Mom issues. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Wow all the hate for the mom! Op does your mom talk to the kids on a regular basis? Maybe she feels like contact always "costs" something...or maybe, she got her feelings hurt. Cut her a break. Remember, one day she won't be around to complain...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you forgot to have your 7 yo call and that you're sorry she can't remember what it was like to be busy with family/work/etc. Tell her that if such a small thing can send her into such a dramatic tailspin it would be better for her not to do it again because you can't be sure to live up to her expectations. You've got enough on your plate without have to manage her, too.

FWIW - I've said a more sanitized version of this to my MIL who is a freakin drama queen.

Above is horrible advice. OP was an idiot for not calling when both kids could say thank you.

Are you OP's mother? OP wasn't an idiot, she got busy and forgot. OP would be an idiot if she didn't use this as an opportunity to establish better boundaries and expectations with her mother - who sounds like she needs to have a 'managed' relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow all the hate for the mom! Op does your mom talk to the kids on a regular basis? Maybe she feels like contact always "costs" something...or maybe, she got her feelings hurt. Cut her a break. Remember, one day she won't be around to complain...

Not you again.

[Anonymous]

I would have had my kid call and say thank you..but not after that show. She could have politely named her feelings and wishing he had called without being coo coo nuts. don't reward crazy behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have had my kid call and say thank you..but not after that show. She could have politely named her feelings and wishing he had called without being coo coo nuts. don't reward crazy behavior.

+1

[Anonymous]

Obviously her feelings are hurt. Have him call and thank her and tell her he loves her but stand nearby and listen in case she decides to "lecture" him or something like that so you can do a quick goodbye and love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow all the hate for the mom! Op does your mom talk to the kids on a regular basis? Maybe she feels like contact always "costs" something...or maybe, she got her feelings hurt. Cut her a break. Remember, one day she won't be around to complain...

Not you again.

Umm...not sure exactly what you mean ? I've never posted about loosing a parent...

[Anonymous]

I would say that you were sorry that the 7 year old didn't call and that you forgot because you were overwhelmed with work/home stuff. I would then tell her it might be better if she didn't send money with cards in the future, because it seemed to be causing conflict.

[Anonymous]

I would also tell her not to send money any more.

Not worth $10 to have that aggravation.

[Anonymous]

OP you must be my long lost sister. We have the same mother. Don't apologize or let it get to you - just have 7 yr call AND write a note (then put it directly in the mail). Do this right away. Just do it. Not a bad thing for kids to learn to be gracious. There is plenty more to put up a fight about, this is really such a small thing. Trust me, we have the same mom. I am your older and wiser sister OP !

[Anonymous]

Tell her $100 would most probably do the job...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It feels like she sent them just to receive a thank you. Her drilling me the question how much does she have to put in the card for me to have him call and say thank you or why didn't I have him call her. I feel like I am always having to apologize for something with her.

You have all the information you need. My guess is that you are not at all surprised by this recent episode. You need to figure out healthy ways to consistently set boundaries for yourself. She sounds like a toxic energy vampire. Perhaps some time with a therapist can help you develop some strategies for dealing with her. Appeasing her and getting drawn into petty dramas isn't it.

OMG. NP here , just need to say I think "toxic energy vampire" is genius and will be added to my vocabulary.