Expensive high school tutors

[Anonymous]

My DD is a junior in high school and an excellent student. Last year her rank was first in her class of over 350 students. At the beginning of this year, a new girl moved to the area from an elite, bilingual (English/French) private school in Paris and started at DD's very highly ranked public high school. She is an American but has been living abroad since she was 5. She is also an excellent student. Her family has a great deal of money and has a tutor for her in English and History. The tutor proof reads all her papers and makes suggestions on how to better them as well as types transcripts of the girl's AP history and AP English class (she tapes these classes). She also has a private SAT tutor.

The semester's grades came in and this girl is now first in the class. I don't think this is fair at all. We cannot afford special tutors for our daughter and these tutors are obviously giving this girl the edge in school.

I don't know if there is anything I can do about this. Because of her former school, this new girl is taking AP Calculus as a junior which my daughter cannot take because of the mathematics class structure of our public school system. She is also taking AP Latin - again, which DD cannot take because of the language structure. Hence, she has two more AP classes to boost her GPA that DD cannot have through no fault of her own.

I know I am competitive and a stage-door mother (not Asian and not a Tiger Mom) but regardless this new girl's money and educational advantages do not seem fair to me.

[Anonymous]

You seem to know a lot of detailed information about some stranger in your daughter's class. Very creepy.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do.

Your daughter may also have advantages that have helped her outperform other students who are equally talented and deserving.

[Anonymous]

Of course its fair for her to have a tutor. It sucks for your kid that she can't afford it but it's still fair.

Don't be a bitter Betty - that attitude will rub off on your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to know a lot of detailed information about some stranger in your daughter's class. Very creepy.

OP here. And this new girl is a friend of my daughter's and is in her very close circle of friends.

[Anonymous]

People, you have to stop falling for these trolls.

[Anonymous]

As much as I hate how "money talks" in regard to tutors, expensive private SAT prep classes and expensive college planners (the ones who help with applications) there is nothing you can do.

And yes, it is why so many rich kids are in the top schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, you have to stop falling for these trolls.

OP here and I wish I were a troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People, you have to stop falling for these trolls.

OP here and I wish I were a troll!

OK. If you're not trolling, you're posting WAY too many details in a public forum.

[Anonymous]

The fact that this girl is doing better than your daughter should not matter to you. It will not impact your daughter's future. Does your daughter care? So far, everything you wrote tells me that you care about this more than your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that this girl is doing better than your daughter should not matter to you. It will not impact your daughter's future. Does your daughter care? So far, everything you wrote tells me that you care about this more than your daughter.

OP again and yes, my daughter cares. She has worked so hard and wants to be valedictorian very, very much. And yes, other kid's scores most definitely impact my DD's acceptance into college.

[Anonymous]

Rich kids always have had and always will have the advantage. Often transfer students do as well. In my class in high school there was a killer sophomore class requirement that knocked everyone's GPA down a peg. A transfer student came in junior year who was not required to take the class and ended up #1 in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People, you have to stop falling for these trolls.

OP here and I wish I were a troll!

OK. If you're not trolling, you're posting WAY too many details in a public forum.

We're in California and I changed many parallel details. Doubtful anyone from DD's school knows this forum even exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that this girl is doing better than your daughter should not matter to you. It will not impact your daughter's future. Does your daughter care? So far, everything you wrote tells me that you care about this more than your daughter.

OP again and yes, my daughter cares. She has worked so hard and wants to be valedictorian very, very much. And yes, other kid's scores most definitely impact my DD's acceptance into college.

How do they impact your daughters acceptance? You do not have a clue as to how college acceptance works. Class rank may matter, but that would be top 5% vs top 20%, not #1 or #2. In the long term, you are just teaching your daughter to worry about things she can not control. She can control how well she does...not the performance of anyone else (even if they have advantages)...#2 in the class is good...and it will not change the SAT scores...she can still go to Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that this girl is doing better than your daughter should not matter to you. It will not impact your daughter's future. Does your daughter care? So far, everything you wrote tells me that you care about this more than your daughter.

OP again and yes, my daughter cares. She has worked so hard and wants to be valedictorian very, very much. And yes, other kid's scores most definitely impact my DD's acceptance into college.

How do they impact your daughters acceptance? You do not have a clue as to how college acceptance works. Class rank may matter, but that would be top 5% vs top 20%, not #1 or #2. In the long term, you are just teaching your daughter to worry about things she can not control. She can control how well she does...not the performance of anyone else (even if they have advantages)...#2 in the class is good...and it will not change the SAT scores...she can still go to Harvard.

Not OP but test scores and averages do impact a child's acceptance into college. Those fancy test prep places and SAT tutors raise the rich kids scores and throw off the curve. Plus many top schools, although they deny it, will not accept two kids from the same high school.