If you are Wealthy and in MCPS, what made you decide to stay in public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another private lifer here (well-regarded DMV privates). I always assumed I'd send my kids to private too, as I had good experiences and they prepared me well for college, etc.

When our oldest was headed to K, DH (an MCPS grad, and also well prepared and successful) really wanted to at least give our local ES a shot. I knew our ES had a good reputation and so I figured one year of K in public wouldn't hurt, but I still expected to move to private for first grade.

That kid is now in 5th grade and still in public. Because our MCPS elementary is AMAZING. Small class sizes (18-24), wonderful teachers and admin, and fantastic community. My kids are thriving and, academically, are way ahead of where I was at their age in private and where my sister's kids (in a MoCo private) are now. Especially with respect to math and science, which, I see now, were always weaknesses at my private schools. I mean, if I was building my ideal private school, it would be our ES, but with a newer building. We have not had a single bad teacher and we've had several who have blown me away. Principal is excellent. They're SO helpful with one of my kids who has some mild, non-academic special needs. Their classmates are smart and largely well-behaved. Parents are involved. There are lots of extracurricular options.

Also, I'm loving that all their friends live in the same neighborhood. Growing up in privates, my classmates were from all over, and we had to drive to see anyone. My kids can hop on a bike, run across the street, etc., and see friends. It makes for easy, spontaneous get-togethers and really builds a sense of neighborhood community that I never had growing up.

Obviously, we're still at ES. Always possible we'll reassess for MS or HS dependent on each kid. I think one of my kids may have the potential to be overwhelmed by the size of MS/HS. If that turns out to be the case, we'll switch that one to private.

But in the meantime, we haven't switched, because we simply have no need to. I'm delighted with our ES and while I'm sure private would be good too, there's absolutely no reason for us to spend money on something we are currently getting for free.

In general a low poverty, low ESL MCPS elementary will be pretty similar to the nurturing private school experience with only slightly larger classes and no handwriting/cursive instruction but more tech.

Middle school will bring together larger populations of kids, and our kid was bored out of their mind as teachers spent all their time with struggling kids and disobedience & disruptions.

Yes. But if your kid is in all GT classes they won’t deal with those disruptive kids.

Most schools are eliminating pull out GT courses, to a push in model to promote equity.

Also, GT kind of stops in high school

Oh wow. We’re in a Howard County middle school and they have pull out GT classes. I can’t imagine anything else for my kid or we would be going private!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We actually put our kid in a highly regarded private during COVID. The academics are just simply not better than MCPS and it is hard to differentiate for math in some private schools due to size. There is also an incentive to overlook bad behavior because the school relies on tuition. Also, my kid consistently scored higher on tests and assignments than his peers, which we believe is largely based upon the foundation he received in MCPS. Plus, the friend thing - I loved him having neighborhood friends and being able to have impromptu meetups and pool time. Private school makes that hard and the longer we keep him in the private school environment, those good friendships will naturally fade. So we are going back to MCPS.

Haha, you think public schools kids are better behaved? The level of disruption to get expelled is very high. Don’t you remember public high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another private lifer here (well-regarded DMV privates). I always assumed I'd send my kids to private too, as I had good experiences and they prepared me well for college, etc.

When our oldest was headed to K, DH (an MCPS grad, and also well prepared and successful) really wanted to at least give our local ES a shot. I knew our ES had a good reputation and so I figured one year of K in public wouldn't hurt, but I still expected to move to private for first grade.

That kid is now in 5th grade and still in public. Because our MCPS elementary is AMAZING. Small class sizes (18-24), wonderful teachers and admin, and fantastic community. My kids are thriving and, academically, are way ahead of where I was at their age in private and where my sister's kids (in a MoCo private) are now. Especially with respect to math and science, which, I see now, were always weaknesses at my private schools. I mean, if I was building my ideal private school, it would be our ES, but with a newer building. We have not had a single bad teacher and we've had several who have blown me away. Principal is excellent. They're SO helpful with one of my kids who has some mild, non-academic special needs. Their classmates are smart and largely well-behaved. Parents are involved. There are lots of extracurricular options.

Also, I'm loving that all their friends live in the same neighborhood. Growing up in privates, my classmates were from all over, and we had to drive to see anyone. My kids can hop on a bike, run across the street, etc., and see friends. It makes for easy, spontaneous get-togethers and really builds a sense of neighborhood community that I never had growing up.

Obviously, we're still at ES. Always possible we'll reassess for MS or HS dependent on each kid. I think one of my kids may have the potential to be overwhelmed by the size of MS/HS. If that turns out to be the case, we'll switch that one to private.

