s/o going from SN private to mainstream private

[Anonymous]

Right now, my child is young and there is no question that he needs the support that a SN private provides, plus does better in a small environment. However, as he gets older, I'm hoping that he'll get to experience a bigger school setting and may be able to do well in a mainstream environment.

Obviously, there's not crystal ball for development and I'm committed to doing what is best for my child at all ages. But, assuming that, by middle school, he is able to go to a mainstream private, will schools look at his application with an open mind, or will coming from a SN school brand him?

[Anonymous]

Good question. I worry about the same thing. Would be interested in hearing from parents whose kids made or tried to make the switch.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to send my kid to a school that would "brand" him.

You could talk to your current school about where kids go afterwards. Other similar SN schools may also that info on their website, e.g, where kids go later on.

If your kid is able to do the work (possibly with support) there are private schools out there that will accept him. Heck, there are even privates that have support programs built in, like St. Johns.

[Anonymous]

IMHO SN schools don't "brand" kids. I certainly don't "brand" mine. If anything, they SN schools bend over backwards to build up the self-confidence at a very critical age that many SN kids have lost because they were pummeled down by the less-knowledgeable public or private school teachers. One of the jobs of the SN faculty is to show the kids the innate talents they have and demonstrate to them that they have value. I will be forever grateful to Commonwealth Academy for doing that for my DC.

[Anonymous]

There are kids at "mainstream" private schools that came from schools that work with some SN so, they don't just throw an application in the trash if the kids comes from private that works with SN. I'm sure it's case by case. They want to make sure they are a fit for the kid. A school like say Sidwell would probably less likely to take a child from a school that works with SN because they probably don't have much in place to help, but we know kids at St. Andrews who had more needs when younger and who still had some mild needs. I think most get private tutoring, but it's working out so there you go.

[Anonymous]

Would also be curious to know: How do SN private prepare the kids to go to mainstream private? I would imagine a huge transition from a small classroom with full support to large classroom with no support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would also be curious to know: How do SN private prepare the kids to go to mainstream private? I would imagine a huge transition from a small classroom with full support to large classroom with no support.

I would love to know this as well. My DD is on the younger side. She's in PEP and being transitioned to mainstream K next year with no support. We're going from 8:2 plus extra support as needed to public K--- 21/22:1. So far the plan from the IEP team is "she'll be fine".

I'd like a better transition than that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would also be curious to know: How do SN private prepare the kids to go to mainstream private? I would imagine a huge transition from a small classroom with full support to large classroom with no support.

They don't. But if all your child needs is a small class size then a mainstream private maybe an option.

[Anonymous]

We have a good story...so far! DS received DX in 6th grade (after nightmare first semester in large public MS) of slow processing, ADHD inattentive, writing processing disorder and moved to private SN school for 7th and 8th. More than anything he wanted to go to a large HS with major sports program since sports is what he does beat. Private SN school was wonderful about completing recs for new private but cautioned us several times that DS would struggle if not fail without all the SN supports. The school knew him well and we had a plan b to return to SN private school if necessary. DS just finished first semester at WCAC catholic HS and is a B- mostly student but is so very socially fulfilled. For him, maturity and willingness to work with a tutor twice a week to get ahead of the work ha made the difference. One of the many wonderful things that SN private did for DS was to teach him to understand himself WF that it will likely take him extra time to think about a response before he writes it and that he needs a ton or repetition to memorize vocab. Also he does a lot of his studying with a ball in his hand because the fidgets free his mind to focus on a task.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would also be curious to know: How do SN private prepare the kids to go to mainstream private? I would imagine a huge transition from a small classroom with full support to large classroom with no support.

Small classrooms maybe, but not every kid at SN schools need to be supported in everything. If they do, they may not make it to a mainstream school.

Conversely, there are kids at mainstream publics and privates who receive various levels of support. A kid could transfer from a SN to mainstream and still need and receive some type of support. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

I hate to be the buzzkill here but we found huge prejudice when trying to transition. We did the SN route from pre-K through 1 and our child did tremendously well and was clearly miles ahead of peers with respect to readiness to transition to a mainstream school. But when we interviewed at other private schools we had one hell of a time getting in, and got rejected at several.

In our case it worked out miraculously well -- one school looked past the SN background at our child's significant talents and potential (which included strong academic performance, various artistic talents, high achievement scores, and boundless positive enthusiasm). Child is now performing at the top of the class in a good mainstream school -- indeed, one far stronger than a couple that had given us rejections. A year and a half in, it's overwhelmingly clear that our child would have been one of the strongest students in any of the other schools we applied to, a lead performer in any mainstream class (we felt this already based on performance in extracurriculars but have had it proved in spades since moving over).

In retrospect I almost shudder with fear over how hard it might have been had we tried to make the transition at a later year. We found the anti-SN prejudice very powerful even coming out of first grade.

[Anonymous]

PP -- qwhere did you end up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be the buzzkill here but we found huge prejudice when trying to transition. We did the SN route from pre-K through 1 and our child did tremendously well and was clearly miles ahead of peers with respect to readiness to transition to a mainstream school. But when we interviewed at other private schools we had one hell of a time getting in, and got rejected at several.

