Tweens at nicer restaurants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, if they're well behaved and well mannered and have experience at nicer places, no issue. I had a high tea at the palace hotel for my 13th birthday at the NY Palace and spent my 14th birthday out alone with a friend for dinner at Le Bernardin. No one cares about age as long as they can behave like adults. If you need to introduce some of these concepts I recommend the book, "Tiffany's table manners for teenagers."

* repeated myself, sentiment stands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only child here. This is one of the best perks of being an only child! I was always the only kid in a sea of adults at restaurants, movies, plays, concerts, etc. Now as an adult, I always feel a special bond with the random only children I spot at these events.

I’m an only child and hated going to nice restaurants, plays, and concerts. I wanted to play with my friends.

[Anonymous]

Once a month we take our THREE BOYS to a fine dining experience. Ages 9, 12, &15. All have gone/go to cotillion and not only is trying new restaurants fun, it's a lesson in proper attire, etiquette, and table manners.

Kids rise to the occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think the vast majority of kids without SN (and many with them) should be fine to do this by age 10, but possibly much earlier. I guess the issue is side-eye from other patrons even with a "perfectly behaved child," but I'd assume that much less likely after the age of 8 or so.

With the caveat that "perfectly well-behaved" at a place like this does not include a phone or a tablet, even with headphones. Even though adults don't always follow this, and even though, if you have to do it because you must attend something at a fancy place and have a very young and/or SN kid with you, well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I don't think the OP's 13 yo would "require" a tablet, but I could see parents doing this with a 9 yo, and it's distracting and should be avoided.

How are the silent activities of someone at another table distracting to you?

And what are you concentrating on that you are being distracted from?

It's not that that serious, okay? But you can be distracted by things other than sound. Such as flashing lights and moving pictures. And yes, it's different to our brains from the movement of a live person, in a way similar to the fact that hearing one side of a conversation when someone is on a phone is different from hearing an actual conversation between two people at the same volume.

Again, not the worst thing in the world, but preferably avoided *at a very very expensive restaurant where people have possibly saved up to go for a very very special night*. I don't love it at the Cheesecake Factory either, but I'm speaking of acceptable or ideal behavior at a very nice place.

It also seems premature to take a kid (if you don't have to) to a restaurant they can only survive with a tablet. What's the point? If you don't have to?

And I already acknowledged adults can be worse. Through whether used by adults or kids-- tablets are obviously worse than phones because they're more visible.

It's like a lot of suboptimal behavior. It's not going to kill anyone, but yeah, it's kind of uncool.

Very bizarre statement. What restaurants are you going to? I'm a poster that takes my kids to a fine dining experience once a month. Some places ban phones at the table outright. I've honestly rarely even seen an adult use a phone at a fine dining establishment. We don't even bring ours into the restaurant and of my kids doesn't even have a phone.

Are you thinking Zitanya is fine dining? Maybe we have a different definition? Sound like you are going to a mid scale restaurant if this is your experience. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think the vast majority of kids without SN (and many with them) should be fine to do this by age 10, but possibly much earlier. I guess the issue is side-eye from other patrons even with a "perfectly behaved child," but I'd assume that much less likely after the age of 8 or so.

With the caveat that "perfectly well-behaved" at a place like this does not include a phone or a tablet, even with headphones. Even though adults don't always follow this, and even though, if you have to do it because you must attend something at a fancy place and have a very young and/or SN kid with you, well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I don't think the OP's 13 yo would "require" a tablet, but I could see parents doing this with a 9 yo, and it's distracting and should be avoided.

Not really sure why you had to throw special needs kids in here. Weird and telling.

+1 I was just about to comment the same thing. Gross that PP would say that other kids are welcome at high end restaurants but not special needs kids.