Spouse inherited $3 million

[Anonymous]

As someone who never thought they could spend $1000/night on a hotel room- I assure you it’s worth it.

We did it last year before omicron and it was amazing.

Treat yourself.

[Anonymous]

529 for grad school? Really? Gotta pay own way for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:529 for grad school? Really? Gotta pay own way for that.

Why burden your kid with loans & 6.5% interest payments to the government when you got $5m in the bank?

If they are smart enough to finish college and get into grad school, then it's money well-spent.

[Anonymous]

Immediately made me think of the Succession riff on $5M!

https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/dzaz1f/fives_a_nightmare_hbos_succession/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start taking better vacations.

+1, fly private!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.

Most people don’t want their money going to their son in law’s second wife’s kids rather than their own grandkids

But in this case, the people who left the money are already many years dead, so they won’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would start taking better vacations.

+1, fly private!

private? with 5M NW

LOL

add a zero..

[Anonymous]

I hope income producing prostitute becomes a forum meme.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you should talk to an advisor. You're talking a lot about "savings goals" but I get the feeling you mean that more in the sense of what percentage of your income you save, not how much money you have saved. I think you need to ask yourselves what you're saving for and why. Then you can actually get to a concrete number, which you've probably already met, and then think about how you want to spend the excess.

I personally also got an inheritance, not this big but over $1m, in my mid twenties. It allowed me to buy a house and go to grad school, decisions which altered my life. As a result, my goal is to give my kids each the same benefit, so I've put the rest of it into a trust for them. With luck, the market will help it grow back up to a solid inheritance for both of them, and they will also have the same opportunities in their 20s that I did. I felt uncomfortable with my grandparents' wealth ending with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.

DCUM is the aristocracy who are defined by their inheritances and expensive vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you should talk to an advisor. You're talking a lot about "savings goals" but I get the feeling you mean that more in the sense of what percentage of your income you save, not how much money you have saved. I think you need to ask yourselves what you're saving for and why. Then you can actually get to a concrete number, which you've probably already met, and then think about how you want to spend the excess.

I personally also got an inheritance, not this big but over $1m, in my mid twenties. It allowed me to buy a house and go to grad school, decisions which altered my life. As a result, my goal is to give my kids each the same benefit, so I've put the rest of it into a trust for them. With luck, the market will help it grow back up to a solid inheritance for both of them, and they will also have the same opportunities in their 20s that I did. I felt uncomfortable with my grandparents' wealth ending with me.

I love this suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.

DCUM is the aristocracy who are defined by their inheritances and expensive vacations.

+1

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, decide that every year you'll spend $X of it on something fun. Like $50k/year. It could be a fancy vacation, new car, or whatever you fancy.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the very solid comments here. I also did a double take at “income producing prostitutes.” Hilarious. I do like the idea of taking some set amount of money and deciding to spend it each year. We are financially conservative, although not for any particular reason. Like many, we have saved regularly and our investments have done well over the past two decades. We were unable to have additional children so that kept our expenses low. That said, we don’t deny ourselves anything. It would take some thought to spend an extra $50,000 a year. I think I’d like to put us on a waiting list for a new car. There are a few new electric cars coming out that interest us.

I know there are some software programs that model how much you can spend, I like to do my own research rather than hire help. My experience with hired financial advisors has not been great. Our estate documents will funnel this money to our child so that has been done. Spouse is already basically retired, working one or two days a week for pure pleasure.

[Anonymous]

For software, I like firecalc (free!). Posters here have others they also like.

I totally get the advisor thing having searched for an advice-only advisor quite hard last year and coming up empty. Fee-only is not the same thing; they usually want to manage your assets for around 1% a year, and I can do just fine on my own for that.

That said, I do not think it is too early to get tax and estate planning advice. Taxes get complicated as you approach retirement and need to factor in things like required minimum distributions. I have found it much harder to DIY tax planning, and mean to tend to this soon.