Spouse inherited $3 million

[Anonymous]

I’d retire today if I were your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.

I agree with you to an extent. I would comingle, and similarly, I'm not overly concerned about "my" assets after my death, even the ones I earned myself. Still, I told my husband that if I die early and he re-marries, he needs to get a prenup figured out to ensure our kid ends up with whats left of "my half" of our marital assets in the end, instead of a new wife and step kids. He's a really good person, and loves our kid, I trust him to honor that (and vice versa). I don't expect him to marry a gold digger, but money can do weird things to people. We talked through ways to do this via a trust & will, and it just is much simpler to trust the surviving spouse to act ethically. Not ironclad, but good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

Have you discussed this with an estate attorney? This isn't just about your strong marriage. What happens if your spouse passes before you, and you remarry someone with kids? If you don't comingle, the funds can be put into a trust that you can access for as long as you live and then transfer to your kids. If you don't, you'll have to figure this out in a pre-nup or in your will. Much easier to figure this out now by not comingling.

I commingled a smaller but six-figure inheritance some years ago without any hesitation. I don't really care what happens to the money if I'm dead; I didn't do a thing to earn it, my parents didn't earn it (it came from my grandparents), and my spouse knew and loved them, too, so why should I be the only person who gets any of it? If my grandparents wanted to make sure any and every dollar they left me went to my children and only my children, they'd have left it to my children in trust. They didn't. I understand there are logical reasons not to commingle assets like this, but people on here act like it's absolutely insane to even consider doing it. I really strongly disagree.

I agree with you to an extent. I would comingle, and similarly, I'm not overly concerned about "my" assets after my death, even the ones I earned myself. Still, I told my husband that if I die early and he re-marries, he needs to get a prenup figured out to ensure our kid ends up with whats left of "my half" of our marital assets in the end, instead of a new wife and step kids. He's a really good person, and loves our kid, I trust him to honor that (and vice versa). I don't expect him to marry a gold digger, but money can do weird things to people. We talked through ways to do this via a trust & will, and it just is much simpler to trust the surviving spouse to act ethically. Not ironclad, but good enough for me.

That was dumb. You could have put it in a revocable trust that turns into an irrevocable trust at your death, with your husband the beneficiary and your children the remaindermen at his death.

[Anonymous]

I would retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t retire early but also don’t stay in jobs you hate. Find a job you like even if it pays less.

THIS THIS THIS was my first thought.

But also, our NW is not $2 million to start with, lol, so a $3mm inheritance would really change our lives completely.

DH hates his job, which honestly doesn't pay much by DCUM standards ($105k). He could easily quit and get a job he loves related to his passion for $50-70k and actually... enjoy his life about 40% more. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Buy some incoming producing prostitutes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy some incoming producing prostitutes

Properties, not prostitutes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy some incoming producing prostitutes

Properties, not prostitutes

I just spit out my coffee! Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

I would not reduce savings - you get significant tax benefits from your savings - but I would use some of the inheritance to take nicer vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We discussed keeping the inheritance separate but spouse was adamant that we commingle it. We have a strong marriage and I think there is gratitude that I have been the primary wage earner for our entire marriage. That’s a good idea to pump up the 529 since our daughter has been talking about graduate school. She hasn’t decided but it would be good to begin funding that. We could always transfer it to a grandchild if necessary. If we were to take nicer vacations I would have to reduce savings. That would be hard for me but I guess our kid will only be with us a few more years so it’s probably worth it.

I appreciate the reassurance that early retirement is not the answer here. I didn’t think so. And I don’t really want to retire yet.

I would not reduce savings - you get significant tax benefits from your savings - but I would use some of the inheritance to take nicer vacations.

Adding on, make sure your entire portfolio - the inheritance and your savings - is properly diversified. As other have said, a visit to a fee only planner may be helpful. Though you may have a difficult time finding one who is well versed in income producing prostitutes.

[Anonymous]

I'd spend about 3% of the inheritance per year on whatever you wanted, including things like reducing hours at work, better vacations, more reliable cars, or expenses on upgrading to a single family home instead of your townhouse, etc.

The 3% number should roughly ensure that you don't blow it all during your lifetime but also allows you to enjoy some of it now. This is roughly what we do with my spouses's inheritance. We also bought a second home fully paid for and jointly titled, which gives me at least some protection as the spouse that has not earned as much during our marriage due to raising children and being a trailing spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd spend about 3% of the inheritance per year on whatever you wanted, including things like reducing hours at work, better vacations, more reliable cars, or expenses on upgrading to a single family home instead of your townhouse, etc.

The 3% number should roughly ensure that you don't blow it all during your lifetime but also allows you to enjoy some of it now. This is roughly what we do with my spouses's inheritance. We also bought a second home fully paid for and jointly titled, which gives me at least some protection as the spouse that has not earned as much during our marriage due to raising children and being a trailing spouse.

How does it give you some protection? If you divorce, the joint titling won't really matter. He should be able to trace the funds out and they'd belong to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would start taking better vacations.

This exactly.

THIS. Live your life now, not when you retire. Mainly because the time isn't guaranteed. You don't want to be frivolous and spend away this huge chunk of money, but honestly you sound financially very conservative. Which is great in a lot of ways. But now you do not need to be nearly so careful. Use the inheritance to enhance the life you are living, not horde for the future.

If you leave your DD with no college/grad school debt, pay for a hefty down payment and pad her early adult lifestyle, she will be WELL on her way to a healthy financial future. It's ok to loosen the belt and enjoy life NOW, not wait until 65.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would retire.

Me too. Though this works best if one spouse has a job that provides benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy some incoming producing prostitutes

Properties, not prostitutes

I just spit out my coffee! Lol!

Me too! Best morning dcum read in a while!!!!!