But in the meantime, we haven't switched, because we simply have no need to. I'm delighted with our ES and while I'm sure private would be good too, there's absolutely no reason for us to spend money on something we are currently getting for free.

In general a low poverty, low ESL MCPS elementary will be pretty similar to the nurturing private school experience with only slightly larger classes and no handwriting/cursive instruction but more tech.

Middle school will bring together larger populations of kids, and our kid was bored out of their mind as teachers spent all their time with struggling kids and disobedience & disruptions.

Yes. But if your kid is in all GT classes they won’t deal with those disruptive kids.

Most schools are eliminating pull out GT courses, to a push in model to promote equity.

Also, GT kind of stops in high school

Oh wow. We’re in a Howard County middle school and they have pull out GT classes. I can’t imagine anything else for my kid or we would be going private!

You should be mindful if they change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

DP.. oh please... I went to a "rough" HS and knew people who got pregnant in HS, did drugs, etc We hung out together sometimes. But, I went onto college, and started making six figures by 30, back in the 90s.

Association in and of itself doesn't mean much.

I'm sure there are private school kids who end up on drugs and in expensive rehabs, get pregnant, and have their parents pay for their abortion. Do the kids who associate with "those" private school kids end up in rehab, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

I think I saw that movie in driver's ed class. It was called scared straight right? LOLOLZ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

So then you agree that public school can be an extremely unforgiving environment for people that make mistakes and have imperfect lives that can severely compromise their future? Because that’s what it seems like you’re saying.

Otherwise, your response is quite arrogant and exemplary of survivorship bias. It didn’t happen to you because you were a good kid from a good family eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

I went to a high-school with 2500 kids. You could pretty much find anything there as you'd expect at a school that size. I knew who the burnouts were but they weren't in my classes and that wasn't my scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

So then you agree that public school can be an extremely unforgiving environment for people that make mistakes and have imperfect lives that can severely compromise their future? Because that’s what it seems like you’re saying.

Otherwise, your response is quite arrogant and exemplary of survivorship bias. It didn’t happen to you because you were a good kid from a good family eh?

DP.. you missed the plot.

Just because you go to private school doesn't mean you won't get involved with kids who do drugs. As private school parents like to boast, there are many kids at privates who are there via financial aid. I assume that means that the parents don't have a ton of wealth, so if that kid gets in with a bad crowd and goes down that rabbit hole, that kid won't have the parent wealth to get them out of trouble.

Wealthy buys privilege and life is more forgiving. People who don't come from wealth, irrespective of what type of school they go to, don't have that privilege where life is more forgiving.

Wealthy parents can buy high priced lawyers who can sweep little Johnny's bad behavior under the rug; non wealthy people, again, irrespective of private school or public school, don't have the means to do that. The affluenza effect.

This is about wealth, not about whether being in private school means you are less likely to get into trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

I think I saw that movie in driver's ed class. It was called scared straight right? LOLOLZ

It was the ABC after school special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

I'm a PP who went to privates and has kids in MCPS elementary now. Yes, drugs, sex, and bad decisions were found all around in the private schools, and some kids certainly screwed up their lives.

In some ways, I think the privates could be worse. The public school kids I knew smoked weed or drank beer, but I had private school friends who did cocaine, heroin, crystal meth, ecstasy, shrooms, and acid and who carried water bottles filled with vodka to class.

Basically, the options to eff up are abundant in both private and public, and I don't think private offers any special insulation from those temptations. There are lots of reasons to go private in MS/HS, but I wouldn't count that as one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

DP.. oh please... I went to a "rough" HS and knew people who got pregnant in HS, did drugs, etc We hung out together sometimes. But, I went onto college, and started making six figures by 30, back in the 90s.

Association in and of itself doesn't mean much.

I'm sure there are private school kids who end up on drugs and in expensive rehabs, get pregnant, and have their parents pay for their abortion. Do the kids who associate with "those" private school kids end up in rehab, too?

My point was the PP who said their UMC would never cross paths with the “prison” crowd. They take classes together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I worked at a private school and developed a major allergy to entitled rich people.

Also: my kids like instrumental music and math, and generally dislike sports. They don’t want to become lawyers or investment bankers.

I’m confused by this. The private school I went to, and the one my daughter goes to, have terrific instrumental music and math programs, in addition to sports.

Not all do and with tuition cost, they all should but…

Ok, but just like there are good and bad public schools, there are good and bad private schools. No need to generalize.

