Serious question: premarital sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you get over your fear of sex and trust BC? I otherwise planned on waiting until marriage. I come from a very religious family but there were several teen pregnancies.

not really sure how this works. If your family is serious about religious convictions, then how is it that the 'kids' are all screwing around? Typical modern conservative/religious right BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you get over your fear of sex and trust BC? I otherwise planned on waiting until marriage. I come from a very religious family but there were several teen pregnancies.

not really sure how this works. If your family is serious about religious convictions, then how is it that the 'kids' are all screwing around? Typical modern conservative/religious right BS.

OP here. Let's just say there would have been no way for me to go to my parents as a teenager to ask to go on BC. I had no idea what sex was or how babies were made until high school. Yes, they screw around. My sister had a kid at 21. I have a cousin who is pregnant with her 4th child at 27. Her sister had 2 kids by 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubled up on birth control until I got married. That takes the risk of pregnancy down to practically nil.

+1

[Anonymous]

Use a reliable form of birth control and also chart your cycle so that you both understand and know when you are ovulating/fertile so that you know when to be especially careful. Also read the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility, so you better understand your body and how pregnancy truly works.

[Anonymous]

Keep waiting. You’ve made it this far! There’s nothing to fear about sex when you find that person you’re ready to share your life with. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I’m not religious and am pro choice, but I knew if I got pregnant I would want to get married and have the baby. I made sure that I only had sex with men I was OK with marrying, and having a baby with. And before having sex with them, I had a conversation with each where he agreed he would marry me if we got pregnant. For birth control, I relied on condoms, and also skipped having sex about four or five days out of the month where I was most likely to get pregnant

[Anonymous]

Agree with all the posters saying to double up on BC, maximize on their effectiveness, and read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” (arguably using as a third method of BC.

I would highly recommend an IUS - there are ones that are designed for women who have never been pregnant. Back up with a barrier method, of which condoms will also protect partially against STIs. If you’re uncomfortable using an IUS, you could use the Pill, but strive for “perfect” use (taking pill at the same time each day, avoiding interactions, always have back up on hand, etc.

[Anonymous]

Birth control for her plus the use of condoms. On occasion we’d do it unprotected but even then, it was while she was on the pill.

Out of the 10 years we’ve been together, there may have been one instance where we thought she could be pregnant. Safe sex rocks!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you could also use some therapy. I don't think it's normal or healthy to be scared of premarital sex, or to not know where babies come from until high school. In all seriousness, life is much nicer when you don't carry guilt about something as basic as eating and peeing.

[Anonymous]

Get the HPV vaccine (available as a trio at CVS)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you could also use some therapy. I don't think it's normal or healthy to be scared of premarital sex, or to not know where babies come from until high school. In all seriousness, life is much nicer when you don't carry guilt about something as basic as eating and peeing.

+1 Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you could also use some therapy. I don't think it's normal or healthy to be scared of premarital sex, or to not know where babies come from until high school. In all seriousness, life is much nicer when you don't carry guilt about something as basic as eating and peeing.

+1 Amen.[/quote

Neither of you come from religious families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you get over your fear of sex and trust BC? I otherwise planned on waiting until marriage. I come from a very religious family but there were several teen pregnancies.

not really sure how this works. If your family is serious about religious convictions, then how is it that the 'kids' are all screwing around? Typical modern conservative/religious right BS.

OP here. Let's just say there would have been no way for me to go to my parents as a teenager to ask to go on BC. I had no idea what sex was or how babies were made until high school. Yes, they screw around. My sister had a kid at 21. I have a cousin who is pregnant with her 4th child at 27. Her sister had 2 kids by 24.

These aren't teenagers.

Anyway I come from a religious background too though not as restricted as yours as we were told about sex just that but was only for marriage and baby making. I did the whole True Love waits thing and had a promise ring etc

But I was not afraid of sex even at the point in my life where I wanted to wait for marriage.

There's plenty of resources out there for how to prevent a pregnancy though even with that things can go wrong.

You have to deal with the fear part. You have to determine what your values are when it comes to sex. From your posts it doesn't seem like you have done that yet.

The fear goes when you're living your own life your own way and not making decisions to please family or s boyfriend or to meet societal norms

[Anonymous]

It's seriously not hard to use a condom during sex. People make it sound difficult. It's not.

[Anonymous]

No PIV. Always was back door lovin.