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Beauty and Fashion
If you let yourself go....
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Anonymous
are you just super confident in your marriage that your DH won't stray, do you just not care, did your DH let himself go too, what is it? I am always stumped when I see women get a Dorothy Hamill or shorter frumpy haircut, wearing sports (or kitschy animals) sweatshirts and mom jeans up to their boobs, tennis shoes with jeans, driving a van, and sporting an extra 50 lbs. I just don't get why they don't care how they look - maybe some women never did. But she has kids, and is staying home with them. You gotta figure there's a husband around who would appreciate his wife taking the time to look pretty, or at least female? (and the woman I saw today took the cake, as her DD4 was sporting the same boy cut as her mom...  )
Anyone know what I'm talking about, or care to opine? |
Anonymous
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Mwahaahh! As if anyone who's "let themselves go" is going to answer.
However, as someone who has struggled with weight, been 30 pounds heavier and now is lighter, I can genuinely say my husband adores me and finds me sexy no matter what. I have always dressed nicely, though. So even when I didn't like myself heavier, husband loves me more than I apparently love myself. Who knew? |
Anonymous
| I am about 40 lbs overweight, a size 10. I have been everything from a 6 to a 16 while with my DH and he has chased me around the whole time. He thinks I am the smartest, cutest, funniest thing going. I always try to look pretty for ME...maybe he appreciates the effort, I don't know. I don't sweat it. |
Anonymous
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OP again. I am definitely not saying it's the weight. I think you can be overweight and still be gorgeous and not "loved" for your physical appearance alone. Take Oprah, for example, strong and beautiful.
What I'm saying it is, is the total checking out of appearance. Hair, weight, clothes, style, car, shoes - - everything!! It makes me think there are some ppl who just never cared, and maybe two of these ppl met, married, and had kids? If that's the case, if a tree fell in the woods would anyone hear it? How do two ppl who don't care how they look *court* each other? ROFL... |
Anonymous
What a bitch. |
Anonymous
| I guess I don't really understand the point of the original post. I'm slim, I exercise, I care about how I look, and my husband does the same. Not everyone does that. Okay. Not my problem. Not my business, either. It seems as though OP is just trying to stir things up a bit. Is she genuinely worried that a frumpy woman who drives a minivan is going to be cheated on? Perhaps it's the minivan theory of infidelity, or the car theory of personal attractiveness, or something. . . . |
Anonymous
You are sounding very much like a "mean girl". You must have been popular and catty. There are people out there with common interests who love each other. Looks are not the priority in their relationship, attraction is based on more than superficiality. I doubt that they do not care but maybe they do not have the money for nice stuff or personal care, maybe they don't care about it that much. Maybe they have thyroid issues, maybe they have very rich lives and don't care about what YOU THINK. While I understand what you are saying I think it is sad you even care. |
Anonymous
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I think the OP (with the exception of the weight), has a misguided notion of what it means to "let yourself go". Letting yourself go, at least to me, means taking or neglecting to take certain actions that result in looking less attractive. So, examples I would include would be weight, dental hygiene and care, skin care, hair care, and doing the other work of staying healthy (check-ups, exercise, eating well).
Things like driving a mini-van, what kind of shoes you wear, whether you wear your yoga pants to the grocery store, where you wear your sweatshirts, choice of tennis shoes with jeans, and "kitcsh". These are questions of style and taste, and they can be changed at any minute, as they are not part and parcel of you. Some peoples kitsch is other people's treasure. I might love a sweatshirt with a yellow lab on it for a Saturday. You might not. That doesn't mean I've let myself go and you haven't. That means we have a different sense of style. If I drive a mini-van and you drive an SUV -- again, I don't see how this pertains to "letting oneself go". Some people don't care about fashion. Some people are geeky. Some people are eccentric in their sense of style. That's not letting yourself go. This reminds me of a woman in my office who I've always maintained is a pretty woman. She wears tennis shoes with jeans, never wears make-up, has a plain haircut, and a wardrobe from Target. People would always say how "unattractive" she is, and how surprised they were that her kids are good looking. And I always argued with them that this woman, when you look at HER, is actually pretty and healthy. She has nice facial features. She has healthy hair. She has clear skin. She is thin. She has good cheekbones. She's a good height. These are the things that make up who she is, physically. She also, for whatever reason, has no time for handbags, make-up, hairstyling, high heels -- none of it. She doesn't care. Some people think this -- in and of itself -- makes her unattractive, and I will concede that she may not look as good as she could -- she may not be playing up everything she has with all of her might -- but that she is attractive. And at the end of the day, she is. I don't care what she has on her feet and that she wears outfits I wouldn't be caught dead in. She has good genes and takes care of herself. I mean, if Jillian Michaels maintained her weight and health habits and started driving a dumpy car or wearing out-of-date clothes, she'd still be Jillian Michaels. These externalities -- shoes, make-up, hairstyle, handbag -- whatever -- these are not really things that make up the physical you. I've seen LOTS of ugly women pulling out all the stops. It doesn't fool me. They're still ugly. I think the OP has certain ideas when it comes to style and fashion. And that's fine. But she's confusing style and fashion and cars with "letting yourself go." Personally, I think that to get married and then pile on a ton of weight, not take care of your skin, hair, and general health is abusive. But that's a lot different than what OP is talking about. |
