If you have a popular kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is very easy going and funny. Boys and girls alike have always liked her because she's kind to everyone and up for anything (i.e. she's not bossy about what to do, she'll join in a game others are playing). She's also very pretty, although she's always been popular and I'm not sure if five-year olds are drawn to good looks?

This may sound obnoxious but I attribute it to the genes she got from me. I have always been popular - liked even by people I don't like. I'm outgoing and friendly, I don't start arguments, I don't drink a lot so I'm never embarrassingly drunk or saying stupid/annoying things, I ask people questions about themselves and I take genuine interest in how they are doing, I am a gracious hostess and always try to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't do anything that makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself, if that makes sense. I think my daughter is the same - she doesn't try to be popular, she just is.

You lost me at “five year-olds.” You aren’t the target audience of this question. “Popularity” as in “the popular kids” isn’t really a thing until middle school.

Same.
I also thought first poster was talking about an older kid. LOL. A five year old!!

You guys, the PP already responded to this, and you can tell if you just read it again that she's not saying her daughter is CURRENTLY 5. She says her daughter has always been pretty, but she was popular even when she was 5, and 5 year olds probably aren't that into looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is ‘popular’ at school and with other kids, what do you think makes them popular? What are their personality traits like? What can attribute their popularity to? What characteristics about your kid do you think make them attract other kids easily?

Extremly easy going and laid back.

If she trips in front of everyone, she'll bow and laugh it off, which gives everyone else permission to laugh too (but then they're laughing WITH her and not at her).
She doesn't have any of that hang ups or insecurities that a lot of teenagers have.

She doesn't allow herself get pulled into drama or toxic relationships, she's really friends with anyone who wants to be friends with her & she never, ever gossips behind people's backs.

She's empathetic, kind and very considerate... and she'll always stick up for what's right, whether she knows the person being made fun of or hurt or not.

She just really doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes her really easy to be around... oh, and she's freaking hysterical.
Probably the funniest, wittiest, person I've ever met.

I wish I was like her when I was in high school.

+1

Great kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here.

You were correct. Many distorted answers here.

Actually I disagree. Sounds like everyone is saying the same thing… attractive, enough intelligence to have a good sense of humor, and CONFIDENCE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here.

You were correct. Many distorted answers here.

Actually I disagree. Sounds like everyone is saying the same thing… attractive, enough intelligence to have a good sense of humor, and CONFIDENCE.

And being fairly easygoing/laidback.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say my child is popular in the traditional sense (she is no Regina George), but she has always had a lot of friends at school.

So much of it is that she just clicks with the atmosphere at school. She is very liberal/alt (queer, blue hair, outspoken about social issues, involved in service projects, etc, etc) and goes to a school where so many people are like that that it’s easy for her to fit in and relate. If she were to go to the kind of school where cheerleaders were popular, I think she would just be a misfit and get bullied with the other misfits.

I’m quite surprised she has so many friends. At home she is really emotionally sensitive, she has a lot of insecurities, etc. But at school she just gets along with people easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here.

You were correct. Many distorted answers here.

Actually I disagree. Sounds like everyone is saying the same thing… attractive, enough intelligence to have a good sense of humor, and CONFIDENCE.

The bolded is the meat of it with the other 2 as condiments on top. Without the meat, you just don't have a meal.
Maybe loving parents of popular kids know the subtle details that make up their kids' personalities and think those fine details are what attract other kids. Really children on the whole are much more straightforward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here. Waiting for this response:

Well my child wields social power to exclude others and in doing so inspires a little bit of fear and admiration from peers. She’s quick to penalize anyone who isn’t loyal so they learn quick. Having money and being white with blonde hair helps.

+1. Perfect, and likely the truest response on here.

There seems to be some truth to this. The girl giving my DD the hardest time in 2nd grade is not very cut (although blonde) but she's mean as all get out and seems to get off on excluding my DD and others based on her whims but she strikes me as very insecure almost awkward and I can't understand the power she seems to have over the other girls. But I feel like her own weaknesses will catch up with her and I can't imagine a girl like this staying on top for very long.

