If your child is gifted and an outlier, did you homeschool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No don't homeschool a gifted kid unless something elese is going on.

OP you will fail your kid if you homeschool.

Please don't listen to people who know nothing about homeschooling. Go to the Well Trained Mind forums and start asking your questions.

+1. Depends on the kid and the curriculum. Also when we homeschooled it was nothing like the crap MCPS served up with COVID school. Makes me laugh - we did fine (kid is now in all advanced classes in higher performing public system). You just have to pick the right curriculum - something MCPS couldn’t get right for a decade with Pearson at their side!

[Anonymous]

Homeschool. I have a kid like this. Homeschool homeschool homeschool. WTM has a forum for HSing these kids.

[Anonymous]

It sounds nice in theory to place an outlier kid in regular school for the socialization. Many outliers are not going to fit in, no matter what you do as a parent, and there are hazards both academically and socially if you put your outlier in regular school.

On the social side, it's easy for an outlier to become the target of bullies or to be excluded, since they don't fit in. Then, they're stuck wondering what's fundamentally wrong with themselves since everyone else has friends, but they can't make them.

On the academic side, never being challenged might lead toward perfectionism which in turn will lead to imposter syndrome down the road in college or grad school. Or, they might not learn critical study and organizational skills. Or, they never learn to deal with setbacks.

Regular school is great if you have a kid who is gifted but not an outlier. It's great if your kid is only an outlier in one area that can be supplemented outside of school. Homeschooling is the better choice if the kid is an across the boards outlier or if the kid is just not going to be able to socialize well with same age kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds nice in theory to place an outlier kid in regular school for the socialization. Many outliers are not going to fit in, no matter what you do as a parent, and there are hazards both academically and socially if you put your outlier in regular school.

On the social side, it's easy for an outlier to become the target of bullies or to be excluded, since they don't fit in. Then, they're stuck wondering what's fundamentally wrong with themselves since everyone else has friends, but they can't make them.

On the academic side, never being challenged might lead toward perfectionism which in turn will lead to imposter syndrome down the road in college or grad school. Or, they might not learn critical study and organizational skills. Or, they never learn to deal with setbacks.

Regular school is great if you have a kid who is gifted but not an outlier. It's great if your kid is only an outlier in one area that can be supplemented outside of school. Homeschooling is the better choice if the kid is an across the boards outlier or if the kid is just not going to be able to socialize well with same age kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not trying to be snarky or catty but I do have a contrarian perspective. It is this: if you look at long-term outcomes there are not a lot of prodigies who are successful adults. There are some but they tend to be outliers. If you don't believe me then start to do some research yourself.

And then think about all the quasi-regular kids who are accelerated for the super-TAG/AAP kind of things or who are home-schooled because the school systems cannot or will not move the child through the programs quickly enough for the parents. Consider how many there are in school or home-schooled each year and then ask yourself how many you know about who are stunning the world as adults. There aren't many. So, yes, keep your kid active and engaged but set your goals on the long-term outcome.

My sister has a child who is PG (lowest score was 178) and multi-dimensional. They chose a different route. They went private at grade level. It gave the kid an opportunity to socialize with peers. Yes, there were times when the child was probably bored during the school day but the socialization aspect was more important. The kid had a lot of after-school activities to keep busy and to exert energy. The kid's parents required that the kid attend college for 4 years so the kid took 6 years and graduated with a bachelors, a Master's and most of the academic work for a PhD.

Why were my sister and her husband so rigid about this? We have two older relatives who also are PG. My sister and her husband made the choice having seen the experiences of the two relatives. Their goal was to have a happy, well-adjusted adult after 21 years, not some frazzled, stressed out basket case.

I am posting as a many years super-TAG/AAP teacher. I loved what I used to do but I will tell you that there were a lot of kids I wish could have been taken off of the hamster wheel. Be thoughtful. Be careful. Good luck.

What you're missing is that families gravitate towards what their personalities allow. We all like different things and have different goals.
There are gifted individuals who do well in general education settings and gifted individuals who don't. There are children who are feel better in accelerated classes and others who are happy elsewhere.
There are intellectual gifts and organizational gifts and emotional gifts, and all the combinations thereof. You might not accept that parents *usually* know what their children need, but then you don't live with them 24/7, do you?

And MOST OF ALL - it is extremely ignorant of you to presume that just because you don't "hear of" a gifted child beyond their childhood years, that they somehow were misdirected and did not live up to their potential!!! I work at NIH where some of the STEM-oriented gifted people find their niche. If ever you need cancer treatments, do you think it's only the one who won the Nobel in Medicine who was the child prodigy?!? Do you think it's only the one who wins the Oscar who is the acting prodigy? There are plenty of professions where nobody is ever famous outside of their field of work, and gifted people can and do end up in those professions.

My profoundly-gifted cousin works for an NGO. My profoundly-gifted nephew works in the roller-coaster industry. You will never hear of them.

[Anonymous]

I think you’ve had some excellent advice here. I highly recommend the Hoagie’s website. It’s a site that focuses on gifted children, and you can find resources there on all aspects of giftedness.

https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child was a few grade levels ahead in reading and math, did you still send the child to school or did you homeschool?

We took MCPS magnet path with our 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Don’t know about outlier. DD entered kindergarten reading at a 6th grade level. (We chose a progressive private.) She is truly gifted in creative writing. She was not accelerated in math until 4th grade. But then skipped ahead about 4 levels and started doing contest math last year.

