If your child is gifted and an outlier, did you homeschool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homeschool. I have a kid like this. Homeschool homeschool homeschool. WTM has a forum for HSing these kids.

+1. We have our children in academic classes through Well Trained Mind Academy, enrichment classes through a local co-op, arts / sports through our local community center, as well as home instruction using Book Shark (more home instruction for the younger kids, more WTMA for the older ones). The goal is to have the kids dual enroll at NVCC for their junior and senior years and have two years of college done before completion of their "senior" year. Our version of homeschool is more like a la carte private school, and we've never worried about socialization.

[Anonymous]

My child is in a public magnet with CTY through John's Hopkins for summer enrichment.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here: How are her social skills?

[Anonymous]

My son is gifted and was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at age six. I pulled him out in 3rd and homeschooled him. My mother created an English program just for him (she has a degree in education), and we worked with him through 5th grade. He wanted to go back to public in sixth. I focused on teaching him to control the ADHD without medication (from my own life experience, since he is exactly like me), she worked on the dyslexia.
Last year I moved to a different city and enrolled him in a school with around 1500 kids.
His counselor called me one day last fall and asked why he had an IEP for dyslexia (I had been advised to keep his IEP for dyslexia, but I dropped ADHD from his IEP, because the psychiatrist who diagnosed him told me when I re-enrolled him in 6th that she didn't know what I did to help him, but he was the biggest success she'd ever seen. At his new school last year, the counselor told me that he shows no signs of being dyslexic. I told her how we accomplished that goal, and she was impressed. He's a 1st Sgt in JROTC, makes A's in English without studying, and is headed for the Navy, since that's been his dream for years.
He just needed a hand up, and some focused teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs socialization, not one on one schooling or homeschooling.

Homeschoolers get lots of socialization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child does not (so far) have challenges with academics. That comes very easy to him. The much harder piece is social skills -- working with other people, being around new people and people from different backgrounds, and learning to interact with peers and adults. Sure, I could stretch him academically at home, but he'd miss out on the thing that is harder for him to learn!

Not everything that kids learn in school is academic.

Many of you are very ignorant about homeschooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid who really was an outlier. Calculus at 10 kinda kid. We homeschooled for medical reasons (he was also an outlier there) and it was the right choice.

I also have a kid who is more run of the mill gifted, ready for Algebra at 11 kinda kid. He has been well served by schools.

OP here. May I ask what happened to your Calculus at 10 kid? Mine is six and she is finishing up Fraction and started Algebra.

Mine was sent to our local high school age 11. Actually all of mine but one out of six did that. The last one went to a small private. Which we then had to supplement big time. OP get a tutor outside of class, but definitely do not homeschool. There is no way homeschooling will have the knowledge your kid will need in all subjects.

I can't say how frustrating it is to read your comments. You do not understand what homeschooling is. Homeschooling simply means that you have control to choose the curricula, level of instruction and method of instruction that best meets your child's needs. It does not mean that a single person will teach everything to a child. It does not mean that a child never leaves their home. It does not mean that the child only interacts with their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid who really was an outlier. Calculus at 10 kinda kid. We homeschooled for medical reasons (he was also an outlier there) and it was the right choice.

I also have a kid who is more run of the mill gifted, ready for Algebra at 11 kinda kid. He has been well served by schools.

OP here. May I ask what happened to your Calculus at 10 kid? Mine is six and she is finishing up Fraction and started Algebra.

Mine was sent to our local high school age 11. Actually all of mine but one out of six did that. The last one went to a small private. Which we then had to supplement big time. OP get a tutor outside of class, but definitely do not homeschool. There is no way homeschooling will have the knowledge your kid will need in all subjects.

I can't say how frustrating it is to read your comments. You do not understand what homeschooling is. Homeschooling simply means that you have control to choose the curricula, level of instruction and method of instruction that best meets your child's needs. It does not mean that a single person will teach everything to a child. It does not mean that a child never leaves their home. It does not mean that the child only interacts with their family.

I agree. It’s easier to think of homeschooling as “a la carte private schooling.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child does not (so far) have challenges with academics. That comes very easy to him. The much harder piece is social skills -- working with other people, being around new people and people from different backgrounds, and learning to interact with peers and adults. Sure, I could stretch him academically at home, but he'd miss out on the thing that is harder for him to learn!

Not everything that kids learn in school is academic.

Many of you are very ignorant about homeschooling.

They think it's 1982 and kids are sitting at home all day behind a desk with mommy at the chalkboard in the basement.

And I'm not even sure how common that was back then.

[Anonymous]

Homeschooling will make your child an outlier these days, especially if you teach them to read using phonics and actually teach them spelling, grammar and critical thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No don't homeschool a gifted kid unless something elese is going on.

OP you will fail your kid if you homeschool.

Please don't listen to people who know nothing about homeschooling. Go to the Well Trained Mind forums and start asking your questions.

