Do you have a Wednesday Addams child?

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old definitely has a dark and sarcastic sense of humor. She also greatly prefers animals over humans (but does have several close friends) and black is her favorite color. She does not draw anything alarming (she is really into anime and likes to draw in that style) or share that she fantasizes about harm coming to those that annoy her. I think of her more as Daria than Wednesday Adams.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP’s kid is lonely (overly dependent on relationships with animals) and seeking attention (deliberately pushing buttons in trusted adults). Try building in more positive interactions, as little criticism as possible, and supported opportunities to make meaningful social connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 11 year old is intelligent and obviously under-challenged, but sometimes I worry about her: she has a completely morbid sense of humor, has a best friend with whom she chats about all kinds of demonic fantasy-type things, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead. Right now she's doing a series of math problems and has rewritten all the stories in the following vein: "Dave's murderous sister Cathy baked 3 dozen pies, of which a third contain poison A, a quarter contain poison B, a sixth contain poison C, a twelfth contain poison D. What is the smallest possible number of pies that have none of these poisons?" She has perfected a maniacal cackle that is movie-worthy. When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things. She likes to write short stories rich in suspense and dread.

Since my other child is a sweet, wholesome, straight-laced teenager, I wonder... where is this one headed?

lol are you kidding?? She sounds awesome.

Humans are uninteresting-- and I assume many of the girls her age are cookie cutter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 11 year old is intelligent and obviously under-challenged, but sometimes I worry about her: she has a completely morbid sense of humor, has a best friend with whom she chats about all kinds of demonic fantasy-type things, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead. Right now she's doing a series of math problems and has rewritten all the stories in the following vein: "Dave's murderous sister Cathy baked 3 dozen pies, of which a third contain poison A, a quarter contain poison B, a sixth contain poison C, a twelfth contain poison D. What is the smallest possible number of pies that have none of these poisons?" She has perfected a maniacal cackle that is movie-worthy. When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things. She likes to write short stories rich in suspense and dread.

Since my other child is a sweet, wholesome, straight-laced teenager, I wonder... where is this one headed?

lol are you kidding?? She sounds awesome.

Humans are uninteresting-- and I assume many of the girls her age are cookie cutter.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 11 year old is intelligent and obviously under-challenged, but sometimes I worry about her: she has a completely morbid sense of humor, has a best friend with whom she chats about all kinds of demonic fantasy-type things, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead. Right now she's doing a series of math problems and has rewritten all the stories in the following vein: "Dave's murderous sister Cathy baked 3 dozen pies, of which a third contain poison A, a quarter contain poison B, a sixth contain poison C, a twelfth contain poison D. What is the smallest possible number of pies that have none of these poisons?" She has perfected a maniacal cackle that is movie-worthy. When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things. She likes to write short stories rich in suspense and dread.

Since my other child is a sweet, wholesome, straight-laced teenager, I wonder... where is this one headed?

lol are you kidding?? She sounds awesome.

Humans are uninteresting-- and I assume many of the girls her age are cookie cutter.

+1

🙄 #notlikeothergirls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot (all?) of adolescent therapists will do free 15 minute consultations and you can ask them if you think therapy would be appropriate. Just a thought.

Yes! We often call or visit a PCP with a medical question. Completely reasonable to consult a mental health professional for recommendations. Wish you well, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was very goth all through high school and has not murdered anyone yet....the only concerning thing here is the pictures of violent ways to kill people who upset her. And it's hard to say if that's over the top drama or if she is really harboring death fantasies. So, maybe have her talk to a therapist?

But all the other stuff is just totally typical "goth" stuff...or whatever they call it now. My son calls it "edgy?" LOL. So cringe!

I was completely obsessed Anne Rice and wanted to be a vampire, and wrote dark, brooding poetry, and always preferred the strong, clever villains to the stupid heroines! Maleficent was soooo much cooler than Sleeping Beauty! The math problem stuff sounds like Edward Gorey or Roald Dahl.

+1 She sounds like my goth sister. I was the straight-laced older sister, and I'm sure there was some element of wanting to be the opposite of me, but she's basically stuck with it her whole life. She's very smart & successful, and if you didn't see her full sleeve tattoos or run into her at a metal music festival, you wouldn't know the difference.

Please accept her for who she is. I came from a very conservative Christian family who thought my sister was under the influence of demons, and it was very rough for her in her teen years. Had they just loved and accepted her for who she was, she could have avoided a lot of heartache.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she sounds like a baby goth. I would also be a little concerned about the stabby things, but only if there are other red flags in that context. Does she love and connect with her family? Is she kind and considerate? Interested in the world? Sounds like yes to these questions but you're the best judge.

I'm another Daria and my preteen and teen years were filled with feelings of otherness and not fitting in. I loved dark humor and macabre but was ultimately a big scaredy cat. My interests were a way to identify and connect when I felt I didn't understand or fit in with a lot of mainstream teen culture even when I longed to. My mom would make offhand, eye-rolly comments about me that really minimized my feelings and contributed even more to feeling unseen. Not to say you do this too, but make sure you are trying to connect with her in her world.