Would you marry a woman who is not conventionally beautiful/you view as less physically attractive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of DH former gfs were more attractive. He would say he married me b/c of attraction that grew with more time while with others the attraction lessened with more time.

But you still passed his minimum bar for attractiveness. I don't think people are saying that a man marries the hottest woman he can get, but more that there's a minimum standard for attractiveness that must be met then other factors like personality etc. come into play. Or are you saying your husband would have married someone he found ugly if she had the same other qualities that you possess?

[Anonymous]

This is always interesting to me. Do you want to stay married forever? Till death? We are old. When my DH and I got married, we were decent looking, good shape and I'd consider us above average in looks.

Now, we are old, a bit gray, a bit wrinkly, a bit overweight. I'd say we are more attracted to each other's personality than looks. We are also bonded because of all the ups and downs we've faced in our marriage.

You should look at a potential spouse for the long-term and not just whether she's pretty or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men are willing to go down in looks to go up in great personality. To a man, having a great personality means being pleasant to be around, cooperative, understanding, calm, centered, and kind. If you can do all of these, then you are a keeper. He'll be running to buy a ring.

Sounds kind of like men want a mommy that they can also bang.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has to be physically attractive enough to get my attention but she doesn’t have to be beautiful. Once there is an attraction then it comes down to brains, a sense of humor etc etc plus great sex.

You say this, but I haven't found this to be true in real life, especially the highlighted portion.

DP. What have you seen, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men are willing to go down in looks to go up in great personality. To a man, having a great personality means being pleasant to be around, cooperative, understanding, calm, centered, and kind. If you can do all of these, then you are a keeper. He'll be running to buy a ring.

Sounds kind of like men want a mommy that they can also bang.

This is because the woman who wrote the opinion about what men want regards herself as being in the mommy role to her husband. This is not uncommon among DCUM women, but doesn't mean it's correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is always interesting to me. Do you want to stay married forever? Till death? We are old. When my DH and I got married, we were decent looking, good shape and I'd consider us above average in looks.

Now, we are old, a bit gray, a bit wrinkly, a bit overweight. I'd say we are more attracted to each other's personality than looks. We are also bonded because of all the ups and downs we've faced in our marriage.

You should look at a potential spouse for the long-term and not just whether she's pretty or not.

The key point is that when you married him you were hot. He didn't marry you for your personality. He is willing to overlook you being old, fat, and wrinkly because he remembers what you were like when you were young and hot. (This is an overlooked benefit of keeping a husband who knew you when you were young, by the way.)

[Anonymous]

DH married me, and I’m less conventionally attractive than his XW and many other women he’s dated. It was chemistry, shared goals, how much fun we have together, and frequent intimacy.

I think some women view beauty as the only factor in male attraction. After you met a minimum bar, other factors are much more important than looks.

Think about the posts on DCUM about men complaining their objectively hot wives never want to have sex. They’d trade them for a less attractive but sex positive woman.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and dated two men who modeled, I’m nothing special. But I’m likable and I’m good at reading people.

[Anonymous]

Probably not because I'm attracted to men, not women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of DH former gfs were more attractive. He would say he married me b/c of attraction that grew with more time while with others the attraction lessened with more time.

But you still passed his minimum bar for attractiveness. I don't think people are saying that a man marries the hottest woman he can get, but more that there's a minimum standard for attractiveness that must be met then other factors like personality etc. come into play. Or are you saying your husband would have married someone he found ugly if she had the same other qualities that you possess?

NP - I think physical attractiveness is the first bar and let's say its a 5, 6 or a 7. But the other qualities can move the person up to an 8 or 9 or even a 10. On the other hand a 10 can quickly go down to a 6 or 7 or less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No but I laugh when I see all those fat tatted rejects on Tinder making outlandish demands for commitment from high-quality men.

IK.. it’s so absurd…. they paint this exacting picture of what they want, inflexible… and shocker… it cannot be found.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I laugh when I see all those fat tatted rejects on Tinder making outlandish demands for commitment from high-quality men.

IK.. it’s so absurd…. they paint this exacting picture of what they want, inflexible… and shocker… it cannot be found.

Computer engineering types doing it for the "cultural fit" vs intelligence/problem solving live for dating jerks as long as they are fat. Those guys seem to be online and on apps a lot. If "those rejects" go to weaker engineering schools, they will be able to make any outlandish demands they want.

[Anonymous]

Good looks are simply the starting point. Deciding who to marry entails so much more but if you are older and are in search of nothing more than a trophy wife things can change! When your first wife still looks good after 30 years you are a lucky guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average or below average looking women get married all the time, but you shouldn't marry someone who you don't find attractive.

This. And consider she is likely in the prime of her attractiveness now. It is only downhill from here. Factor that in with the general decrease of lust that happens after years of marriage for even the most attractive of people