Kids home alone in summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you just put them in camps or something? 13 is the age when I knew kids started looking at porn and smoking pot and this was in the 90s. There’s so much awful stuff going on now with kids and phones I don’t think such long chunks of unsupervised time is a good idea. And not really fair to either kid to make one watch the other for the whole summer. Bite the bullet and pay for some camps or a college student with a car who will take them places and keep them occupied and at least out of trouble.

They can't do camps because they do swim and dive team. I also mentioned numerous times that we DO have a sitter this summer. I was asking about when parents typically stop hiring sitters because eventually kid do stay home alone.

And new flash, if kids want to look at porn or smoke weed they are going to find time and way to do it.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't clear that your question was directed to future summers. Why worry about that now? You don't know what they will want to do next and summers thereafter. Maybe they won't want to do swim/dive team next summer. Maybe they will want to do camps or activities that will require someone to drive them, etc. Meanwhile, although I (now) understand that you weren't asking, I (a NP) think your plan for this summer sounds perfectly fine. Although if you live in the kind of neighborhood where kids are out riding their bikes, etc. , I personally would allow that in the afternoons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the sitter?

If I were the sitter I would not feel comfortable just leaving the two kids home on their own like that. If it were my teen who was the babysitter, I would not allow them to accept the job.

And to the pp that said "Make sure they know a neighbor likely to be home in case of trouble, but it’s perfectly safe"--get out of here with that.
It's not your neighbor's responsibility. If it's "perfectly safe" there is absolutely no need to ever involve a neighbor.

That was me, and I vehemently disagree. We have told our kids to go to a neighbor if (1) water starts gushing from the wall/pipes or (2) there is a fire. Don’t waste time finding a cell phone - get out safely and have a neighbor call 911, then me. They have never needed to bother a neighbor, but it was good advice that doesn’t unnecessarily impact our neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Do you know your neighbors, ones that are home most of the time?

I would leave my kids home at those ages for a few hours a day, for sure. We know a lot of neighbors.

The biggest issue isn't really safety for me, its that they will fight a lot. Will yours fight? Get them phones if they don't have them and require that they text you if playing with friends. I know a lot of people who say their kids have to stay inside when home alone, I wouldn't hold my kids to that at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.

This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.

OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.

Yes he is. No matter what rationalization you tell yourself you were leaving your oldest child responsible for the youngest for 3 hours a day no matter what they're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.

so at what age do you leave kids home without a sitter in the summer?

Depends on the kid, not the season, but they aren’t staying home all day,, multiple days in a row, ever.

so at 16 you still hire a sitter for kids? I mean at some point "kids" are left home alone. when is that point? Guidelines posted above suggest after age 13.

No, but I don't leave them home alone ALL DAY for MULTIPLE DAYS IN A ROW. Can't you see that? I said it twice.

I am not leaving town for the month, just going to work from 8-4.

So full-time working parent with a 16 yr old should hire a sitter so they aren't home alone from 8-4 during the summer?

Seriously question, at what age do kids not have a sitter in the summer?

If they are by themselves and not responsible for anyone else you could probably have an 11 to 14 year old without a sitter depending on their maturity level and also their temperament.
I was home alone from the age of 10 fast forward from like 3:00 until 6:00 every day after school and it was not a good situation. I was very mature but I had to be mature and that was the start of needing to take on more responsibility than was age appropriate and because I was mature and could handle it my parents put more and more and more on me including the care of my younger siblings at certain points for hours and hours at a time days and days on end. Including baby and toddler aged siblings.
While you are not doing that asking what age a kid cannot have a sitter is asking about 1 kid. The more kids you have the more problems arise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know your neighbors, ones that are home most of the time?

I would leave my kids home at those ages for a few hours a day, for sure. We know a lot of neighbors.

The biggest issue isn't really safety for me, its that they will fight a lot. Will yours fight? Get them phones if they don't have them and require that they text you if playing with friends. I know a lot of people who say their kids have to stay inside when home alone, I wouldn't hold my kids to that at that age.

My kids don't fight much and are overall pretty good and responsible kids. My older one is they typical first born rule follower. They actually fight more when we are around because they want to get a rise out of us and get their sibling in trouble.

Both kids have times they are home alone both together and separate between the time they get off the bus and when we get home from work. It varies based on the day of the week and which activities they have. I am not really concerned with the 2-3 hr they are home without a sitter in the afternoon. We have numerous neighbors who WFH, know my kids are home alone and my kids know they can go there if there is an emergency.

I guess I will reassess every spring.

