out of tough STEM programs because they decide it isn't right for them. There was significant attrition at Mudd when I was there.

"How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?" -- THEY DON'T. THEY STUDY ALL THE TIME.

Maybe Harvey Mudd should focus on greater reading comprehension...OP already posted an update that he transferred to GMU. Or maybe you think it's impressive to keep posting you went to "Mudd" on an anonymous forum? No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like his high school may have underprepared him so he's playing catch up. I attended an engineering school and freshman year really showed who had attended a rigorous high school. Those kids had it easy because they already knew more of the content. That changed sophomore year when you saw more of aptitude. The kids who worked hard and were smart excelled. Those who just had a leg up based on prior preparation peaked and sunk toward the middle.

This was exactly my experience at Mudd. Many of the freshmen were completely shocked at how poorly their high schools prepared them. They were not used to working hard - school always came easy to them. All of these kids were very smart and they still had to work hard. Nobody was so smart they could just "coast with minimal effort" as in high school.

OP here. Not that it matters now that DS had already transferred to GMU for his sophomore year, but he did attend one of the big 3 private schools and he scored five on all six AP exams. I would say he was prepared for GT but the school is hard, and looking back, he said that it wasn't a fit for him. He wants to be able to do other hobbies such as music and sports besides academics, not spending 50+/week just to study outside the classroom. It might be ok for some people but not for DS.

No surprises here - child with helicopter parent transfers back home because they can't hack it on their own.

You really do need to cut the apron strings and let DS figure things out on his own. CS is hard, especially for those students who do not have a natural inclination. GMU is a very strong program, but not as strong a GT. Hopefully your DS will find his way but it will be much harder to do so from the comforts of home.

[Anonymous]

I really struggled as an engineering major in college. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20s, but that was definitely a factor. I was crazy busy in HS - 3 varsity sports, club leadership positions, AP classes, etc. BUT my parents helped me manage my time. Also my HS classes were easy for me.

I never learned how to study in HS.
I had never struggled with material before and college was a a huge shock because I had to switch from proving I learned and understood material to having to use my knowledge to demonstrate new, unique thoughts.
I realized later that my ADHD had been mostly controlled in HS through a combination of regular exercise, healthy foods, plenty of sleep, and frequent deadlines.
Your kid needs to build in a reasonable time for exercise and hobbies - but also recognize that college is hard and he probably needs to study on the weekend and 40hrs + a week.
He might need someone to look at his workload and syllabus and help him break it down into daily and weekly goals.

Is he really doing nothing but studying? Are you sure? I can totally see myself saying all I did was study when I was 18/19 but I was spending hours in the dining hall talking to friends, going to parties, and generally screwing around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like his high school may have underprepared him so he's playing catch up. I attended an engineering school and freshman year really showed who had attended a rigorous high school. Those kids had it easy because they already knew more of the content. That changed sophomore year when you saw more of aptitude. The kids who worked hard and were smart excelled. Those who just had a leg up based on prior preparation peaked and sunk toward the middle.

This was exactly my experience at Mudd. Many of the freshmen were completely shocked at how poorly their high schools prepared them. They were not used to working hard - school always came easy to them. All of these kids were very smart and they still had to work hard. Nobody was so smart they could just "coast with minimal effort" as in high school.

OP here. Not that it matters now that DS had already transferred to GMU for his sophomore year, but he did attend one of the big 3 private schools and he scored five on all six AP exams. I would say he was prepared for GT but the school is hard, and looking back, he said that it wasn't a fit for him. He wants to be able to do other hobbies such as music and sports besides academics, not spending 50+/week just to study outside the classroom. It might be ok for some people but not for DS.

No surprises here - child with helicopter parent transfers back home because they can't hack it on their own.

You really do need to cut the apron strings and let DS figure things out on his own. CS is hard, especially for those students who do not have a natural inclination. GMU is a very strong program, but not as strong a GT. Hopefully your DS will find his way but it will be much harder to do so from the comforts of home.

