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This isn't normal. A reasonable amount would be not so much that you are questioning it or feeling this way. He would be participating in time as a family and alone time with you. He would be excelling at work. He would have or make time for other people, hobbies, and responsibilities. Is he doing these things?
Honestly I would not tolerate a marriage like that. You seem unhappy. You deserve better and so do your kids. |
| Definite addiction levels here. This is not moderation. Push counseling and gtfo if he won't deal with his issues |
| I don’t play video games but I don’t think they are any different than watching Real Housewives or Grey’s Anatomy. As long as it is done in moderation, doesn’t negatively affect family or work, and only occurs during free time after kids are asleep and chores are done, no problem. |
| Exactly - moderation is the key takeaway here! |
That's nice. Also irrelevant to the post you responded to |
| OP, this is an addiction, not a hobby. Just like drinking, overeating, smoking. He needs help and I am sure you do as well. Parenting alone in a house with another must be maddening! |
| That it is even being asked shows the level of emotional abuse and gaslighting. What does he say when asked about it? Does he hide particulars like time and money spent and frequency? Does he ever ask you or the kids to join him? Is he keeping up with family, chores, friends, work? |
| Also wondering how it is physically possible to do 14 hours a day?! What does his daily routine look like? |
| What game is he playing? I like video games but maybe play 14 hours in a month. I play with my kids now and again sometimes but I can only lose in fortnite or whatever so many times before it just is not fun. |
| Can we get an update? Did you talk again or leave? |
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OP 14 hours a day is INSANE and you have three kids? Not sure why you even bother to keep him around. He is already not parenting so your kids probably wouldnt be impacted if you divroced.
First, he is a loser. I think most adult men who play video games are already avoiding something but anyone playing over an hour a day is really heading into loser territory. Secnd, think of the example he is setting for your kids. How you will feel if your kids grow up and play video games all day. You will feel like you failed as a mother. |
45 year old men who claim video games as their main hobby are weirdos. Is this the new midlife crisis. Like these men can't deal with their kids, jobs etc so instead of drinking or cheating they shut the world out and play violent games with strangers on line? Got it. this may be the "norm" to you but its still pathetic. |
How is playing video games any different/worse than binge watching Squid Game or some other Netflix show; watching sports (at least a guaranteed 3 hr commitment); keeping up with the Kardashians or Real Housewives; reading romance novels; weekly poker nights; knitting; coloring; listening to music; or any other hobbies people (hopefully, responsibly) participate in? |
How many people you know who watch Netflix or sports, read romance novels, or color 14+ hours per day? You tell us. |
I'm not speaking to the 14+ hours a day part. That's obviously and objectively silly and an addiction. I'm asking about people that think no adults should play games at all. |