We homeschooled her this past year because of the pandemic. It went really well. She’s a motivated student and worked 40+ hours a week. But we cannot really teach her without putting in a lot of effort because of how advanced she is, and few parents have that kind of time.

This year we put her back in public school. It’s not great but we want her to be normal. It did not seem super healthy to get so focused on just academics.

For math they have her in pre algebra and she has pretty much exhausted pre calculus at home. And that is her least naturally gifted area. Just to give you an idea how frustrating public school can be and it still be the better option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:. But then skipped ahead about 4 levels and started doing contest math last year.

Which math contests did she enjoy? Which ones would you recommend, and for what grade level? I'm looking for more math enrichment options for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs socialization, not one on one schooling or homeschooling.

I agree. I started Algebra at 8 when my mom left her college textbook Lon the kitchen table. I didn’t need any help with academics but I needed social skills. I’m 48 now. I firmly believe great social skills serve you very well no matter your intelligence. My father is brilliant. Lack of social skills held him back in life though he’s done okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy crap! Algebra at age 6? That IS an outlier!

It would be really rare a child at age 6/7 would be ready for Algebra except if they skipped over many things.

2X = 6

Solve for X

Depends on how you define algebra. My 6 year old could solve this. I think most kids could. I don’t think OP’s kid will be doing linear algebra anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid who really was an outlier. Calculus at 10 kinda kid. We homeschooled for medical reasons (he was also an outlier there) and it was the right choice.

I also have a kid who is more run of the mill gifted, ready for Algebra at 11 kinda kid. He has been well served by schools.

OP here. May I ask what happened to your Calculus at 10 kid? Mine is six and she is finishing up Fraction and started Algebra.

Mine was sent to our local high school age 11. Actually all of mine but one out of six did that. The last one went to a small private. Which we then had to supplement big time. OP get a tutor outside of class, but definitely do not homeschool. There is no way homeschooling will have the knowledge your kid will need in all subjects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not trying to be snarky or catty but I do have a contrarian perspective. It is this: if you look at long-term outcomes there are not a lot of prodigies who are successful adults. There are some but they tend to be outliers. If you don't believe me then start to do some research yourself.

And then think about all the quasi-regular kids who are accelerated for the super-TAG/AAP kind of things or who are home-schooled because the school systems cannot or will not move the child through the programs quickly enough for the parents. Consider how many there are in school or home-schooled each year and then ask yourself how many you know about who are stunning the world as adults. There aren't many. So, yes, keep your kid active and engaged but set your goals on the long-term outcome.

My sister has a child who is PG (lowest score was 178) and multi-dimensional. They chose a different route. They went private at grade level. It gave the kid an opportunity to socialize with peers. Yes, there were times when the child was probably bored during the school day but the socialization aspect was more important. The kid had a lot of after-school activities to keep busy and to exert energy. The kid's parents required that the kid attend college for 4 years so the kid took 6 years and graduated with a bachelors, a Master's and most of the academic work for a PhD.

Why were my sister and her husband so rigid about this? We have two older relatives who also are PG. My sister and her husband made the choice having seen the experiences of the two relatives. Their goal was to have a happy, well-adjusted adult after 21 years, not some frazzled, stressed out basket case.

I am posting as a many years super-TAG/AAP teacher. I loved what I used to do but I will tell you that there were a lot of kids I wish could have been taken off of the hamster wheel. Be thoughtful. Be careful. Good luck.

What you're missing is that families gravitate towards what their personalities allow. We all like different things and have different goals.
There are gifted individuals who do well in general education settings and gifted individuals who don't. There are children who are feel better in accelerated classes and others who are happy elsewhere.
There are intellectual gifts and organizational gifts and emotional gifts, and all the combinations thereof. You might not accept that parents *usually* know what their children need, but then you don't live with them 24/7, do you?

And MOST OF ALL - it is extremely ignorant of you to presume that just because you don't "hear of" a gifted child beyond their childhood years, that they somehow were misdirected and did not live up to their potential!!! I work at NIH where some of the STEM-oriented gifted people find their niche. If ever you need cancer treatments, do you think it's only the one who won the Nobel in Medicine who was the child prodigy?!? Do you think it's only the one who wins the Oscar who is the acting prodigy? There are plenty of professions where nobody is ever famous outside of their field of work, and gifted people can and do end up in those professions.

My profoundly-gifted cousin works for an NGO. My profoundly-gifted nephew works in the roller-coaster industry. You will never hear of them.

LOL. If -I- didn't hear of them because apparently neither did any of the researchers who have studied the issue not hear of them, then are they really gifted and performing to "potential"? Probably not. On the other hand you, unlike your relatives, are being somewhat effective in demonstrating how dangerous anecdotal evidence can be because, as you prove, people like you give it credence and spread it without any reason or shred of proof.

Thanks for stopping by though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs socialization, not one on one schooling or homeschooling.

Parents don’t know anything about homeschooling. It isn’t always at home alone. One of my kids was ES homeschooled with other students and enrolled at NoVA in HS, lots of people to interact with and learn socialization skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. But then skipped ahead about 4 levels and started doing contest math last year.

Which math contests did she enjoy? Which ones would you recommend, and for what grade level? I'm looking for more math enrichment options for my kids.

Just the past AMC 8 tests which she found online and worked through each problem without time limits. Through these new sets of problems she started studying number theory and counting and probability through AoPS. Stuff she’d never been exposed to before. Unfortunately, she’s not experienced a true math club/team setting.