Friend just told me her child is transgender

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is trans. When I told people, it was just to share information. I had a support system to vent to and share feelings with while he transitioned. I mostly told people so they wouldn't be lost when I said my son instead of my daughter, and so they could use his new name if they saw him. The best responses were along the lines of "thanks for letting me know. Please correct me if I mess up and use the wrong name or pronoun." I could tell it was awkward for some people to ask questions, but I was happy to answer any questions about the transition process. Many people don't know (or don't know they know) trans people, don't really think about it until someone they know transitions, and don't really know what resources are available to learn about it.

One of my dearest friends and my kid's friends become trans a few years ago. I have been openly supportive and I genuinely love the kid and the family, but let's also be clear: it's their experience that has radicalized me against children transitioning.

I wouldn't share that with the family. But the rapidity with which that kid was put on blockers, cross sex hormones at 15.... And the change in them.... I've seen a kid go from being fairly happy go lucky go withdrawn, depressed, anorexic, and completely obsessed with their appearance and presentation.

You might say that's just being a teen and perhaps it is. But the difference between my kid and their friend is astonishing... And my kid isn't popular or gender conforming. They just don't give a damn.

You probably don’t know all the details. I mean, I’m sure you think you do, but there’s no way you can. I’m sure some people thought we moved too quickly, but they don’t know about the years of therapy for anxiety and depression before coming out, then the year+ of therapy with a gender specialist before we did anything beyond changing hair and wardrobe. We researched everything, every step, and discussed the options with our child before coming to decisions and carrying them out. We didn’t advertise to friends and family, so I’m sure changes seemed sudden.

I think it’s unfair that you’re comparing their child to yours. It sounds like two different situations, plus they’re entirely different people with different personalities. The question is, are they happier now than if treatment had been withheld. You can’t know that, but the parents and child probably have a decent idea. My son still has anxiety and depression. The pandemic made that worse. He seems much less happy, not to mention happy go lucky, than his peers. But I don’t think I’d still have a living child if he hadn’t transitioned.

And one reason many trans people put so much consideration into their appearance is they’re judged so harshly for it.

I'm sorry for your family's struggle. It's not uncommon and it is unfortunate, and I'd agree, the pandemic didn't help.

However, you aren't my friend or their family, and I do know for a fact their child didn't have much oversight.

My child probably has shorter hair than yours. We just don't consider it to be something that has to do with their gender.

The fact that you’re suggesting trans kids are basing gender identity on their hairstyle says a lot about you. The only people I know who make comments about someone’s gender based on their hairstyles are ultra conservatives who make fun of guys who have hair past their collars and call them sissies and who call girls with short hair all sorts of names. My son is trans whether he has short or long hair. His hair is long right now, as a matter of fact. I’m sure your child’s hair is more about their preferences, personality, style, facial structure, and probably a lot of other personal choices rather than gender.

Also, I’m not sure why your friends choices make you opposed to all children transitioning. Just because they chose not to educate themselves about the process doesn’t mean everyone plays fast and loose with medical decisions for their kids. Decisions like that should be between the families and their doctors, not legislators, just like women’s health and treatment should be private and not decided by people who’ve never dealt with the issues first hand.

Unfortunately, this board is full of cishet people posting their opinions like this is the Republican transphobe discussion corner or something. They're against people transitioning as children because of the way some kid they know behaves around them now that they're older and on cross sex hormones. Unsaid is that they don't want adults to transition either. They don't think trans people are real and think that HRT should be banned and trans people should stay in the closet.

Not at all true.

I know you want to make this about some horrible conservatives and bless yourself for being more enlightened, but quite a few of us are rational enough to see a few things.

1.) Outside of your liberal love bubble, gay kids will actually be pushed toward converting their gender. Those conservatives you have so much, many would rather have a transdaughter than a gay son. Now they can.

2.) I don't have any issue with your daughter embracing her identity. I do have an issue with her puberty being suspended and her then being given estrogen before she's a legal adult. Why?

Because suspending puberty suspends brain development. Because you're doing these things to make her a more "convincing" girl, to make her conform to a bunch of regressive sex stereotypes... And the cost to her is actually her brain development, her fertility, and quite possibly her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. That's quite a lot to give up just because an eleven-year old doesn't want their voice to change.

