What do you consider successful outcomes in life?

[Anonymous]

This board seems so competitive, that it makes me wonder what you consider successful beyond college? So, say your star private schooler gets into a top university (Harvard, Stanford, etc...) but then decides to be a teacher, does that count and make your tuition payments worth it? Or do they forever need to be at a certain income level or career to qualify as successful and justify that extra 360k in private school tuition? Just curious. Obviously for some money is no issue (my dd is in school with many like that), but for those where that money would make a difference, what are your honest expectations for the ultimate outcome, and do you think you will be upset if after all the investment your child decides to just bum around as an adult or have a low paying career/job? 360k invested over time is also clearly worth more in future dollars. Or is the experience alone along the way enough to justify the cost?

[Anonymous]

For me, the experience along the way is enough to justify the cost. That is exactly why we do private school.

[Anonymous]

Being happy, or at least content.

[Anonymous]

Being truly successful in life has many different components.

Financial: not owing money and having money saved and having money to spend on all needs and some wants

Mental: having mental health

Emotional: being in a loving, happy, safe and supportive relationship, doing something positive in this world

Physical: taking care of body, taking care of space you inhabit

[Anonymous]

We must have God's love here on Sunday on DCUM... Such sane responses! I'm happy to read them.

[Anonymous]

Our child is in prek and we love the school so we may pay for 1-2 more years to get a good foundation. Honestly, in less you can comfortably afford it without any stress or your child has special needs (like ours), I cannot justify the cost and would far prefer to save for college. My sister and I went to public as my parents were determined to pay for all of college and graduate school. My sister went to ivy's and I went to a school that had my major that I wanted to. I'm glad we didn't go private as many of our neighbors kids did and they had to pay for their own college/graduate school and are still in debt. None have done any better or worse than we did. For my sister and her profession, an Ivy is important, for mine, no one would have cared.

[Anonymous]

I want my kid to be creative, kind, thoughtful, value the simple things, work hard, find love. I do not care if they go to an Ivy League, any college is fine with me. I don't care if they get perfect grades, only that they are working hard.

[Anonymous]

Happy, kind, ethical, self-supporting.


Being a teacher would be amazing. Great teachers are priceless.

[Anonymous]

Being happy!

And loving what I do for a living !!

[Anonymous]

Op here--great responses. So many here seem so concerned about top college acceptance, but that has so little to do with true success or happiness for me. My kid is SN which is why we are private right now, but I went to public and had wonderful experiences, and am very successful career wise. Our zoned public schools are great, and if it weren't for our SN, I'd have a hard time justifying the cost. I guess I'm saying that clearly you can have great experience and similar outcomes in both public and private, so just curious how others decide if they aren't SN and the money does matter.

[Anonymous]

For one of my kids I am just happy that we are looking at college graduation. As for next steps I hope for a job that matches DCs interests and abilities. I also hope that DC is able to manage money effectively. DC is very motivated and self directed so I think it will work out but I expect some bumps, particularly on the job front, along the way.

[Anonymous]

For us, its all about the journey and making sure DD is in an environment where she can live up to her potential, whatever that may be -- for our son that's public, for our daughter that's private. I want my kids to be happy, healthy kid and curious and have interests they pursue. … and of course, work hard in whatever path they choose.

[Anonymous]

The opportunity to choose a path that makes you happy, rather than being forced along a different path for lack of options.

[Anonymous]

I want them to be curious people who are happy, mentally healthy and enjoying life with good friendships. I don't care what profession they choose, but I do want them to have some financial security (health care, a savings account and retirement). I want them to have a great education for the sake of being well-educated and the choices that come with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do you think you will be upset if after all the investment your child decides to just bum around as an adult or have a low paying career/job?

Those strike me as two very different things. I would not be fine with my child bumming around, though I could see myself being fine with them having a low-paying job if they were still able to live a fulfilling life.

Not to be too romantic, or blithe about a huge financial expense, but having a Harvard/Stanford etc education ought to be quite valuable in its own right, irrespective of the financial opportunities it leads to. That kind of learning experience can never be taken away.