Kids home alone in summer

[Anonymous]

At what age do you leave kids home alone all summer?

I have 2 boys, 10 and almost 13. We have always had a summer sitter to take kids to swim practice, make lunch, hang out at home, go to movies on a rainy day and so forth. Pool is only a mile from home and the kids can bike there.

With Covid we have left them home alone a good amount the past 2 years but not every day for 7 weeks. I don't love them playing outside with friends when there is no adult around in the case of an emergency. We both work outside the home about 30 min away.

I am planning to have a sitter for part of the day this summer to cover swim practice and lunch. Then just have them stay alone from 2-5ish.

At what point do I just have the older one watch the younger one? I was babysitting at 12 but my kid feels less mature.

[Anonymous]

Things you need to ask yourself, because this isn’t just about age:
- are you ok with them cooking, bathing at home alone? What are the rules?
- do both kids know first aid/cpr
- do the kids know a fire escape plan from every level of the house?
- how will they call 911? Do they each have their own cell phone, use house phone, etc.?
- if the 10 yo misbehaves, breaks rules, how should the 13-year-old handle it?
- is there a trusted adult available nearby if parents are not available?

[Anonymous]

Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.

[Anonymous]

Playing outside should be allowed. Make sure they know a neighbor likely to be home in case of trouble, but it’s perfectly safe.

As for the older watching the younger, what state/county are you in? Laws differ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Playing outside should be allowed. Make sure they know a neighbor likely to be home in case of trouble, but it’s perfectly safe.

As for the older watching the younger, what state/county are you in? Laws differ.

Fairfax county, VA

I guess I also feel guilty/worry more about them being bored and not having anyone around to take them out to do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing outside should be allowed. Make sure they know a neighbor likely to be home in case of trouble, but it’s perfectly safe.

As for the older watching the younger, what state/county are you in? Laws differ.

Fairfax county, VA

I guess I also feel guilty/worry more about them being bored and not having anyone around to take them out to do things.

If they learned to play outside together well, they wouldn’t need a daily chauffeur! It’s better for them not to have a driver on call

[Anonymous]

I think it's way too long. It's not that they wouldn't survive or couldn't be physically safe, but I have two boys too (older) and these are ages where they need to be busy and occupied. It is just asking for trouble to have them alone and bored for that long. They are prime ages to start exploring internet porn and other unsavory online things, and I think if you leave them with no structure for 3 hours/day you are likely to regret what happens. If it were just a week here or there, maybe, but this is not a solid summer plan.

[Anonymous]

My kids were that age last year. Similar situation with the pool, and DCs (especially DC2) would happily spend all day every day there.

Last summer, each DC had around 3 or 4 weeks of summer camp or other activity, plus a week of family vacation. The remaining weeks - which were not all in a row, but spaced as one-week increments throughout the summer - they stayed home.

This summer (now 13 and 11 years old), we have a 2-week family vacation, each has 2 weeks of local activities plus one week of sleep-away camp and one week visiting grandparents. So that’s still 6 weeks of the summer filled; they’ll be home the remaining time. I’d be fine with them being home more if we didn’t have the activities lined up - we are having more trouble figuring out how to fit everything in and still leave them enough downtime!

[Anonymous]

Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9yo. We’ve left her 4 hours max. I wouldn’t do it on a daily basis for 3 hours all summer long though. Maybe have a sitter do 3 full days and 2 half days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.

This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's way too long. It's not that they wouldn't survive or couldn't be physically safe, but I have two boys too (older) and these are ages where they need to be busy and occupied. It is just asking for trouble to have them alone and bored for that long. They are prime ages to start exploring internet porn and other unsavory online things, and I think if you leave them with no structure for 3 hours/day you are likely to regret what happens. If it were just a week here or there, maybe, but this is not a solid summer plan.

Good points. they are pretty busy in the morning with swim and dive practice and that goes on for 6-7 weeks. My younger one is a kid who loved vegs out and watching TV while the older one needs to be on the go.

We will take a 2 week family vacation and there will be some shorter weeks with holidays thrown in there.

We'll definitely have a sitter this summer and consider what to do next year when kids are 14 and 11

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.

This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.

OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.

so at what age do yo leave kids home without a sitter in the summer?

[Anonymous]

How old is the sitter?

If I were the sitter I would not feel comfortable just leaving the two kids home on their own like that. If it were my teen who was the babysitter, I would not allow them to accept the job.

And to the pp that said "Make sure they know a neighbor likely to be home in case of trouble, but it’s perfectly safe"--get out of here with that.
It's not your neighbor's responsibility. If it's "perfectly safe" there is absolutely no need to ever involve a neighbor.