3.) Nice how when I brought up a negative example, you just blamed the family for "not educating themselves enough." I mean, you're a person who hasn't looked at lupron side effects, or apparently even watched an episode of Jazz Jennings, but okay. Blaming the family *at all* is the wrong approach. This shouldn't be the wild west. Your kid's future happiness shouldn't entirely depend only on their parents being in a liberal, accepting bubble.

That's what I have an issue with when some people say they feel like a woman? You mean you feel like society's interpretation of a feminine girly makeup loving woman? Nobody has ever said they felt like a Roseanne Barr.

Oh well--OP just be as supportive as you need to be. It's not your child at the end of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is trans. When I told people, it was just to share information. I had a support system to vent to and share feelings with while he transitioned. I mostly told people so they wouldn't be lost when I said my son instead of my daughter, and so they could use his new name if they saw him. The best responses were along the lines of "thanks for letting me know. Please correct me if I mess up and use the wrong name or pronoun." I could tell it was awkward for some people to ask questions, but I was happy to answer any questions about the transition process. Many people don't know (or don't know they know) trans people, don't really think about it until someone they know transitions, and don't really know what resources are available to learn about it.

One of my dearest friends and my kid's friends become trans a few years ago. I have been openly supportive and I genuinely love the kid and the family, but let's also be clear: it's their experience that has radicalized me against children transitioning.

I wouldn't share that with the family. But the rapidity with which that kid was put on blockers, cross sex hormones at 15.... And the change in them.... I've seen a kid go from being fairly happy go lucky go withdrawn, depressed, anorexic, and completely obsessed with their appearance and presentation.

You might say that's just being a teen and perhaps it is. But the difference between my kid and their friend is astonishing... And my kid isn't popular or gender conforming. They just don't give a damn.

You probably don’t know all the details. I mean, I’m sure you think you do, but there’s no way you can. I’m sure some people thought we moved too quickly, but they don’t know about the years of therapy for anxiety and depression before coming out, then the year+ of therapy with a gender specialist before we did anything beyond changing hair and wardrobe. We researched everything, every step, and discussed the options with our child before coming to decisions and carrying them out. We didn’t advertise to friends and family, so I’m sure changes seemed sudden.

I think it’s unfair that you’re comparing their child to yours. It sounds like two different situations, plus they’re entirely different people with different personalities. The question is, are they happier now than if treatment had been withheld. You can’t know that, but the parents and child probably have a decent idea. My son still has anxiety and depression. The pandemic made that worse. He seems much less happy, not to mention happy go lucky, than his peers. But I don’t think I’d still have a living child if he hadn’t transitioned.

And one reason many trans people put so much consideration into their appearance is they’re judged so harshly for it.

I'm sorry for your family's struggle. It's not uncommon and it is unfortunate, and I'd agree, the pandemic didn't help.

However, you aren't my friend or their family, and I do know for a fact their child didn't have much oversight.

My child probably has shorter hair than yours. We just don't consider it to be something that has to do with their gender.

The fact that you’re suggesting trans kids are basing gender identity on their hairstyle says a lot about you. The only people I know who make comments about someone’s gender based on their hairstyles are ultra conservatives who make fun of guys who have hair past their collars and call them sissies and who call girls with short hair all sorts of names. My son is trans whether he has short or long hair. His hair is long right now, as a matter of fact. I’m sure your child’s hair is more about their preferences, personality, style, facial structure, and probably a lot of other personal choices rather than gender.

Also, I’m not sure why your friends choices make you opposed to all children transitioning. Just because they chose not to educate themselves about the process doesn’t mean everyone plays fast and loose with medical decisions for their kids. Decisions like that should be between the families and their doctors, not legislators, just like women’s health and treatment should be private and not decided by people who’ve never dealt with the issues first hand.

Unfortunately, this board is full of cishet people posting their opinions like this is the Republican transphobe discussion corner or something. They're against people transitioning as children because of the way some kid they know behaves around them now that they're older and on cross sex hormones. Unsaid is that they don't want adults to transition either. They don't think trans people are real and think that HRT should be banned and trans people should stay in the closet.

Not at all true.

I know you want to make this about some horrible conservatives and bless yourself for being more enlightened, but quite a few of us are rational enough to see a few things.

1.) Outside of your liberal love bubble, gay kids will actually be pushed toward converting their gender. Those conservatives you have so much, many would rather have a transdaughter than a gay son. Now they can.

2.) I don't have any issue with your daughter embracing her identity. I do have an issue with her puberty being suspended and her then being given estrogen before she's a legal adult. Why?

