what college emgaged your shy/homebody/introverted kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Why is Michigan almost always brought into the conversation when a negative comment is raised about large public universities? Michigan is not Texas. I suggest you leave your advise for what you know, and not what you suspect."


Well an earlier poster described a negative report from MICHIGAN. Their experiences are just as valid as yours. Sorry if it does not comport with what you believe/want to hear.

Just perused this thread. Which poster mentioned anything about Michigan, other than yourself. I did read something about Maryland.

OMG.

Can't you move on with your life?

I am NOT one of the TWO people who mentioned Michigan earlier in this thread today.

NOR, am I going to find the time stamps on their posts and report them to you for validation.

If you are so obsessed with defending Michigan's honor, learn to read more carefully!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is shy and a mama's boy. He went to Stanford. His strategy was to let the extroverted kids pull him into their orbit, and he dipped a toe in until he found the kids he liked, and then made friends with them. He also found study groups to be a great way to make friends.

haha this is a good point, my DS who i wrote about above, said the one thing he regrets is that while he has a great roommate and they are best friends, he wishes he was rooming with someone a bit more outgoing who would have pushed him to do more. He and his roommate are basically twins and in retrospect, he thinks he'd have more friends if he was with someone who was more gregarious. Something to keep i mind in roommate selection.

Extroverts can't always room with introverts, and vice versa - they might annoy each other more than anything, and the extrovert doesn't always want to have to pull another kid out of their shell. I would consider sleep habits before anything, frankly. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My question isn’t so much about making friends (although I hope for that, too, of course!), but I’d love for him to try things of interest or possible
interest like for random examples- model UN club, intramural softball, campus radio station, volunteer tutoring, etc. I’m not trying to remake him, but am a believer that you get more out of life being part of a community than an island. He also needs to start exploring interests to spark potential careers/fields of
study. Hopefully someone will respond with campus environments that inspired their kids to try something new or get out of their shell a little.

Not to be argumentative, but if you can't get him to do those things while he's a kid living in your house, how would a college get him to do them?

I hope all our kids come out of their shells more in college, but I think the drive probably has to come with age or maturity or greater confidence from within.

Because it's college. Our introverted, would rather stay at home kid just finished his first semester at JMU after being at home during the pandemic for 15 months (no in-person school). We were concerned as a big school was not what we picture for him. But being there and knowing you have to get out or be stuck in a small dorm room really worked for him. He has taken the initiative and joined things and made friends, and some moves have been surprising (like going to church...we are church members but we didn't go in college). It's a different time and they push past.

OP: He will surprise you! I don't think it's a particular school. We did not see him at JMU, but he's happy. He avoids the heavy partiers and is looking into club softball and other groups. He still likes his alone time and playing video games with old friends. He paired with a roommate that is also quiet and likes his alone time--that has really worked for them both.

[Anonymous]

+1 for looking at schools with house systems. My DD is the female version of your DS and has thrived in her house system school. She has the most wonderful group of housed-based friends and they go to the Resident Dean events together -- events that are put together by someone else so easy to attend, no planning involved. Depending on your DS's stats, look at Rice, UChicago, Bowles Hall at Berkeley, Michigan's residential college, or public universities with "special interest housing" like UMD or William & Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 for looking at schools with house systems. My DD is the female version of your DS and has thrived in her house system school. She has the most wonderful group of housed-based friends and they go to the Resident Dean events together -- events that are put together by someone else so easy to attend, no planning involved. Depending on your DS's stats, look at Rice, UChicago, Bowles Hall at Berkeley, Michigan's residential college, or public universities with "special interest housing" like UMD or William & Mary.

Not OP but could you say which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My question isn’t so much about making friends (although I hope for that, too, of course!), but I’d love for him to try things of interest or possible
interest like for random examples- model UN club, intramural softball, campus radio station, volunteer tutoring, etc. I’m not trying to remake him, but am a believer that you get more out of life being part of a community than an island. He also needs to start exploring interests to spark potential careers/fields of
study. Hopefully someone will respond with campus environments that inspired their kids to try something new or get out of their shell a little.

I think you need to back off. He will find his way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 for looking at schools with house systems. My DD is the female version of your DS and has thrived in her house system school. She has the most wonderful group of housed-based friends and they go to the Resident Dean events together -- events that are put together by someone else so easy to attend, no planning involved. Depending on your DS's stats, look at Rice, UChicago, Bowles Hall at Berkeley, Michigan's residential college, or public universities with "special interest housing" like UMD or William & Mary.

Not OP but could you say which school?

My DC is at one of these and has at least one friend at each of the others mentioned. All are happy with their choices notwithstanding COVID hiccups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 for looking at schools with house systems. My DD is the female version of your DS and has thrived in her house system school. She has the most wonderful group of housed-based friends and they go to the Resident Dean events together -- events that are put together by someone else so easy to attend, no planning involved. Depending on your DS's stats, look at Rice, UChicago, Bowles Hall at Berkeley, Michigan's residential college, or public universities with "special interest housing" like UMD or William & Mary.

Not OP but could you say which school?

My DC is at one of these and has at least one friend at each of the others mentioned. All are happy with their choices notwithstanding COVID hiccups.

I should also say that my DC (and friends) all applied to nearly all of these schools bc of the residential housing opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My question isn’t so much about making friends (although I hope for that, too, of course!), but I’d love for him to try things of interest or possible
interest like for random examples- model UN club, intramural softball, campus radio station, volunteer tutoring, etc. I’m not trying to remake him, but am a believer that you get more out of life being part of a community than an island. He also needs to start exploring interests to spark potential careers/fields of
study. Hopefully someone will respond with campus environments that inspired their kids to try something new or get out of their shell a little.

I think you need to back off. He will find his way.

If the only reason you are coming on here is to say that the parent should back off, then why are you on here? Shouldn't you take your own advice and back off if college choices aren't in the purview of the parent? I mean really. Either you are in or you are out. I vote out.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid who struggles socially to connect. We looked for colleges which have inclusive social events--smalls LACs often are like private high schools where you have to be invited to be included. Schools with residential colleges like Rice and somewhat U of Chicago have inbuilt in social events so a kid can join in anytime.

[Anonymous]

Bridgewater College in Virginia. Residential campus. About 2 hours from NOVA. Private school, but their aid for good students is nothing to sneeze at.