Little sister is engaged to a 50 year old. Oh boy!
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Technically not engaged yet, but he has asked her. She is thinking about it, but I'm afraid she'll say yes.
I haven't said too much to her about this relationship so far, but I don't know if I should make my concerns known. She is 30 years old . I do not get it at all. I think she is using this as an escape from dealing with her life as it is. Our relationship is somewhat strained and I do not want to push her away but I'm seriously worried for her. |
Anonymous
| She's an adult. Butt out. |
Anonymous
| It sucks but some mistakes you just have to make for yourself. If she does say yes maybe they'll break up before the wedding. |
Anonymous
| She's a grown ass woman, OP. |
Anonymous
| Anything about him personally you don't like? Or kust his age? |
Anonymous
| My parents were 19 years apart and were married for 40 years. Is there something specific you don't like about the guy? I could see objecting if she were 19, but she's 30. They're both adults. What's wrong? |
Anonymous
This. 30 is no kid. She will do what she desires and she needs no input from you. |
Anonymous
| My husband is 15 years older than me and my older sister made a big stink about our age difference and tried to get my mom involved in it etc. She lost that battle, OP. We have been very happily married going on 5 years now and I have zero regrets. |
Anonymous
| If your relationship is strained don't say anything unless she asks for your opinion. |
Anonymous
|
OP here:
He is from what a nice guy, but seems a bit of a playboy. From what I know of him. His age does bother me a bit, but mostly I'm bothered by how sudden this is. I know she is 30 but she is a very young thirty . Is and has always been very flighty. Jumping from A to Z in basically everything. Just a few months ago when she had her birthday she wanted to end her life now she's with him and everything is wonderful. I'm just scared that she is throwing herself in this as an escape. Yes she is 30 but she will forever be my little sis and I don't want to see her hurt. |
Anonymous
Are you single or married? |
Anonymous
| My cousin got married at 26, to a 54 year old. That was over 20 years ago, and they are still happily married. I agree with the others, MYOB. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
If your sister was suicidal a year ago, that's what I'd focus on being concerned about, not this dude. (If he were a playboy he wouldn't have proposed.)
I'd focus on strengthening the bond you have with her. One way would be to genuinely try to get to know this man better and find the merit that your sister sees in him. If all she hears from you is concern that she is flighty or unstable, she will never be open to your presence in her life. Show curiosity about her, not concern. Show devotion, not disdain. Get to know this man more. |
Anonymous
|
She wasn't suicidal a year ago she was suicidal as of June when she turned 30.
She met him a couple months later . This is her pattern I truly believe she is untreated bipolar I don't even know if he knows that about her. A few weeks or a month from or so from now when she's in the next phase I think this will be bad. |