Because suspending puberty suspends brain development. Because you're doing these things to make her a more "convincing" girl, to make her conform to a bunch of regressive sex stereotypes... And the cost to her is actually her brain development, her fertility, and quite possibly her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. That's quite a lot to give up just because an eleven-year old doesn't want their voice to change.

3.) Nice how when I brought up a negative example, you just blamed the family for "not educating themselves enough." I mean, you're a person who hasn't looked at lupron side effects, or apparently even watched an episode of Jazz Jennings, but okay. Blaming the family *at all* is the wrong approach. This shouldn't be the wild west. Your kid's future happiness shouldn't entirely depend only on their parents being in a liberal, accepting bubble.

That's what I have an issue with when some people say they feel like a woman? You mean you feel like society's interpretation of a feminine girly makeup loving woman? Nobody has ever said they felt like a Roseanne Barr.

Oh well--OP just be as supportive as you need to be. It's not your child at the end of the day.

Where are you seeing this? Literally none of the transgender kids I know are trying to be extreme gender stereotypes. Maybe you need to meet more transgender people before you make generalizations like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is trans. When I told people, it was just to share information. I had a support system to vent to and share feelings with while he transitioned. I mostly told people so they wouldn't be lost when I said my son instead of my daughter, and so they could use his new name if they saw him. The best responses were along the lines of "thanks for letting me know. Please correct me if I mess up and use the wrong name or pronoun." I could tell it was awkward for some people to ask questions, but I was happy to answer any questions about the transition process. Many people don't know (or don't know they know) trans people, don't really think about it until someone they know transitions, and don't really know what resources are available to learn about it.

One of my dearest friends and my kid's friends become trans a few years ago. I have been openly supportive and I genuinely love the kid and the family, but let's also be clear: it's their experience that has radicalized me against children transitioning.

I wouldn't share that with the family. But the rapidity with which that kid was put on blockers, cross sex hormones at 15.... And the change in them.... I've seen a kid go from being fairly happy go lucky go withdrawn, depressed, anorexic, and completely obsessed with their appearance and presentation.

You might say that's just being a teen and perhaps it is. But the difference between my kid and their friend is astonishing... And my kid isn't popular or gender conforming. They just don't give a damn.

You probably don’t know all the details. I mean, I’m sure you think you do, but there’s no way you can. I’m sure some people thought we moved too quickly, but they don’t know about the years of therapy for anxiety and depression before coming out, then the year+ of therapy with a gender specialist before we did anything beyond changing hair and wardrobe. We researched everything, every step, and discussed the options with our child before coming to decisions and carrying them out. We didn’t advertise to friends and family, so I’m sure changes seemed sudden.

I think it’s unfair that you’re comparing their child to yours. It sounds like two different situations, plus they’re entirely different people with different personalities. The question is, are they happier now than if treatment had been withheld. You can’t know that, but the parents and child probably have a decent idea. My son still has anxiety and depression. The pandemic made that worse. He seems much less happy, not to mention happy go lucky, than his peers. But I don’t think I’d still have a living child if he hadn’t transitioned.

And one reason many trans people put so much consideration into their appearance is they’re judged so harshly for it.

I'm sorry for your family's struggle. It's not uncommon and it is unfortunate, and I'd agree, the pandemic didn't help.

However, you aren't my friend or their family, and I do know for a fact their child didn't have much oversight.

My child probably has shorter hair than yours. We just don't consider it to be something that has to do with their gender.

The fact that you’re suggesting trans kids are basing gender identity on their hairstyle says a lot about you. The only people I know who make comments about someone’s gender based on their hairstyles are ultra conservatives who make fun of guys who have hair past their collars and call them sissies and who call girls with short hair all sorts of names. My son is trans whether he has short or long hair. His hair is long right now, as a matter of fact. I’m sure your child’s hair is more about their preferences, personality, style, facial structure, and probably a lot of other personal choices rather than gender.

Also, I’m not sure why your friends choices make you opposed to all children transitioning. Just because they chose not to educate themselves about the process doesn’t mean everyone plays fast and loose with medical decisions for their kids. Decisions like that should be between the families and their doctors, not legislators, just like women’s health and treatment should be private and not decided by people who’ve never dealt with the issues first hand.

Unfortunately, this board is full of cishet people posting their opinions like this is the Republican transphobe discussion corner or something. They're against people transitioning as children because of the way some kid they know behaves around them now that they're older and on cross sex hormones. Unsaid is that they don't want adults to transition either. They don't think trans people are real and think that HRT should be banned and trans people should stay in the closet.