Don't count on this. I was terrorized by the same non-cute, queen bee from 2nd grade until Senior year in high school. I was the cute little blonde girl. I wish someone would have taught me how to stand up for myself, or teach me to not let it bother me. Lacking that, the "queen bee" understood that I was a target who cared and didn't stand up for myself, and no one dared stand up to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here.

You were correct. Many distorted answers here.

Actually I disagree. Sounds like everyone is saying the same thing… attractive, enough intelligence to have a good sense of humor, and CONFIDENCE.

The bolded is the meat of it with the other 2 as condiments on top. Without the meat, you just don't have a meal.
Maybe loving parents of popular kids know the subtle details that make up their kids' personalities and think those fine details are what attract other kids. Really children on the whole are much more straightforward.

Attractive by itself is not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here.

You were correct. Many distorted answers here.

Actually I disagree. Sounds like everyone is saying the same thing… attractive, enough intelligence to have a good sense of humor, and CONFIDENCE.

The bolded is the meat of it with the other 2 as condiments on top. Without the meat, you just don't have a meal.
Maybe loving parents of popular kids know the subtle details that make up their kids' personalities and think those fine details are what attract other kids. Really children on the whole are much more straightforward.

Attractive by itself is not enough.

Meat by itself is not enough. But one of the others would do it for you. All two would be excellent for popularity (not to be confused with intimidating others a la Queen Bee.)

[Anonymous]

You can’t just be attractive. You have to also be outgoing I think. I was stereotypically attractive all through school (tall, thin, long shiny hair, clear skin, light eyes) but I was and am introverted and that came across as shy when I was school aged. So I wasn’t popular. I had a good group of friends, who also weren’t the popular kids so we didn’t care that we weren’t popular. We were in the middle somewhere in the social pecking order. I also think you can be popular without being attractive if you have a really dominant kind of personality. I knew many girls in school who were not beautiful (but average cute) but because they had extroverted, alpha type personalities, they became popular. My kid is 5, so I don’t know how it will go for her yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say my child is popular in the traditional sense (she is no Regina George), but she has always had a lot of friends at school.

So much of it is that she just clicks with the atmosphere at school. She is very liberal/alt (queer, blue hair, outspoken about social issues, involved in service projects, etc, etc) and goes to a school where so many people are like that that it’s easy for her to fit in and relate. If she were to go to the kind of school where cheerleaders were popular, I think she would just be a misfit and get bullied with the other misfits.

I’m quite surprised she has so many friends. At home she is really emotionally sensitive, she has a lot of insecurities, etc. But at school she just gets along with people easily.

You nailed the real meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here. Waiting for this response:

Well my child wields social power to exclude others and in doing so inspires a little bit of fear and admiration from peers. She’s quick to penalize anyone who isn’t loyal so they learn quick. Having money and being white with blonde hair helps.

This is the only answer.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a 5 YO here and Kindergarten has felt very different than PreK. At least for my son's school, it feels like some of this sorting is starting to happen more rapidly. Agree that defining "popular" among Kindergarteners is a little ridiculous, but I can see if starting to take shape more bluntly (so and so says they don't want to be my friend) so I can imagine that's why it on the mind of Kindergarten parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is very easy going and funny. Boys and girls alike have always liked her because she's kind to everyone and up for anything (i.e. she's not bossy about what to do, she'll join in a game others are playing). She's also very pretty, although she's always been popular and I'm not sure if five-year olds are drawn to good looks?

This may sound obnoxious but I attribute it to the genes she got from me. I have always been popular - liked even by people I don't like. I'm outgoing and friendly, I don't start arguments, I don't drink a lot so I'm never embarrassingly drunk or saying stupid/annoying things, I ask people questions about themselves and I take genuine interest in how they are doing, I am a gracious hostess and always try to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't do anything that makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself, if that makes sense. I think my daughter is the same - she doesn't try to be popular, she just is.

Are you sure you’re popular? You so sound so tiresome.

+1 There are a few similar types on my SM feeds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will anyone feds up to their kid being mean?

Mean kids, by definition, are not popular. No one likes them.