Embarrassed about the doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys had female pediatricians many times. The exam is just part of the exam. Testicles are no different than ears to a doctor. Explain it like that, OP. It really is about ten seconds, assuming everything is ok. Sometime we have to do things that make us uncomfortable. I’m not a fan of mammograms, but I get one yearly.

Step out of the room during the physical examination. It’s more comfortable for your son and it gives him time to ask the doctor questions he might not be comfortable asking you.

I do know that different doctors offices have different policies on parents staying in the room though. It's a liability thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a problem with your daughter, not your son. She sounds like a real jerk. Do better, OP.

What is wrong with you? Do better, OP? Your kids don't tease each other? Of course, it's OP's job to intervene but no (non abusive) parent anywhere can "do better" enough to make siblings never tease each other. Good grief. (Also, if your kids don't tease each other either they are terrified of you or weird)

[Anonymous]

Tell your son too bad. It's like many things we do for our health, unpeasant but necessary. Why is he so hung up on his genitals, I'd wonder. Is your family particularly modest or prudish? Are they oddly shaped? Is he questioning his gender? Has he been abused? Maybe none of these but, I'd wonder why he was so sensitive about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a problem with your daughter, not your son. She sounds like a real jerk. Do better, OP.

What is wrong with you? Do better, OP? Your kids don't tease each other? Of course, it's OP's job to intervene but no (non abusive) parent anywhere can "do better" enough to make siblings never tease each other. Good grief. (Also, if your kids don't tease each other either they are terrified of you or weird)

Thank you, I was pretty shocked at how aggressively some people were responding to that. She was just kidding around.

Anonymous wrote:Tell your son too bad. It's like many things we do for our health, unpleasant but necessary. Why is he so hung up on his genitals, I'd wonder. Is your family particularly modest or prudish? Are they oddly shaped? Is he questioning his gender? Has he been abused? Maybe none of these but, I'd wonder why he was so sensitive about it.

We're certainly not the most modest family in the world or anything, my son and daughter share a bathroom, so he's used to being barged in on when she needs to brush her teeth before school and what not. He's a bit of a late bloomer though, and he's uncut. I know both of those things can easily lead to self-consciousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a female pediatrician, it’s rare that a male or female teen refuses the genital exam. Once the parent is out of the room for the exam, I explain exactly what I’m doing and why. If someone is uncomfortable, I totally respect that (and just document that in the chart). No big deal.

Is embarrassment/erections common?

No, pretty rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new practice. Your sons health depends on it.

He doesn't even mention that it being a female doctor is what bothers him.

Also, even if it was, I think he can handle the 30 seconds it takes her to check him out. If I could survive having a male gyno all throughout high school, I think he can survive this.

Right. Teens always express themselves perfectly and clearly articulate their problems and fears and tell their parents all of them while sharing precisely how they feel.

If you think he “can handle the 30 seconds,” then you really aren’t listening to him. You do not know if the doctor’s gender matters or not to him. Why would he tell you when you are making excuses for why you can’t find a new doctor?

If my kid didn’t like a doctor, we’d be out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why everyone here is so hung up on the issue being that it's a female doctor when that's not the complaint he made. I doubt most boys care all that much if it's a male or female doctor and I'm sure that many would even prefer a female doctor.

Omg. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, is there a trusted man who can talk to your son about this? Father or uncle or someone like that? It might have more meaning to your son to hear from someone who’s been there that it sucks but doesn’t hurt and is over quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, is there a trusted man who can talk to your son about this? Father or uncle or someone like that? It might have more meaning to your son to hear from someone who’s been there that it sucks but doesn’t hurt and is over quickly.

Not really, no.

[Anonymous]

Take him to a man. This is a form of abuse in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused. Hasn’t he been going to the doctors every year and they check down there? I mean, I have three boys and across their various ages, they are checked down there. It should be natural that the doctor does it. Why all of a sudden?

He’s probably afraid of popping a boner.

[Anonymous]

OP things are inconvenient but I do not think finding your kid a male doctor is too much to ask. If it’s a physical, it probably doesn’t have to be a pediatrician even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why everyone here is so hung up on the issue being that it's a female doctor when that's not the complaint he made. I doubt most boys care all that much if it's a male or female doctor and I'm sure that many would even prefer a female doctor.

This. My son is 12 and I ask him every year if he'd rather switch to a male doctor in the practice and he repeatedly (including last month) has said he is comfortable with the female doctor he usually sees and the female NP he sees when his doctor is not available.

He has yet to have to cough check for a hernia or whatever it is. It is literally a quick glance, not touching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why everyone here is so hung up on the issue being that it's a female doctor when that's not the complaint he made. I doubt most boys care all that much if it's a male or female doctor and I'm sure that many would even prefer a female doctor.

This. My son is 12 and I ask him every year if he'd rather switch to a male doctor in the practice and he repeatedly (including last month) has said he is comfortable with the female doctor he usually sees and the female NP he sees when his doctor is not available.

He has yet to have to cough check for a hernia or whatever it is. It is literally a quick glance, not touching.

They have to look if they descended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take him to a man. This is a form of abuse in my opinion.

Abuse???? Are you serious?