Private surrogacy -- am I possibly a candidate?
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Anonymous
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I don't really know the propriety of posting this here, if it's not the right place or it's upsetting to anyone, please let me know and I'll ask Jeff to pull it.
A woman I know and respect recently shared (not with me directly, but in a more general way) that they are looking for a surrogate for private surrogacy. Surrogacy has always appealed to me in theory and I feel very drawn to it in this case, but I suspect I'm presumptively not a candidate, and don't want to get her hopes up only to disappoint her when I'm ruled out by my medical history. I'm 37, moderately overweight (willing to put my best effort into losing some weight if necessary; otherwise in very good health), I have two kids (and we're done), no difficulties conceiving and never had a miscarriage. Last child was born 4 years ago. The big downsides -- in my first pregnant, I was induced at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia, and in my second, I didn't develop preeclampsia but did have a premature breakdown of the placenta that was discovered when I delivered at 40 weeks (fortunately no neurological damage as a result). Will my history with these pregnancies (or my age/weight), that I've never had a truly complication-free pregnancy, preclude me from being considered as a surrogate, even privately rather than through an agency? I realize there's a screening process and I could be turned down for other reasons. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| No doctor is ever going to approve you to be a surrogate. Given your age and medical history it is a completely ridiculous question. |
Anonymous
| I would think your age would preclude it. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, no way. Unless it's for a relative or something. Surrogates have to have a stellar record-- the chances of success have to be high enough to make it worth the time, money, and effort that the couple goes through. Sorry but there's just too much at stake.
If you feel called to work in this area, perhaps you could find other ways of volunteering. |
Anonymous
| The preeclampsia knocks you right off the list. No sense in wasting anyone's time. You're not a candidate. |
Anonymous
That was rude. Someone's interested in doing something nice, and you can't even manage to answer in a civil manner? |
Anonymous
+1 Some folks on this forum just psychologically unstable and/or have anger issues. No wonder they can't get pregnant. Stress is huge deal in this process. and it seems like this PP has huge issues with handdling it. |
Anonymous
| Actually the upper limit for surrogacy is 42 years old. However, given your difficulties in your own pregnancies you would probably not meet criteria. You're a thoughtful generous person though, no one can take that away. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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OP, this is very thoughtful and generous of you. But as the others have said, your medical history will probably preclude you from being a gestational carrier.
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Anonymous
| It is thoughtful of you - prior preclampsia is a definite rule out factor. |
Anonymous
| OP, I agree with the other but I wanted to say that you are so incredibly kind and selfless to even think about it. |
Anonymous
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I think your past health issues would create a lot of extra stress for this couple, who've presumably have already been through a lot.
You want to do something nice, but it could end up causing them more stress and worry. I think you should gracefully step aside and let them pursue other options. |
Anonymous
| Wow that's one of the most selfless things to do. While I know nothing about the prerequisites of surrogacy so I can't comment on that, I just wanted to say you must be a great person! |
Anonymous
| OP It is very difficult to find a great surrogate. I would let a doctor make the judgment. You have two healthy children. |