In our case it worked out miraculously well -- one school looked past the SN background at our child's significant talents and potential (which included strong academic performance, various artistic talents, high achievement scores, and boundless positive enthusiasm). Child is now performing at the top of the class in a good mainstream school -- indeed, one far stronger than a couple that had given us rejections. A year and a half in, it's overwhelmingly clear that our child would have been one of the strongest students in any of the other schools we applied to, a lead performer in any mainstream class (we felt this already based on performance in extracurriculars but have had it proved in spades since moving over).

In retrospect I almost shudder with fear over how hard it might have been had we tried to make the transition at a later year. We found the anti-SN prejudice very powerful even coming out of first grade.

Plenty of kids without SN get rejected at private schools. Maybe your child had an off day visiting or maybe it just wasn't a good fit. You have no way of knowing if there was prejudice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be the buzzkill here but we found huge prejudice when trying to transition. We did the SN route from pre-K through 1 and our child did tremendously well and was clearly miles ahead of peers with respect to readiness to transition to a mainstream school. But when we interviewed at other private schools we had one hell of a time getting in, and got rejected at several.

In our case it worked out miraculously well -- one school looked past the SN background at our child's significant talents and potential (which included strong academic performance, various artistic talents, high achievement scores, and boundless positive enthusiasm). Child is now performing at the top of the class in a good mainstream school -- indeed, one far stronger than a couple that had given us rejections. A year and a half in, it's overwhelmingly clear that our child would have been one of the strongest students in any of the other schools we applied to, a lead performer in any mainstream class (we felt this already based on performance in extracurriculars but have had it proved in spades since moving over).

In retrospect I almost shudder with fear over how hard it might have been had we tried to make the transition at a later year. We found the anti-SN prejudice very powerful even coming out of first grade.

Plenty of kids without SN get rejected at private schools. Maybe your child had an off day visiting or maybe it just wasn't a good fit. You have no way of knowing if there was prejudice.

Fair enough, though we have a pretty good idea. Most of these never got to the visit stage. Our child is almost universally a teacher favorite at every camp, class and school attended. Strangely the rejections came from those who turned down sight unseen. So, true, no way to know for sure, but it seems a weird coincidence that the rejections came from the places looking at the school background and not at the child, while those who have worked with the child (often without knowledge of the SN background) have had only praise and an eagerness to work with again.

Given the child's subsequent success in school, we feel on pretty solid ground in discerning some prejudice. One school even attributed certain characteristics to our child based on the fact that others at DC's SN school had those issues, even though our child didn't. It was pretty clear they were projecting an image onto DC rather than showing a willingness to evaluate as an individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be the buzzkill here but we found huge prejudice when trying to transition. We did the SN route from pre-K through 1 and our child did tremendously well and was clearly miles ahead of peers with respect to readiness to transition to a mainstream school. But when we interviewed at other private schools we had one hell of a time getting in, and got rejected at several.

In our case it worked out miraculously well -- one school looked past the SN background at our child's significant talents and potential (which included strong academic performance, various artistic talents, high achievement scores, and boundless positive enthusiasm). Child is now performing at the top of the class in a good mainstream school -- indeed, one far stronger than a couple that had given us rejections. A year and a half in, it's overwhelmingly clear that our child would have been one of the strongest students in any of the other schools we applied to, a lead performer in any mainstream class (we felt this already based on performance in extracurriculars but have had it proved in spades since moving over).

In retrospect I almost shudder with fear over how hard it might have been had we tried to make the transition at a later year. We found the anti-SN prejudice very powerful even coming out of first grade.

Plenty of kids without SN get rejected at private schools. Maybe your child had an off day visiting or maybe it just wasn't a good fit. You have no way of knowing if there was prejudice.

Fair enough, though we have a pretty good idea. Most of these never got to the visit stage. Our child is almost universally a teacher favorite at every camp, class and school attended. Strangely the rejections came from those who turned down sight unseen. So, true, no way to know for sure, but it seems a weird coincidence that the rejections came from the places looking at the school background and not at the child, while those who have worked with the child (often without knowledge of the SN background) have had only praise and an eagerness to work with again.

Given the child's subsequent success in school, we feel on pretty solid ground in discerning some prejudice. One school even attributed certain characteristics to our child based on the fact that others at DC's SN school had those issues, even though our child didn't. It was pretty clear they were projecting an image onto DC rather than showing a willingness to evaluate as an individual.

Btw, I should add to other anecdotes that support the prejudice theory:

1) Another child left our SN school a year earlier and had the same experience. Couldn't get into any of the schools they most wanted. Wound up making a desperation choice school, re-applied a year later -- and got in everywhere. Parent concluded, reasonably, that washing the SN label off the child was the primary reason for the different results.
2) Another family, based on our two experiences, redacted info from school applications, including SN background. Was able to dodge questions because had just moved, said new to area, and was just coming into K, so said no transcript. Was accepted where we hadn't been, although our child's challenges were significantly less.

Also, in our case, one of the schools had tentatively scheduled a visit for us. It was abruptly canceled and our application declined. In questioning after the fact, we learned that the head of school had called around to get general info on the SN school we were coming from, and the decision not to invite us for a visit was made that same day. So yes, it's impossible to know for sure, but it seems reasonable to hypothesize a fair amount of prejudice in the application process.