Anonymous
I'm the poster who just posted a novel. I disagree with this poster. True love is not based on common interestes and getting along and being nice to each other. Physical attraction is an important element in any relationship. Some couples lose that element, and that is what is sad. But yes, there is certainly room for variety where it comes to some of the variables OP focused on. My husband might think I'm hot in a sweatshirt. Yours might not. That's why I married him and not your husband. You get it. |
Anonymous
Jillian Michaels is a MAN, baby. Sorry. I can't help it -- I think that every time I see her! |
Anonymous
| Ok, perfect example. There is speculation that Jillian Michaels may be a lesbian (I have NO IDEA if it's true). She doesn't do the leotard thing or the dancy thing and she's no waif -- she has muscle. I am not alone, however, in saying that she is TOTAL eye candy (my husband thinks so, too). This is a perfect example of you say tomato, I say tomaato. Some people may dig Jillian's look -- others not so much. But she hasn't let herself go. |
Anonymous
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I'm 17:42, and I really was just kidding (but I do think that every time I see her, even if I don't usually channel Austin Powers). I definitely don't think she's let herself go -- heavens, no. And I have given no thought to her sexual orientation.
I just don't think her face is pretty, though she would make a very handsome fella. |
Anonymous
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"are you just super confident in your marriage that your DH won't stray, do you just not care, did your DH let himself go too, what is it? I am always stumped when I see women get a Dorothy Hamill or shorter frumpy haircut, wearing sports (or kitschy animals) sweatshirts and mom jeans up to their boobs, tennis shoes with jeans, driving a van, and sporting an extra 50 lbs. I just don't get why they don't care how they look - maybe some women never did. But she has kids, and is staying home with them. You gotta figure there's a husband around who would appreciate his wife taking the time to look pretty, or at least female? (and the woman I saw today took the cake, as her DD4 was sporting the same boy cut as her mom... )
Anyone know what I'm talking about, or care to opine? " I find this funny. Keep in mind some of the things on your "letting yourself go" list are choices! Let me know go down the list.. Hair..not quite Dorothy but definetely the 90s bob. Looks good on my face and easy to manage. wearing sports (animal) sweatshirts ..animals no but sports love them! mom jeans up to boobs..no but all my jeans sit at my hips and I occasionally have plumber's butt that's an accident not a choice tennis shoes with jeans..you bet what else would your wear with jeans driving a van..nope couldn't park it extra 50lbs .no I like sports and exercise alot Now you should realize that some of the women who think hey are all pulled together look quite tacky and trampy to others. The high heels with jeans, dressing too trendy and young for your age, the big long fake finger nails, costume jewelry, or the matchy colored handbag and shoes is worse in many circles. If you SAHM what nit wit spend an hour dressing up to go to My Gym or the grocery store? If I stayed at home I would consider living in yoga pants and jeans a huge perk! Honestly men are not attracted to all the fashion and fluff that women are obsessed with. They basically want you to have boobs and frequent sex. All the men I know also could care less about the extra 10lbs-20lbs alot of women go nuts over. |
Anonymous
| I know what you mean, OP, and I have always wondered the same thing. I think some people don't care, some think it is hopeless, and some just have no (or maybe horrendous) fashion-sense. The really weird thing is that I have never actually known some one my age like that, which is odd (my aunt doesn't count). I rarely even see that type in Washington. You would have to go pretty far out in the burbs like Ashburn or Manassas, I think, to see that "look." It seems like a very midwestern type actually (like my aunt) or a suburban southern type. I think its also a very middle-middle class or lower middle class demographic. It costs money to look good, have your hair done, and buy cute clothes for a middle aged body - regardless of how tight and toned it is. Anyway, it just is what it is. It will never seem normal to you or me but, to certain populations, it just is. As for the PP talking about naturally pretty women with good hair and skin, well, sure some people with good genes also have no taste or fashion sense. Personally, I find well-groomed, well-dressed, naturally plain people more attractive, but that is just me. It is all a matter of personal preferences and taste and the people in each individual's world/community. Most people do tend to look/dress/groom similarly to those around them and I am sure there are numerous anthropological studies which discuss and prove this. |
Anonymous
PP, I think you pretty much missed the boat here. Noone else, and I mean NOONE else, mentioned fake or long finger nails, costume jewelry, trendy clothes, or any of that other tacky c-r-a-p you did. You are talking about a whole different ballgame. |