Do you have a Wednesday Addams child?

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old is intelligent and obviously under-challenged, but sometimes I worry about her: she has a completely morbid sense of humor, has a best friend with whom she chats about all kinds of demonic fantasy-type things, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead. Right now she's doing a series of math problems and has rewritten all the stories in the following vein: "Dave's murderous sister Cathy baked 3 dozen pies, of which a third contain poison A, a quarter contain poison B, a sixth contain poison C, a twelfth contain poison D. What is the smallest possible number of pies that have none of these poisons?" She has perfected a maniacal cackle that is movie-worthy. When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things. She likes to write short stories rich in suspense and dread.

Since my other child is a sweet, wholesome, straight-laced teenager, I wonder... where is this one headed?

[Anonymous]

I’d ask her if she wants to talk to a therapist. Dark sense of humor is one thing, what you are describing is way beyond that.

[Anonymous]

That’s alarming

[Anonymous]

Is she a bit of a scaredy cat (despite being into dark subjects)? Does she tend to frighten easier than your other kid?

[Anonymous]

She sounds creative and like she’s trying to differentiate herself from her straight-laced sister. I don’t think she needs therapy, but I think you would probably know deep down if she did. She’d get along great with my DD, who has a thing for the macabre. I think horror is in with some middle schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds creative and like she’s trying to differentiate herself from her straight-laced sister. I don’t think she needs therapy, but I think you would probably know deep down if she did. She’d get along great with my DD, who has a thing for the macabre. I think horror is in with some middle schoolers.

+1 seems like totally normal younger sister behaviour to me. Some people are just fond of horror. Get her some Edward Gorey for her birthday.

[Anonymous]

Google slenderman stabbing, in case that pops up any red flags with the your daughter’s friendship with her similarly-into-horror-stories friend.

On the other hand she may end up creating a highly successful true crimes podcast or majoring in psychology and becoming a criminal profiler.

[Anonymous]

She’s a regular kid going through an incredibly cringey phase.

[Anonymous]

A lot (all?) of adolescent therapists will do free 15 minute consultations and you can ask them if you think therapy would be appropriate. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

That’s some pretty crazy stuff for an 11-year-old! she may be just trying to differentiate herself from her older sister, but she might also have something else going on. If I were you I would make myself very aware and find out why she thinks humans are gross? It’s kind of an odd stance to have at the age of 11.

[Anonymous]

My DD was similar at that age. She did a report in 4th grade on the Donner Party and in 5th on the Salem witch trials. She was also really into the Horrible History books. Now, as a teen, she’s a little bit goth, but otherwise pretty normal. Don’t overthink this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Is she otherwise pretty typical? My DS who is physically weak and uncoordinated has always rooted for the bad guy, likes violent stuff—it’s more about feeling powerful through play. It used to worry me, but it’s actually a pretty normal way for him to process his feelings. I get your concern—just throwing that out there if it resonates.

[Anonymous]

She seems very disturbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead…

….When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things….

The horror part is scary, but leaving that aside, she seems very justice oriented. Her idea of justice might not be yours, nor mainstream, nor correct, but it’s her apparent motivation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:…, and loves to take the side of the bad guys when we watch movies or of dictators when we watch the news. She has always said she finds humans terribly unappealing and prefers animals instead…

….When someone annoys her, she employs picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to, involving stabby things….

The horror part is scary, but leaving that aside, she seems very justice oriented. Her idea of justice might not be yours, nor mainstream, nor correct, but it’s her apparent motivation.

I teach 11 YOs and have two kids of my own. I’d run this second part past the school counselor, OP, whether they were my students or my own kids. Dark poetry and scary, intense stories are normal for this age, yes, but it sounds like you’re describing something different. It sounds like these “picturesque depictions of violent ends they will come to” are about people she actually knows. The fact that you added that these scenarios involve “stabby things” is more concerning.

Talk to the school counselor. They hopefully know your kid, and are trained to deal with this sort of thing.