NP-Have you always been an a$$hole or you just got bitter over time? Maybe you need to stop being a disparaging D'bag and mind your own family. A simple "glad your kid made the best choice for him" would have been sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Harvey Mudd and everyone there studied 50 hours a week or more just to keep up. Yeah, it was hard. Nobody dated, nobody played an instrument or did a sport. Down time was playing pool or video games in the student union, or going to a movie on the weekend.

"I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else." -- Leave him alone. He will decide for himself. Plenty of people drop out of tough STEM programs because they decide it isn't right for them. There was significant attrition at Mudd when I was there.

"How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?" -- THEY DON'T. THEY STUDY ALL THE TIME.

Maybe Harvey Mudd should focus on greater reading comprehension...OP already posted an update that he transferred to GMU. Or maybe you think it's impressive to keep posting you went to "Mudd" on an anonymous forum? No one cares.

Maybe I thought it was valuable for other parents whose kids are (or are considering) attending a highly demanding STEM school to know what it's like. Maybe you should stop being an a**hole and not make zero-value-added posts about which no one cares.

[Anonymous]

She fits her studies in around partying and sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like his high school may have underprepared him so he's playing catch up. I attended an engineering school and freshman year really showed who had attended a rigorous high school. Those kids had it easy because they already knew more of the content. That changed sophomore year when you saw more of aptitude. The kids who worked hard and were smart excelled. Those who just had a leg up based on prior preparation peaked and sunk toward the middle.

This was exactly my experience at Mudd. Many of the freshmen were completely shocked at how poorly their high schools prepared them. They were not used to working hard - school always came easy to them. All of these kids were very smart and they still had to work hard. Nobody was so smart they could just "coast with minimal effort" as in high school.

OP here. Not that it matters now that DS had already transferred to GMU for his sophomore year, but he did attend one of the big 3 private schools and he scored five on all six AP exams. I would say he was prepared for GT but the school is hard, and looking back, he said that it wasn't a fit for him. He wants to be able to do other hobbies such as music and sports besides academics, not spending 50+/week just to study outside the classroom. It might be ok for some people but not for DS.

Far, far better to graduate on time from GMU than to flunk out of GT or get massively overstressed.

I am glad your son listened to his feelings that it wasn't right for him. A lot of kids would keep pushing even if it wasn't right, perhaps from the feeling that they didn't want to be a quitter or didn't want to disappoint their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Harvey Mudd and everyone there studied 50 hours a week or more just to keep up. Yeah, it was hard. Nobody dated, nobody played an instrument or did a sport. Down time was playing pool or video games in the student union, or going to a movie on the weekend.

"I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else." -- Leave him alone. He will decide for himself. Plenty of people drop out of tough STEM programs because they decide it isn't right for them. There was significant attrition at Mudd when I was there.

"How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?" -- THEY DON'T. THEY STUDY ALL THE TIME.

And this sounds healthy to you? For people learning how to manage adult responsibilities?

No wonder there is so much mental illness and suicide among young people. Their mentors think this lifestyle is fine.

And what a memorable college experience to look back on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She fits her studies in around partying and sleeping.

You must be so proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Harvey Mudd and everyone there studied 50 hours a week or more just to keep up. Yeah, it was hard. Nobody dated, nobody played an instrument or did a sport. Down time was playing pool or video games in the student union, or going to a movie on the weekend.

"I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else." -- Leave him alone. He will decide for himself. Plenty of people drop out of tough STEM programs because they decide it isn't right for them. There was significant attrition at Mudd when I was there.

"How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?" -- THEY DON'T. THEY STUDY ALL THE TIME.

And this sounds healthy to you? For people learning how to manage adult responsibilities?

No wonder there is so much mental illness and suicide among young people. Their mentors think this lifestyle is fine.

And what a memorable college experience to look back on!

I agree that it's unhealthy (in retrospect) but I actually enjoyed all of my time at MIT, where we always said that you had time to choose two of work, play, and sleep. I knew plenty of people who chose work and sleep, and plenty more (including me) who chose work and play and shorted our sleep. It's not great long-term but for a few years, it can be fun to really push yourself to your limits with like-minded people.

I'm very glad OP's son has transferred somewhere that he feels is a better fit and I hope he has great memories of uni to look back on.