Upset about comment made by a relative

[Anonymous]

So I just started my second trimester and we just announced that I am pregnant. We were on the phone with this relative telling him the news and he asks how I am feeling, I say great, I have been very lucky I have had no morning sickness. He then says that no morning sickness is a bad sign. That comment really hurt me and now I am all worried about it!!! I am so upset he said this! I was so happy I had passed the first trimester and my fears of a miscarriage had gone away and now this comment from him brought my fears back!!! My Dr. tells me everything is fine with my pregnancy but the words from my relative keep haunting me.
Please help me feel better!

[Anonymous]

OP, don't worry. You've been to the doctor and had all the proper tests and if the doctor was worried you would be aware. I had absolutley no morning sickness when I was pregnant with my 20 month old. None. And he has to be the healthiest little boy ever. With this pregancy I am constantly sick. Each person is different and each pregnancy is different, please do not worry. I am certain if there were something wrong the dr would let you know.
The relative probably didn't mean to upset you. People don't realize what they are saying sometimes.

[Anonymous]

People with their old wives tales annoy the heck out of me. For what it's worth, I've had 2 pregnancies without any morning sickness at all and both are now beautiful active boys. I'm now pregnant with my third and spent the first trimester with all day sickness. I'll take the no morning sickness any day!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry your relative said this to you and now you are worried. I know it's hard to do, but don't let this comment get to you. Since you are in your 2nd tri your chances of miscarraige are very, very low. I had severe "all-day" sickness with both of my pg's and I think they tell us not-so-lucky ones that it's a good sign to make us feel better

Actually, I think some people just react to the changing hormones differently. My body didn't like them and made me ill, which I understand how it can be said that since I am sick the hormones might be high indicating a successful pg. Howwever, because you don't have a reaction to the hormones doesn't mean they are not there and the pg isn't going to be successful. It just means that you are lucky not to have your body react to them in a negative way.

Since your dr says everything is okay and you are in your 2nd tri, I would try not to worry about what your relative said. It sounds like you are doing great!

Congratulations on your pg and good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

I would have responed something like " Oh, really, is that information based on your last pregnancy?" My FIL is a dolt and says lots of stupid things. None of his family members tell him he's insensitive and an indiot becausae that are afraid it will hurt his feeling. Too bad, I've always told him his comments are insensitive and I'm even less tolerant as a pregnant lady.

[Anonymous]

I know comments are hard to ignore. When we told the news to one of our relatives they said really? were you trying? for some reason that stuck with me too like he was saying we weren't ready.

I am 17 weeks today and I did not get morning sickness once. When I told people that they would just make guesses and say that its a boy or a girl because I wasn't sick, I can't remember which. We should just consider ourselves lucky!!

[Anonymous]

Don't let it get you down, trust your doctor - not some ridiculous relative. I'm continually amazed at the insensitive things people say!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I had severe "all-day" sickness with both of my pg's and I think they tell us not-so-lucky ones that it's a good sign to make us feel better

I am right there with you, sister. OP, I think your relative's comment is akin to telling a bride that it is good luck to have rain on her wedding day. Whointhehell wants to get married in the rain? Or getting a drop of blood on your embroidery is good luck. No, now you have a blood stain on a piece you've worked hours and hours on.

Rejoice in feeling good. I wish to the heaven's above that I did.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, get over it. He's just a misinformed, tactless old fool. You'll meet a lot of those types in your parenting career. Get used to it and stop being so sensitive.

[Anonymous]

First, I'm sorry he upset you. But as others have said: who are you going to believe, your doctor or someone with no medical training whatsoever?

Also, get used to it! And I mean that in the nicest way possible. There is something about a pregnant woman that makes everyone lose whatever mental filter they may have had that keeps them from saying idiotic, rude, offensive things. From what I hear, that continues after you have the baby, too.

[Anonymous]

Op here- Thanks everyone for your help!

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately you will find that there are many mis-informed people who will chose to comment on your pregnancy. Just try to ignore them. I had one person in my office who kept telling me how dangerous it was for "older women" to have children. This was during my first (morning sickness free) pregnancy -- I have since given birth to three additional healthy children over the past 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Getting pregnant is like glueing a sign to your forehead that says, "Please project all your insecurity, shadenfreude, and assorted silliness here." It's easier said than done, I know, but try to shake it off.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this upset you but it's time to learn to ignore or take with a grain of salt everything you hear from relatives, friends, co-workers, and ransom people making comments in the grocery store line. Small talk becomes advice, often bad advice, when pregnancy and child raising become the subject.

From MIL..Are you fat yet? When I had my kids I only gained 10lbs. You should eat watermelon.
From SIL on my bedrest orders for PE..They thought I had it but did a test and I didn't have it. My pregnancy books said very few people ever get it, you probably don't have it. Are you sure this isn't just an excuse not to go out with us?

[Anonymous]

Enjoy not being sick! I heard the same thing when I was preg w/ #1. On TV they had a report saying morning sickness was a sign of a healthy preg. I hadn't been sick once, so I was a bit worried but I was in my 3rd tri by the time I heard this. My little boy was just fine.
This time around, I've had the all-day sickness. It's awful. So enjoy and consider yourself one of the lucky ones.