Not at all true.

I know you want to make this about some horrible conservatives and bless yourself for being more enlightened, but quite a few of us are rational enough to see a few things.

1.) Outside of your liberal love bubble, gay kids will actually be pushed toward converting their gender. Those conservatives you have so much, many would rather have a transdaughter than a gay son. Now they can.

2.) I don't have any issue with your daughter embracing her identity. I do have an issue with her puberty being suspended and her then being given estrogen before she's a legal adult. Why?

Because suspending puberty suspends brain development. Because you're doing these things to make her a more "convincing" girl, to make her conform to a bunch of regressive sex stereotypes... And the cost to her is actually her brain development, her fertility, and quite possibly her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. That's quite a lot to give up just because an eleven-year old doesn't want their voice to change.

3.) Nice how when I brought up a negative example, you just blamed the family for "not educating themselves enough." I mean, you're a person who hasn't looked at lupron side effects, or apparently even watched an episode of Jazz Jennings, but okay. Blaming the family *at all* is the wrong approach. This shouldn't be the wild west. Your kid's future happiness shouldn't entirely depend only on their parents being in a liberal, accepting bubble.

That's what I have an issue with when some people say they feel like a woman? You mean you feel like society's interpretation of a feminine girly makeup loving woman? Nobody has ever said they felt like a Roseanne Barr.

Oh well--OP just be as supportive as you need to be. It's not your child at the end of the day.

You seriously need to meet some transgender women. Transgender women range in a spectrum from very feminine to very masculine. Some consider themselves more butch women. Some never wear dresses or makeup or the the color pink. If you even see these women in your daily life, you probably just assume they're cis butch lesbians. Being trans isn't about falling into some societal norm. Transgender people are all over with gender presentation (femme, masculine, androgynous, etc) and sexuality (straight, bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc). You're commenting on a topic you really don't know very much about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is trans. When I told people, it was just to share information. I had a support system to vent to and share feelings with while he transitioned. I mostly told people so they wouldn't be lost when I said my son instead of my daughter, and so they could use his new name if they saw him. The best responses were along the lines of "thanks for letting me know. Please correct me if I mess up and use the wrong name or pronoun." I could tell it was awkward for some people to ask questions, but I was happy to answer any questions about the transition process. Many people don't know (or don't know they know) trans people, don't really think about it until someone they know transitions, and don't really know what resources are available to learn about it.

One of my dearest friends and my kid's friends become trans a few years ago. I have been openly supportive and I genuinely love the kid and the family, but let's also be clear: it's their experience that has radicalized me against children transitioning.

I wouldn't share that with the family. But the rapidity with which that kid was put on blockers, cross sex hormones at 15.... And the change in them.... I've seen a kid go from being fairly happy go lucky go withdrawn, depressed, anorexic, and completely obsessed with their appearance and presentation.

You might say that's just being a teen and perhaps it is. But the difference between my kid and their friend is astonishing... And my kid isn't popular or gender conforming. They just don't give a damn.

You probably don’t know all the details. I mean, I’m sure you think you do, but there’s no way you can. I’m sure some people thought we moved too quickly, but they don’t know about the years of therapy for anxiety and depression before coming out, then the year+ of therapy with a gender specialist before we did anything beyond changing hair and wardrobe. We researched everything, every step, and discussed the options with our child before coming to decisions and carrying them out. We didn’t advertise to friends and family, so I’m sure changes seemed sudden.

I think it’s unfair that you’re comparing their child to yours. It sounds like two different situations, plus they’re entirely different people with different personalities. The question is, are they happier now than if treatment had been withheld. You can’t know that, but the parents and child probably have a decent idea. My son still has anxiety and depression. The pandemic made that worse. He seems much less happy, not to mention happy go lucky, than his peers. But I don’t think I’d still have a living child if he hadn’t transitioned.

And one reason many trans people put so much consideration into their appearance is they’re judged so harshly for it.

I'm sorry for your family's struggle. It's not uncommon and it is unfortunate, and I'd agree, the pandemic didn't help.

However, you aren't my friend or their family, and I do know for a fact their child didn't have much oversight.

My child probably has shorter hair than yours. We just don't consider it to be something that has to do with their gender.

