DH makes no effort to spend time with me

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have been married for 7 years.
I work long hours and try to spend as much time with him as I can.
I initiate all activity, aside from Netflix on the couch (which is his go to suggestion).
I take the time to make reservations and look nice for him. We will have a nice time at dinner, come home and the first thing he does is takes his pants and gets on his laptop. I sit there and wait for any scrap of attention I can get from him.
I'm done! I refuse to initiate any sort of interaction, since he seems to have no problem doing it to me.
Why do men do this?

[Anonymous]

He's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's just not that into you.

Helpful.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him.

[Anonymous]

Can you talk to him about this? Explain to him the idea of love language and that quality time is one of yours?

I would tell him that if he expects to have sex at all, you will need time and effort from him.

No quality time= no sex. period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's just not that into you.

Thank you for that.

[Anonymous]

My wife does the same thing. Why do women do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's just not that into you.

Helpful.

She didn't ask how to fix it, she asked why men do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife does the same thing. Why do women do this?

IDK, try starting your own thread instead of hijacking OP's. Or glean some tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife does the same thing. Why do women do this?

I do it because my husband is passive-aggressive and unkind. I prefer spending the bare minimum of time with him to picking something he'll agree to and sulk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife does the same thing. Why do women do this?

I do it because my husband is passive-aggressive and unkind. I prefer spending the bare minimum of time with him to picking something he'll agree to and sulk about.

x2

[Anonymous]

OP, I have been married 7 years too. This is kind of typical, I think. Just talk to him. Tell him you would like more attention/time together. DH and I found things we like to do together. We watch tv together (which can't be the only thing you do together), we go dancing, or we even play chess together.

[Anonymous]

OP - Don't reproduce with this guy. It will only get worse.
Next time, marry a guy who REALY wants to spend time with you.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Don't reproduce with this guy. It will only get worse.
Next time, marry a guy who REALY wants to spend time with you.

Good luck.

Realy?

[Anonymous]

OP - in your scenario you've just come back from dinner with DH. Wasn't that quality time? How much more attention do you need and what exactly is it you want him to do?
Also, is there any chance he is an only child and you are not? Some people like a little quiet "off" time by themselves, while others can't stand to be left to their own devices. So maybe it's just a personality difference?