Private surrogacy -- am I possibly a candidate?
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Anonymous
| Very generous and wonderful of you to think of it. We were so blessed that an incredible woman served as a GC for me and my husband and we were able to safely have healthy, happy twins. Having been through the process - prior pregnancy complications are a definite rule out factor for being a GC (I actually had a stillbirth and nearly died from severe preclampsia), but maybe there are other ways you can help be of support to her. |
Anonymous
That is so rude! OP, I think you should ask a doctor. I am sure you'll be ruled out due to medical issues (not your age) but you will know for yourself that you tried but couldn't help. It's very thoughtful of you to do this. |
Anonymous
| OP - agree. Very nice of you, but in addition to the preeclampsia being a risk for the baby, it is also a risk for you. You wouldn't want to risk leaving your own sweet kids for this. |
Anonymous
| 8:47 PP here - since it's 100% clear that you are not actually eligible - it would actually add more complication and possibly expense to follow the advice to talk to a doctor about it - by the time someone is pursuing a GC, they have gone through a lot of different complications and disappointments already -- so I just want to strongly counter the advice that others are giving about going to taking steps to talk to a doctor about it unless it's informal and for you. It is a really thoughtful impulse and desire on your part, but would counsel that it's something you can quietly rest assured with knowing you would've done it. |
Anonymous
|
As a family that had children via surrogacy, I can say that you would not be an acceptable candidate for any agency or clinic. Your only chance is via a private surrogacy, but from our experience through two clinics and two REs, neither RE would have accepted you as a surrogate. We had a candidate that was more acceptable than you, but our second RE told us flat out that the first thing we needed to change was the surrogate because of her issues.
You are overage (agencies look for roughly 24-30, the one exception I saw was 32 and she had been a successful mother and twice a surrogate prior with no health issues and all healthy deliveries), you are overweight (our RE gave our former candidate exactly 60 days to lose all of the overage asking her to immediately go on a strict South Beach diet), and have had issues in both of your pregnancies. Most candidates have NO issues for any candidates. The point is that the intended parents will be spending a lot of money and emotional investment. Plus many of them are older families and time is also an issue. You are very compassionate and it is very kind of you to consider such a precious gift. I can tell you that it means the world to most IPs, but unfortunately, you are not a good candidate and it would be risky for IPs to accept you as a surrogate. |
Anonymous
| Heard you all, loud and clear. I'm letting the idea die and will not say a word. |
Anonymous
OP - just wanted to underscore what others have said: it's a really kind thing that you considered this. Kind and compassionate. |
Anonymous
| I agree that it's incredibly generous and kind of you to consider this, OP. |