The fact that you’re suggesting trans kids are basing gender identity on their hairstyle says a lot about you. The only people I know who make comments about someone’s gender based on their hairstyles are ultra conservatives who make fun of guys who have hair past their collars and call them sissies and who call girls with short hair all sorts of names. My son is trans whether he has short or long hair. His hair is long right now, as a matter of fact. I’m sure your child’s hair is more about their preferences, personality, style, facial structure, and probably a lot of other personal choices rather than gender.

Also, I’m not sure why your friends choices make you opposed to all children transitioning. Just because they chose not to educate themselves about the process doesn’t mean everyone plays fast and loose with medical decisions for their kids. Decisions like that should be between the families and their doctors, not legislators, just like women’s health and treatment should be private and not decided by people who’ve never dealt with the issues first hand.

Unfortunately, this board is full of cishet people posting their opinions like this is the Republican transphobe discussion corner or something. They're against people transitioning as children because of the way some kid they know behaves around them now that they're older and on cross sex hormones. Unsaid is that they don't want adults to transition either. They don't think trans people are real and think that HRT should be banned and trans people should stay in the closet.

Not at all true.

I know you want to make this about some horrible conservatives and bless yourself for being more enlightened, but quite a few of us are rational enough to see a few things.

1.) Outside of your liberal love bubble, gay kids will actually be pushed toward converting their gender. Those conservatives you have so much, many would rather have a transdaughter than a gay son. Now they can.

2.) I don't have any issue with your daughter embracing her identity. I do have an issue with her puberty being suspended and her then being given estrogen before she's a legal adult. Why?

Because suspending puberty suspends brain development. Because you're doing these things to make her a more "convincing" girl, to make her conform to a bunch of regressive sex stereotypes... And the cost to her is actually her brain development, her fertility, and quite possibly her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. That's quite a lot to give up just because an eleven-year old doesn't want their voice to change.

3.) Nice how when I brought up a negative example, you just blamed the family for "not educating themselves enough." I mean, you're a person who hasn't looked at lupron side effects, or apparently even watched an episode of Jazz Jennings, but okay. Blaming the family *at all* is the wrong approach. This shouldn't be the wild west. Your kid's future happiness shouldn't entirely depend only on their parents being in a liberal, accepting bubble.

That's what I have an issue with when some people say they feel like a woman? You mean you feel like society's interpretation of a feminine girly makeup loving woman? Nobody has ever said they felt like a Roseanne Barr.

Oh well--OP just be as supportive as you need to be. It's not your child at the end of the day.

Where are you seeing this? Literally none of the transgender kids I know are trying to be extreme gender stereotypes. Maybe you need to meet more transgender people before you make generalizations like this.

Well, being that the new definitions of "man" and "woman" are nothing but stereotypes, I find this hard to believe. Ask any young person why they transition and it's always, 100% stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is trans. When I told people, it was just to share information. I had a support system to vent to and share feelings with while he transitioned. I mostly told people so they wouldn't be lost when I said my son instead of my daughter, and so they could use his new name if they saw him. The best responses were along the lines of "thanks for letting me know. Please correct me if I mess up and use the wrong name or pronoun." I could tell it was awkward for some people to ask questions, but I was happy to answer any questions about the transition process. Many people don't know (or don't know they know) trans people, don't really think about it until someone they know transitions, and don't really know what resources are available to learn about it.

One of my dearest friends and my kid's friends become trans a few years ago. I have been openly supportive and I genuinely love the kid and the family, but let's also be clear: it's their experience that has radicalized me against children transitioning.

I wouldn't share that with the family. But the rapidity with which that kid was put on blockers, cross sex hormones at 15.... And the change in them.... I've seen a kid go from being fairly happy go lucky go withdrawn, depressed, anorexic, and completely obsessed with their appearance and presentation.

You might say that's just being a teen and perhaps it is. But the difference between my kid and their friend is astonishing... And my kid isn't popular or gender conforming. They just don't give a damn.

You probably don’t know all the details. I mean, I’m sure you think you do, but there’s no way you can. I’m sure some people thought we moved too quickly, but they don’t know about the years of therapy for anxiety and depression before coming out, then the year+ of therapy with a gender specialist before we did anything beyond changing hair and wardrobe. We researched everything, every step, and discussed the options with our child before coming to decisions and carrying them out. We didn’t advertise to friends and family, so I’m sure changes seemed sudden.

