Mom issues. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

My mom sent both kids a Valentine's Day card with $5 in them. I had my two year old call and say thank you but not my 7 year old. He was in school at the time. I didn't have him call her because I fogot. Now she is playing the victim and is asking me (text) how much she needs to put in the card for me to have the kids call and say thank you. She hung up on me and is very angry over this. What would you do or say?

[Anonymous]

If it were me, I would ignore it. She is overreacting.

Clearly, you acknowledged that the kids received the gifts. It was a small gift. It's not like the child ignored a slew of Christmas gifts she sent.

[Anonymous]

Have him call tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Your 7 yo needs to call and color a card.

[Anonymous]

Have the 7 ye old wrote a thank you or call and ghen don't think of it again.

[Anonymous]

She's got a point but she's aggravating and p/a. Next time arrange a time for both kids to call at the same time.

[Anonymous]

She is a nutty drama queen. Don't let her near your kids.

[Anonymous]

She is overreacting but you are also at fault for not calling when both kids were there.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you forgot to have your 7 yo call and that you're sorry she can't remember what it was like to be busy with family/work/etc. Tell her that if such a small thing can send her into such a dramatic tailspin it would be better for her not to do it again because you can't be sure to live up to her expectations. You've got enough on your plate without have to manage her, too.

FWIW - I've said a more sanitized version of this to my MIL who is a freakin drama queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you forgot to have your 7 yo call and that you're sorry she can't remember what it was like to be busy with family/work/etc. Tell her that if such a small thing can send her into such a dramatic tailspin it would be better for her not to do it again because you can't be sure to live up to her expectations. You've got enough on your plate without have to manage her, too.

FWIW - I've said a more sanitized version of this to my MIL who is a freakin drama queen.

Above is horrible advice. OP was an idiot for not calling when both kids could say thank you.

[Anonymous]

She's overreacting but both your kids need to write her thank-you cards and send them.

[Anonymous]

Have him write a thank you card and text a copy to her and mail it. Simple

My mom is the same way. Makes a huge stink over nothing.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It feels like she sent them just to receive a thank you. Her drilling me the question how much does she have to put in the card for me to have him call and say thank you or why didn't I have him call her. I feel like I am always having to apologize for something with her.

[Anonymous]

My aunt does things like this. Yes, she probably did send the cards just to get a thank you and attention, but she might not have enough self knowledge to even understand she is doing this.

Next time, make sure both kids are there before you call and say thank you. Will become even more problematic as the kids get older and have minds of entirely their own--grandma won't be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It feels like she sent them just to receive a thank you. Her drilling me the question how much does she have to put in the card for me to have him call and say thank you or why didn't I have him call her. I feel like I am always having to apologize for something with her.

You have all the information you need. My guess is that you are not at all surprised by this recent episode. You need to figure out healthy ways to consistently set boundaries for yourself. She sounds like a toxic energy vampire. Perhaps some time with a therapist can help you develop some strategies for dealing with her. Appeasing her and getting drawn into petty dramas isn't it.