Ok, smartass, if you look at the poster before, she said her private was and good therefore she was confused. She generalized and I countered. Don’t be stupid again and read all that is relevant.

Wow, you need to calm down.

You need to not be stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a private school lifer and hated it.

Would have actually had access to better colleges if I had attended the local public schools, with more STEM classes and more activities, and without the long bus ride.

I also think it's important to interact with different people; my lilly white and Asian private school with mostly UMC families didn't prepare me appropriately for life.

Yet you self-affiliate as wealthy, indicating that it did prepare you to be a successful contributor to society.

I think you also misunderstand how college access in public school works. Yes, kids can go to excellent colleges, particularly STEM. Kids also go to substantially worse colleges in large numbers, community college and even at “W” schools a lot of kids don’t go to college at all. These are all equal options and actually when you understand how exceptional the public students are that make it to top colleges, you realize that it’s less likely your child will be one of them.

Just be forewarned now, in public school you are in your own and there are big, potentially life-altering consequences for relatively small mistakes. That’s what growing up poor and being a public school lifer taught me.

To each their own, but just be prepared that the safety net is gone and there is a bottom that I don’t think you contemplate existing.

Dp. Those were ominous statements. Can you elaborate, please?

MCPS is trying to change this dynamic, but stupid mistakes in public school can easily leave students with criminal records. At private school, you might get expelled but unless kids do something with irreparable harm they are unlikely to call the police.

In public school, parents can be surprised by C and D grades at the end of the marking period if kids are telling you everything is fine. One semester with a 2.0 will clearly have a dramatic impact on college applications. Alternatively, private schools monitor performance closely and will intervene quickly for even just an abnormally poor result on one test.

And just to be real for a moment, kids can get lost and I’ve seen it. Fall in with the “wrong crowd” (like not just suburban privileged bad, but legitimately will end up in prison bad) and it takes a long time to deprogram that mindset. While private is not perfect and there are lots of issues, I would never believe that the bottom that private school kids could fall through would be anything close to what I’ve seen at the school I went to. I feel a great degree of sadness for what happened to some of the people I went to school with.

I don’t know about this. I have two high schoolers and know a lot of upper middle class kids in what you would probably consider “bad” MCPS high school, and literally there is zero overlap between “UMC going to college” kids and “headed to prison” kids. Like, they never even cross paths. My nerdy clarinet player is not getting invited to go rob people.

You are so naive. I was valedictorian, and my academic peer made friends with the druggies in an elective art class and it was all downhill from there. I went to an Ivy League and have a typical DC life, she ended up as a vet tech at petsmart. Still a nice person and not in prison, but as a parent not the life I want for my children.

This is very adolescent logic. Some bad person made her a “druggie” and suddenly it was all over? So, this person had all the same money and family support and mental health as you, and just happened to sit next to a bad kid and her life went boom? This is how Nancy Reagan thought drugs work, but not how they really work. Your friend was either poorer than you or more despairing with less family support.

Seriously. I had friends in high school who did a ton of drugs — pot, acid, shrooms … I didn’t take any drugs at all. The kids who did tended to have other things going on, including really acrimonious divorces and things like that.

So then you agree that public school can be an extremely unforgiving environment for people that make mistakes and have imperfect lives that can severely compromise their future? Because that’s what it seems like you’re saying.

Otherwise, your response is quite arrogant and exemplary of survivorship bias. It didn’t happen to you because you were a good kid from a good family eh?

DP.. you missed the plot.

Just because you go to private school doesn't mean you won't get involved with kids who do drugs. As private school parents like to boast, there are many kids at privates who are there via financial aid. I assume that means that the parents don't have a ton of wealth, so if that kid gets in with a bad crowd and goes down that rabbit hole, that kid won't have the parent wealth to get them out of trouble.

Wealthy buys privilege and life is more forgiving. People who don't come from wealth, irrespective of what type of school they go to, don't have that privilege where life is more forgiving.

Wealthy parents can buy high priced lawyers who can sweep little Johnny's bad behavior under the rug; non wealthy people, again, irrespective of private school or public school, don't have the means to do that. The affluenza effect.

This is about wealth, not about whether being in private school means you are less likely to get into trouble.

You live an oddly sheltered life with a lot of misperceptions about how people other than you live and what criminal defense lawyers are capable of achieving. Let me give you a quick explainer if the criminal justice system. If you’ve been arrested you’re going to get charged 99.9% of the time and if you get charged the only thing a good lawyer is going to get you is a plea to a lesser charge. An as a minor all of that is irrelevant. Once you enter the criminal justice system your life is going to changed.