I think it’s unfair that you’re comparing their child to yours. It sounds like two different situations, plus they’re entirely different people with different personalities. The question is, are they happier now than if treatment had been withheld. You can’t know that, but the parents and child probably have a decent idea. My son still has anxiety and depression. The pandemic made that worse. He seems much less happy, not to mention happy go lucky, than his peers. But I don’t think I’d still have a living child if he hadn’t transitioned.

And one reason many trans people put so much consideration into their appearance is they’re judged so harshly for it.

I'm sorry for your family's struggle. It's not uncommon and it is unfortunate, and I'd agree, the pandemic didn't help.

However, you aren't my friend or their family, and I do know for a fact their child didn't have much oversight.

My child probably has shorter hair than yours. We just don't consider it to be something that has to do with their gender.

The fact that you’re suggesting trans kids are basing gender identity on their hairstyle says a lot about you. The only people I know who make comments about someone’s gender based on their hairstyles are ultra conservatives who make fun of guys who have hair past their collars and call them sissies and who call girls with short hair all sorts of names. My son is trans whether he has short or long hair. His hair is long right now, as a matter of fact. I’m sure your child’s hair is more about their preferences, personality, style, facial structure, and probably a lot of other personal choices rather than gender.

Also, I’m not sure why your friends choices make you opposed to all children transitioning. Just because they chose not to educate themselves about the process doesn’t mean everyone plays fast and loose with medical decisions for their kids. Decisions like that should be between the families and their doctors, not legislators, just like women’s health and treatment should be private and not decided by people who’ve never dealt with the issues first hand.

Unfortunately, this board is full of cishet people posting their opinions like this is the Republican transphobe discussion corner or something. They're against people transitioning as children because of the way some kid they know behaves around them now that they're older and on cross sex hormones. Unsaid is that they don't want adults to transition either. They don't think trans people are real and think that HRT should be banned and trans people should stay in the closet.

Not at all true.

I know you want to make this about some horrible conservatives and bless yourself for being more enlightened, but quite a few of us are rational enough to see a few things.

1.) Outside of your liberal love bubble, gay kids will actually be pushed toward converting their gender. Those conservatives you have so much, many would rather have a transdaughter than a gay son. Now they can.

2.) I don't have any issue with your daughter embracing her identity. I do have an issue with her puberty being suspended and her then being given estrogen before she's a legal adult. Why?

Because suspending puberty suspends brain development. Because you're doing these things to make her a more "convincing" girl, to make her conform to a bunch of regressive sex stereotypes... And the cost to her is actually her brain development, her fertility, and quite possibly her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. That's quite a lot to give up just because an eleven-year old doesn't want their voice to change.

3.) Nice how when I brought up a negative example, you just blamed the family for "not educating themselves enough." I mean, you're a person who hasn't looked at lupron side effects, or apparently even watched an episode of Jazz Jennings, but okay. Blaming the family *at all* is the wrong approach. This shouldn't be the wild west. Your kid's future happiness shouldn't entirely depend only on their parents being in a liberal, accepting bubble.

That's what I have an issue with when some people say they feel like a woman? You mean you feel like society's interpretation of a feminine girly makeup loving woman? Nobody has ever said they felt like a Roseanne Barr.

Oh well--OP just be as supportive as you need to be. It's not your child at the end of the day.

You seriously need to meet some transgender women. Transgender women range in a spectrum from very feminine to very masculine. Some consider themselves more butch women. Some never wear dresses or makeup or the the color pink. If you even see these women in your daily life, you probably just assume they're cis butch lesbians. Being trans isn't about falling into some societal norm. Transgender people are all over with gender presentation (femme, masculine, androgynous, etc) and sexuality (straight, bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc). You're commenting on a topic you really don't know very much about.

+1

It’s not about “stereotypes”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her child is now living as a female and has a new name. I was shocked but tried to act like it was not a big deal. I was just wondering what the proper response is.

What state and decade are you living in?

To be "shocked" by finding out a kid is trans seems like you're living in the 1980s. And maybe in Texas or Missouri.

I have a trans friend who "came out" 30 years ago. It's NBD. My friend is exactly the same person with a different name and look.

My child's best friend came out as trans in 8th grade. Again, NBD. The kid has a new name and look. Same kid. She was always trans, but we didn't know it.

Two kids at my child's private school came out as trans in middle school. NBD.

An old friend's daughter came out as trans in high school.

In the 1980s, these kids had to hide, but now they don't, so that's great. We are moving forward as a society.