s/o Have you ever dated (or married) someone who is gay without knowing?

[Anonymous]

Thinking about that poor wife and her lawyer husband who was murdered. I wonder if she ever suspected anything. I dated someone once who i *thought* was probably gay. My friends thought I was crazy because he was a great guy and very masculine. We would have the most incredible make-out sessions, but never anything more. I even consulted one of my closest friends who is gay, and he said his *gay-dar* didn't go off when they were around one another.

I finally broke up with him and moved on.

He called me randomly out of the blue a few years ago to tell me that he found his life partner, and it is indeed another man. My suspicions were right.

[Anonymous]

A male friend of mine dated 2 women who changed teams after dating him. He was very upset about that-he thought he turned them or something!

[Anonymous]

I haven't personally but a guy my friend dated in college turned out to be gay. They didn't date that long, maybe 2 or 3 months and I don't think anything happened besides make out sessions. She said he just seemed a little "off", but I don't think anybody suspected he was gay until he came out several years later. It's pretty obvious now.

[Anonymous]

True story: many years ago I dated a very attractive and very feminine young lady who it turned out was a lesbian.

I realized this when at the height of passion she uttered the name of a woman while we were making out. I was startled and thought I had misheard what she said. A few days later I received a letter from her - this was in the days before email - in which she apologized and said that she was gay and that because of parental pressure and disapproval of her sexual orientation she had been going out with me.

I felt sorry for her, wished her well and never saw her again.

[Anonymous]

My mother and father.

He came out in his late 60's.

[Anonymous]

I dated a few guys when i was younger who were gay but not out - one of them might not have been aware he was gay, or at least not fully aware (???). This was a long term relationship. I was very surprised a few years later when he contacted me to discuss his coming out. i had no clue and honestly, it was tough to see him as my new gay friend. He had been my first serious boyfriend and the sex had been great!
On the other hand I dated/hooked up with a couple of guys that unintentionally revealed their gayness during sex. Not sure if they realized it at the time but the sex was just OFF in a way that I knew ... Even if they didn't! Oy. I will spare you all the details on those unfortunate encounters.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My experience in college was like 8:43's. This was in the 80s and there wasn't yet the widespread acceptance of being out at the age of 18-24. At least not in my Midwestern state.

[Anonymous]

Yep - long term relationship. Surprised many people, but there was always something a little bit off. Always worried that we'd never have children .. ha ha!! Still pretty mad at him for wasting all of those years.

[Anonymous]

Catched up with a woman I dated seriously early 20s. She later married, came out, and divorced. I have been very supportive of her decisions and we are actually now good friends.

[Anonymous]

My roommate years ago got a call from an old BF who had called to tell her that he was now gay. She packed a bag and drove 4 hours to try and turn him back...

I overheard this all from my room in the apartment. She actually left with no word, though when she came back, she admitted that she thought she could "fix" him. Big learning moment for her. She didn't know that people take time to realize things like this some times.

[Anonymous]

Guy I dated in law school I have very strong suspicions is gay. He's the cousin of a friend of mine, and I sort of keep tabs on him through facebook because of that, and keep expected to see him with a guy partner. No confirmation, but he works in big law and I don't know if he would let it come out publicly.

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy over a summer at the beach in college and suspected he was gay. He was gorgeous, like a Ken doll, very Southern and I'm pretty sure would never, ever, ever come out. But he was terrible in bed, even my 22-year-old self knew that. Combined with some other things that set off my gaydar....I'm fairly certain.

[Anonymous]

My sister's husband jokes every once in a while about coming out, I think more because my father is very up tight. There isn't a lot going on in their bedroom so who knows?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Dated a guy for 5 months, didn't realize he was gay. Should have realized it about 2 dates in

[Anonymous]

Without joking around, what is the gaydar or something off all of you saw?