LIVID, was that you on NPR this evening?

[Anonymous]

There was a story on all things considered about bans on federal funding of late-term abortions and they interviewed a woman from DC who had a story similar to yours. Was that you? If so, you sounded great!

[Anonymous]

Bump. Love you LIVID and thanks for all your hard work!

[Anonymous]

For those who don't know what we are talking about, here is LIVID's original thread:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/43182.page

[Anonymous]

LIVID here. I didn't hear the piece. I spoke at a press conference once and months later they used a snippet in another abortion story. My husband heard the story on NPR on his way to work and called me asking if I knew I was going to be on NPR that morning. I doubt it was me. It has been over six years since I terminated my pregnancy and I wasn't late term.

[Anonymous]

Here's the NPR piece: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/01/22/378852507/states-continue-push-to-ban-abortions-after-20-weeks

The woman needed a late-term abortion 6 years ago after her baby was diagnosed with anencephaly.

[Anonymous]

LIVID again. I just listened to the story. Nope, not me. I found out early at 11 weeks. I still do volunteer for repro rights organizations. 42 years and it is worse than ever.

[Anonymous]

Props to you LIVID. Still remember your original posts and all the work that's been done since. Hope you and your family are well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Props to you LIVID. Still remember your original posts and all the work that's been done since. Hope you and your family are well.

+1

[Anonymous]

I;m so sorry LIVID for what you went through- physically emotionally and then much more from the insurance company! I had 4 m/c in a row.. so incredibly hard, I cannot imagine having to fight D&Cs for each of them. Can you please update on your situation? On our side, we did have a child, and then a LOT of IF treatment and really, right when I had to accept we could not have another child, our second child was conceived (via IVF- had three eggs, pathetic but true, one was nothing, the other two had hope, one was a m/c and the other is our daughter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I;m so sorry LIVID for what you went through- physically emotionally and then much more from the insurance company! I had 4 m/c in a row.. so incredibly hard, I cannot imagine having to fight D&Cs for each of them. Can you please update on your situation? On our side, we did have a child, and then a LOT of IF treatment and really, right when I had to accept we could not have another child, our second child was conceived (via IVF- had three eggs, pathetic but true, one was nothing, the other two had hope, one was a m/c and the other is our daughter).

Clarification- first child was after the 4 m/c - 3 years- another 4 for our second child.. we are blessed and just know this is it- it was a miracle for both kids already.

[Anonymous]

LIVID here. Here is the update. My husband and I don't have children. After going through 9 rounds of IVF we were done. I had 4 rounds with my own eggs and then I did 5 rounds of DE. I found out late in the process that I have immune issues. I saw Braverman in NY and was treated for the immune issues with the last round but it didn't take. We had the home study to begin the adoption process but found that we don't have the emotional energy to go through another gut wrenching process. In addition, at this point we are almost 7 years older, which makes a big difference. Both of us would be close to 50 by the time that we adopted a child. When I got pregnant I was just shy of my 40th birthday and my husband was just 42. We want to be able to retire at some point and were ok with sending a kid to college and retiring just after they graduated, but now we would be close to 70 when the child left the nest. We are both very healthy, eat right, exercise daily blah blah, but I'm still not sure that is fair to a child.

I still mourn the loss of what I won't have. I think about missing the milestones and not having a relationship with a child long term. However, looking at things now and seeing my friends (who have started way earlier) I'm not so sad about missing the day-to-day parenting. Even though we still generally have lots of energy, looking in from the outside at the day to day stuff feels more exhausting to me than it did 7 years ago.

For now, I'm still trying to figure out how to "leave my legacy." I am a very fortunate person. I have an education, loving parents and family, great friends, and the best husband in the world. I want to give back in some way. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it. I volunteer for all kinds of causes but I'm thinking about getting more deeply involved in one. I have some ideas about getting involved and becoming a sex/repro rights educator for at risk youth or something else in the repro rights arena. My husband and I are also big animal lovers so we may get more involved with a rescue organization beyond just adopting pets from them.

Thanks all of you for your support. It is really lovely and I have appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, LIVID. I really appreciate you going forward with your story and all that you've done in the meantime. I'm sorry having kids didn't work out for you but glad you sound healthy and happy. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, Livid!!! You are awesome and I wish all the best for you.

[Anonymous]

LIVID - did BCBS end up covering the procedure? I didn't see a final response in the link to your original post. I went to have my D&C (natural miscarriage at about 7 weeks) and the surgery center called the reason for my D&C a "missed abortion." I wasn't too happy about that during that very fragile/upsetting time. I'm pro-choice but didn't feel that term was appropriate for a misscarriage.

[Anonymous]

LIVID here. No the procedure was not covered. I was able to negotiate the rate down to what BCBS would have paid had it been covered for the hospital, my doctor and the anesthesiologist. The total was about 5000 instead of 9000.

I visited around 35 Senate offices and talked to Senators and staffers in the winter of 2009 to tell my story. At the time, there was a good chance that the rider that gets renewed every year in the appropriations bill was going to be taken out. In fact, Durbin had taken it out of the bill but then the debates on the ACA started and the appropriations bills were all tabled until after the ACA was passed. We all saw what happened in that debate. During the debate over funds/abortion/exchanges Sen. Feinstein told my story on the Senate floor which was pretty cool. She was the original person to take up my "cause" if you will. Her staff was completely outraged. Sadly, my side lost and politicians are still prohibiting coverage to Feds, Military, Peace Corps and anyone buying with a subsidy under the ACA.