[Anonymous]

My kids also did summer swim team (eventually becoming life guards and assistant coaches as you hope your kids will do) and when they were around the age of yours, DH and I split up the afternoons, so one of us would be at home. We didn't think it was right to put the responsibility of baby sitting on our oldest. But, equally important, we didn't want the kids sitting around all afternoon watching TV or playing video games. With one of us at home, they could make plans with friends (e.g., to hang out at our house, play tennis, go for a bike ride, etc.). They could also get little jobs in the neighborhood -- e.g., dog-walking, which is far more lucrative than babysitting (our daughter actually bought an Apple watch with her dog-walking money). Or, they could read or come up with some project to entertain themselves --e.g., our sons repainted an old night table as a birthday gift for their sister. I realize we were fortunate to be able to have the flexibility in our work schedules, but, if you can swing it at all, OP, I would highly recommend that you consider this as an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids also did summer swim team (eventually becoming life guards and assistant coaches as you hope your kids will do) and when they were around the age of yours, DH and I split up the afternoons, so one of us would be at home. We didn't think it was right to put the responsibility of baby sitting on our oldest. But, equally important, we didn't want the kids sitting around all afternoon watching TV or playing video games. With one of us at home, they could make plans with friends (e.g., to hang out at our house, play tennis, go for a bike ride, etc.). They could also get little jobs in the neighborhood -- e.g., dog-walking, which is far more lucrative than babysitting (our daughter actually bought an Apple watch with her dog-walking money). Or, they could read or come up with some project to entertain themselves --e.g., our sons repainted an old night table as a birthday gift for their sister. I realize we were fortunate to be able to have the flexibility in our work schedules, but, if you can swing it at all, OP, I would highly recommend that you consider this as an option.

Yes, my kids will definitely be volunteering with swim team, coaching and lifeguarding when old enough. With a summer birthday for my oldest that won't be for a few more years though.

We do come home earlier some days. My husband has more flexibility because he can go in early and come home early where I have core hours I am expected to be in the office, but can WFH 1 day a week. A lot of time it is hot so they don't feel like being outside in the afternoon and with activities in the evenings (meets and another sport) they enjoy the down time.

[Anonymous]

I have a 13yo and 11yo. I would not be ok with them being home all summer. I think they would survive just fine and capable of being home. I don’t think they would be in danger or anything being home. They would be on screens. I spent most of my summers being bored, reading books and wandering around outside with friends.

I have my kids in a mix of academic and sports.

I don’t work though and I also have a 5yo.

[Anonymous]

At around the 12 we switched over to sleep away camps. There were fewer neighborhood kids that were home and they didn't care as much about swim team anymore. Lots of kids they knew dropped out of it and it had lost it's appeal. So for next year, you may want to consider a sleep away camp at least for a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids also did summer swim team (eventually becoming life guards and assistant coaches as you hope your kids will do) and when they were around the age of yours, DH and I split up the afternoons, so one of us would be at home. We didn't think it was right to put the responsibility of baby sitting on our oldest. But, equally important, we didn't want the kids sitting around all afternoon watching TV or playing video games. With one of us at home, they could make plans with friends (e.g., to hang out at our house, play tennis, go for a bike ride, etc.). They could also get little jobs in the neighborhood -- e.g., dog-walking, which is far more lucrative than babysitting (our daughter actually bought an Apple watch with her dog-walking money). Or, they could read or come up with some project to entertain themselves --e.g., our sons repainted an old night table as a birthday gift for their sister. I realize we were fortunate to be able to have the flexibility in our work schedules, but, if you can swing it at all, OP, I would highly recommend that you consider this as an option.

Yes, my kids will definitely be volunteering with swim team, coaching and lifeguarding when old enough. With a summer birthday for my oldest that won't be for a few more years though.

We do come home earlier some days. My husband has more flexibility because he can go in early and come home early where I have core hours I am expected to be in the office, but can WFH 1 day a week. A lot of time it is hot so they don't feel like being outside in the afternoon and with activities in the evenings (meets and another sport) they enjoy the down time.

You can have down time that doesn't involve screens. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At around the 12 we switched over to sleep away camps. There were fewer neighborhood kids that were home and they didn't care as much about swim team anymore. Lots of kids they knew dropped out of it and it had lost it's appeal. So for next year, you may want to consider a sleep away camp at least for a few weeks.

Swim team is a huge part of their summer. They’d kill me if I sent them away for a week or two during summer swim.

We go on vacation for 2 weeks in August.

[Anonymous]

Even if I was comfortable with the home safety aspect, I'd want my kids to have fun summers. If I lived in Del Ray where they can easily and safely likely walk to several friends houses, a coffee shop, parks to play soccer etc I'd do it. If I lived someplace where they had to sit at home all afternoon because there was no where to walk (or it wasn't safe to do so), friends lived too far, they couldn't bike safely, then I wouldn't. I'd go stir crazy sitting at home for 3 hours a day so I'm sure my kids would too. Some boredom is fine, but I don't want hours of it every day just because they're stuck at home and too old for toys.