Serious question: premarital sex

[Anonymous]

My Dad's a doctor so he's very realistic about these things. He got me an implant before I went off to college. Of course that doesn't protect against STDs so you use condoms as well.

Knowing about birth control is important even if you wait until marriage, assuming you want to limit the number of children you have. Talk to your doctor about your best options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of daughters raising them WAY differently than I was.

OP, I also had NO idea what sex was or how babies were made. When I was maybe 12, we were on a big family vacation and I slept in a bottom bunk bed the that had a trundle mattress pull out next to it where my 11yo boy cousin slept. I sobbed and sobbed that whole night because I thought I was going to get pregnant because I was "sleeping with a boy". I'll probably get flack from sharing this story but it felt so traumatizing to young me. Looking back, I realize that my parents did me SUCH a horrible disservice.

I have two daughters now and even though it makes me fierce uncomfortable as a product of my upbringing, I've always used the correct names for body parts, openly answered all of their questions, and been an advocate for love and sex between two consenting adults. I've discussed masterbation with them and how it's normal and healthy to make yourself feel good. It makes me feel gross even to type this- that's how badly anti-sex I was conditioned. Determined to do much better by my daughters.

I wish you the best. Sex is normal and fun.

You are a prize, Mom! Really, really proud of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Double up on birth control.

Pill + condom
IUD + condom

Add in pulling out and you are virtually zero pregnancy chance.

And the technical term for 'pulling out'? Parenthood.

[Anonymous]

I only did anal until I was married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was too painful for me to get IUD before having a kid.

Doubled up until wanted kids.

How did you know if you didn’t get one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubled up on birth control until I got married. That takes the risk of pregnancy down to practically nil.

This. It really did give me peace of mind to be on the pill but also use condoms and my BF/later DH was fine with it too.

Plus, OP, if this is a relatively new relationship -- a PP above mentioned STDs. No one likes to think or talk about them; they're romance-killers as discussion topics, for sure. But right now, STD cases have spiked upward over the past two years; in fact in 2020 they hit a record high:
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/apr/12/us-sexually-transmitted-infections-record-2020
While a partner might say he doesn't have an STD, there are STDs with zero symptoms, and there are partners who just can't believe they would possibly have one. So a condom helps with that aspect as well.

Also: To be blunt, be straight in your own mind about whether you are going to be fine with using the morning after contraception pill (called Plan B) or getting an abortion, so you can move without hesitation if that is necessary.

OP, are you in a state where they are trying to restrict things like access to the morning after pill or "chemical abortion" pills? (The two are not the same thing.) Some states are now banning women from obtaining the abortion pills by mail. Are you concerned that if you get pregnant you cannot get to a state with safe abortions, or cannot get pills via the mail? I hope that's not weighing on your mind too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only did anal until I was married.

Sure. Sure you did. Betting that a man posted this.

Also, while it's unlikely to get pregnant from anal, it can happen. Fluids...flow. If you're only doing anal you still should keep the man wrapped up. For comfort, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad's a doctor so he's very realistic about these things. He got me an implant before I went off to college. Of course that doesn't protect against STDs so you use condoms as well.

Knowing about birth control is important even if you wait until marriage, assuming you want to limit the number of children you have. Talk to your doctor about your best options.

Good advice.

Also, another reason to talk about all the options available: BC pills, for some women, suppress libido. They did for me. The answer for some women is the lowest dose possible, but as one PP noted already, she got pregnant on the low-dose mini-pill. OP, don't fret about the pill reducing libido unless it happens -- it doesn't, not for everyone -- but if that is a result, talk about all the options.

[Anonymous]

Stick with hand and mouth stuff. You'll have more orgasms that way anyhow.

[Anonymous]

bbc opened me up to a whole new world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad's a doctor so he's very realistic about these things. He got me an implant before I went off to college. Of course that doesn't protect against STDs so you use condoms as well.

Knowing about birth control is important even if you wait until marriage, assuming you want to limit the number of children you have. Talk to your doctor about your best options.

Good advice.

Also, another reason to talk about all the options available: BC pills, for some women, suppress libido. They did for me. The answer for some women is the lowest dose possible, but as one PP noted already, she got pregnant on the low-dose mini-pill. OP, don't fret about the pill reducing libido unless it happens -- it doesn't, not for everyone -- but if that is a result, talk about all the options.

Going on NuvaRing helped me out a ton with heavy periods and the cyclical depression I got. For some women, BC is a lifesaver because it evens everything out.