If you have a popular kid?

[Anonymous]

If your kid is ‘popular’ at school and with other kids, what do you think makes them popular? What are their personality traits like? What can attribute their popularity to? What characteristics about your kid do you think make them attract other kids easily?

[Anonymous]

She is very easy going and funny. Boys and girls alike have always liked her because she's kind to everyone and up for anything (i.e. she's not bossy about what to do, she'll join in a game others are playing). She's also very pretty, although she's always been popular and I'm not sure if five-year olds are drawn to good looks?

This may sound obnoxious but I attribute it to the genes she got from me. I have always been popular - liked even by people I don't like. I'm outgoing and friendly, I don't start arguments, I don't drink a lot so I'm never embarrassingly drunk or saying stupid/annoying things, I ask people questions about themselves and I take genuine interest in how they are doing, I am a gracious hostess and always try to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't do anything that makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself, if that makes sense. I think my daughter is the same - she doesn't try to be popular, she just is.

[Anonymous]

She’s very out going and very nice. When she was little, she was the kid who could go to an event where we knew no one and end up with friends. We have no idea where she got it from, it’s a family joke because the rest of us are much more reserved and introverted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is very easy going and funny. Boys and girls alike have always liked her because she's kind to everyone and up for anything (i.e. she's not bossy about what to do, she'll join in a game others are playing). She's also very pretty, although she's always been popular and I'm not sure if five-year olds are drawn to good looks?

This may sound obnoxious but I attribute it to the genes she got from me. I have always been popular - liked even by people I don't like. I'm outgoing and friendly, I don't start arguments, I don't drink a lot so I'm never embarrassingly drunk or saying stupid/annoying things, I ask people questions about themselves and I take genuine interest in how they are doing, I am a gracious hostess and always try to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't do anything that makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself, if that makes sense. I think my daughter is the same - she doesn't try to be popular, she just is.

You lost me at “five year-olds.” You aren’t the target audience of this question. “Popularity” as in “the popular kids” isn’t really a thing until middle school.

[Anonymous]

They are generally people pleasers who go along to get along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is very easy going and funny. Boys and girls alike have always liked her because she's kind to everyone and up for anything (i.e. she's not bossy about what to do, she'll join in a game others are playing). She's also very pretty, although she's always been popular and I'm not sure if five-year olds are drawn to good looks?

This may sound obnoxious but I attribute it to the genes she got from me. I have always been popular - liked even by people I don't like. I'm outgoing and friendly, I don't start arguments, I don't drink a lot so I'm never embarrassingly drunk or saying stupid/annoying things, I ask people questions about themselves and I take genuine interest in how they are doing, I am a gracious hostess and always try to make people feel comfortable. However, I don't do anything that makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself, if that makes sense. I think my daughter is the same - she doesn't try to be popular, she just is.

You lost me at “five year-olds.” You aren’t the target audience of this question. “Popularity” as in “the popular kids” isn’t really a thing until middle school.

Completely disagree. There are popular kid starting in preschool. Some kids are always the center of attention and other kids gravitate towards them.

I have one who is that way and one who is not. The one who is is very charming and since a very young age has been able to "read the room" and understand emotions and he also has a great sense of humor.

The one who is not is perfectly likeable, just not the first person you notice in a room.

[Anonymous]

Charisma, funny, outgoing and looks doesn't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s very out going and very nice. When she was little, she was the kid who could go to an event where we knew no one and end up with friends. We have no idea where she got it from, it’s a family joke because the rest of us are much more reserved and introverted

This is us! I have two quieter kids, but my popular one is the one who has ALWAYS made friends EVERYWHERE. So far, he is also very nice, but I'm well aware that popularity has its pitfalls, and more than anything else, I hope he continues to be a good person.

[Anonymous]

My popular child is very tall. I think that at younger ages, kids have gravitated to her because she's always been "the big kid"; so it's been kind of a cycle of, she was popular because she's big, and now she's popular because she's used to being popular.

[Anonymous]

My 8th grader DS has been popular since preschool. He is genuinely a kind person, friendly and outgoing. He’s not shy about starting a conversation or inviting someone to hang out. He’s athletic and participates in many sports. He might push the boundaries sometimes but is generally a good kid who doesn’t get into trouble.

[Anonymous]

Extremely confident. Genuinely kind, very funny. And yes, although “popular” now as an athletic middle schooler, he stood apart socially even in K, even before he was taller.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think my kid is popular by association. He has had the same core group since K and they are now some of the more popular boys in the class. That's not to say that any one is more popular than the other (though they have different strengths) but if he hadn't become such close friends who that group of boys early on, not sure that he would be popular. I will say, he has plenty of friends outside of that group as well and gets along with everyone so he certainly doesn't exclude others--he's actually very good at making new friends and welcoming new people to the school. But I feel like those 5-6 boys will always be his main circle.

[Anonymous]

Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here. Waiting for this response:

Well my child wields social power to exclude others and in doing so inspires a little bit of fear and admiration from peers. She’s quick to penalize anyone who isn’t loyal so they learn quick. Having money and being white with blonde hair helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol you are going to get very distorted answers here. Waiting for this response:

Well my child wields social power to exclude others and in doing so inspires a little bit of fear and admiration from peers. She’s quick to penalize anyone who isn’t loyal so they learn quick. Having money and being white with blonde hair helps.

I don't really think such kids are all that popular. It's more than they are powerful, which is not insignificant but it is different. There are always many kids (excluded ones but also others) who do not like those queen bees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s very out going and very nice. When she was little, she was the kid who could go to an event where we knew no one and end up with friends. We have no idea where she got it from, it’s a family joke because the rest of us are much more reserved and introverted

Same experience here with one of our DDs. I’m actually very curious to see how this evolves as she gets older. She’s nearly 6 (so we haven’t had to deal with much, I’ll admit), but she’s never met a stranger, engages with everyone she meets (adults and kids), and is very extroverted. No idea where it comes from - DH is very much a loner type and, while I enjoy being around others, I tend to be very shy and reserved.