+1. Depends on the kid and the curriculum. Also when we homeschooled it was nothing like the crap MCPS served up with COVID school. Makes me laugh - we did fine (kid is now in all advanced classes in higher performing public system). You just have to pick the right curriculum - something MCPS couldn’t get right for a decade with Pearson at their side!

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid who really was an outlier. Calculus at 10 kinda kid. We homeschooled for medical reasons (he was also an outlier there) and it was the right choice.

I also have a kid who is more run of the mill gifted, ready for Algebra at 11 kinda kid. He has been well served by schools.

I have a kid like your second one. Which schools worked for you? Do they move you kid a grade up if they are advanced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is gifted and was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at age six. I pulled him out in 3rd and homeschooled him. My mother created an English program just for him (she has a degree in education), and we worked with him through 5th grade. He wanted to go back to public in sixth. I focused on teaching him to control the ADHD without medication (from my own life experience, since he is exactly like me), she worked on the dyslexia.
Last year I moved to a different city and enrolled him in a school with around 1500 kids.
His counselor called me one day last fall and asked why he had an IEP for dyslexia (I had been advised to keep his IEP for dyslexia, but I dropped ADHD from his IEP, because the psychiatrist who diagnosed him told me when I re-enrolled him in 6th that she didn't know what I did to help him, but he was the biggest success she'd ever seen. At his new school last year, the counselor told me that he shows no signs of being dyslexic. I told her how we accomplished that goal, and she was impressed. He's a 1st Sgt in JROTC, makes A's in English without studying, and is headed for the Navy, since that's been his dream for years.
He just needed a hand up, and some focused teaching.

I have a very similar story except my very bright son has ADHD and severe Dysgraphia. The public school couldn't begin to help him and his self-esteem was tanked. Homeschooling allowed me to meet him where he was in everything. I have a background in education and a PhD in my field. I researched the heck out of how to teach a child with his learning differences. And in many areas, his learning was self-directed. Because of homeschooling, he never lost a child-like enthusiasm for learning. Eventually, he switched to Well-Trained Mind Academy classes in subjects I couldn't cover. He started attending a mainstream private in 9th (he's in 11th currently) and is a straight A student, and an extraordinary writer. I am most proud that he has a mind full of curiosity and that he has become a happy, confident young adult. I realize that OP's child does not have the same struggles but many people have strange opinions about homeschooling. Socializing was never an issue for us.

[Anonymous]

I've always been a bit drawn to the idea of homeschooling my "gifted" children--optimizing their education, letting them explore their interests, go to rich outside classes etc. But I'm a professor and to be honest what has put me off of it a bit is the homeschooling college students who have come my way as students. On paper, they have many interesting experiences, and I've appreciated them as people. Some have been quirky, some not (just like all students really). But as a group they haven't been the best at picking up how to interact in class, with their peers, how to adjust their work to different class demands. Issues come up more than with other students. Even in the lab setting where some undergraduates volunteer and work with grad students they seem to struggle more with seeing the work of the team and finding their place in it. It's been somewhat surprising to me, because a number of them had many dual enrollment classes at community college before coming to college, and even some research experiences, but it's been a pattern I've noticed. Of course it's not universal, but it's the majority of the several dozen I've had at 3 different colleges/universities over my career. I know it's a trope to say homeschooled kids lack socialization, but I think they do sometimes have less of the particular socialization of what it means to be a member of a learning group where you are not the primary learner, and less of the small group work with diverse peers that characterizes much of the daily life of kids in schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds nice in theory to place an outlier kid in regular school for the socialization. Many outliers are not going to fit in, no matter what you do as a parent, and there are hazards both academically and socially if you put your outlier in regular school.

On the social side, it's easy for an outlier to become the target of bullies or to be excluded, since they don't fit in. Then, they're stuck wondering what's fundamentally wrong with themselves since everyone else has friends, but they can't make them.

On the academic side, never being challenged might lead toward perfectionism which in turn will lead to imposter syndrome down the road in college or grad school. Or, they might not learn critical study and organizational skills. Or, they never learn to deal with setbacks.

Regular school is great if you have a kid who is gifted but not an outlier. It's great if your kid is only an outlier in one area that can be supplemented outside of school. Homeschooling is the better choice if the kid is an across the boards outlier or if the kid is just not going to be able to socialize well with same age kids.

This is what happened with my child. Socially, he was rejected by the other kids. He rarely joined groups of kids and spent most of his time reading alone. He typically skipped lunch and sat in a corner of the lunchroom to read unless I went to the school during the day to join him. Academically, he was bored at school and was labeled as a behavioral problem.
Even at home, he was kind of miserable and always in trouble for something that happened at school.

I finally pulled him out in fourth grade. My only regret is that I didn’t pull him out sooner. No kid should have a childhood like that. I am positive that he socializes more at home, out in the community, playing with his siblings, and seeing friends than he ever did at school.

It does take a lot of time though. I would say I spend at least 20 hours/week on school stuff for/with him. Don’t do it unless you and your partner are both committed.