Little sister is engaged to a 50 year old. Oh boy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your sister was suicidal a year ago, that's what I'd focus on being concerned about, not this dude. (If he were a playboy he wouldn't have proposed.)

I'd focus on strengthening the bond you have with her. One way would be to genuinely try to get to know this man better and find the merit that your sister sees in him. If all she hears from you is concern that she is flighty or unstable, she will never be open to your presence in her life.

Show curiosity about her, not concern. Show devotion, not disdain. Get to know this man more.

I suppose you are right. I don't want to make things worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your sister was suicidal a year ago, that's what I'd focus on being concerned about, not this dude. (If he were a playboy he wouldn't have proposed.)

I'd focus on strengthening the bond you have with her. One way would be to genuinely try to get to know this man better and find the merit that your sister sees in him. If all she hears from you is concern that she is flighty or unstable, she will never be open to your presence in her life.

Show curiosity about her, not concern. Show devotion, not disdain. Get to know this man more.

Not OP but I hope you realize that this is far from a general statement.

[Anonymous]

Just be glad she found something to live for, even if you don't like what that something is. Find other ways to strengthen your relationship with her and/or encourage development of other supports and healthy activities. You can't run her life, but you can be thankful that she is still alive bd go from there.

[Anonymous]

And not bd

[Anonymous]

My 32 yr old AA sister is engaged to a 50 yr old Caucasian man that has never been married before. This relationship has been very difficult for our family. My advice is to calmly express your concerns and then be supportive of her happiness. Easier said than done though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wasn't suicidal a year ago she was suicidal as of June when she turned 30.
She met him a couple months later .

This is her pattern I truly believe she is untreated bipolar I don't even know if he knows that about her.

A few weeks or a month from or so from now when she's in the next phase I think this will be bad.

Your sister sounds a lot like me. My advice is to be as supportive as possible. I've only dated older men. My parents totally disagree with my choices. I break up with the guys to please my parents and I end up alone ending relationships that truly made me happy.

[Anonymous]

OP, I find your post very puzzling, like a gossip text.

What is your agenda here? You mention in a casual follow up that she was suicidal recently.

You really sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like an older man might be good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wasn't suicidal a year ago she was suicidal as of June when she turned 30.
She met him a couple months later .

This is her pattern I truly believe she is untreated bipolar I don't even know if he knows that about her.

A few weeks or a month from or so from now when she's in the next phase I think this will be bad.

From someone dealing with a truly suicidal 30 year-old sister with a personality disorder, let this go. They are adults and make their own decision, and you only suffer by trying to "help." They are the only one's who can help themselves.

[Anonymous]

Niece was 28 when she married a 60 year old. The now have two gorgeous children ages 4 and 1. It works for them.

[Anonymous]

She has to think about it? If she wanted to be with him, she'd accept the proposal right away. You're right to be concerned.
There's always divorce....just hope that she doesn't get knocked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Niece was 28 when she married a 60 year old. The now have two gorgeous children ages 4 and 1. It works for them.

Gross

[Anonymous]

She needs somebody to take care of her. Many women are like that. Let it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wasn't suicidal a year ago she was suicidal as of June when she turned 30.
She met him a couple months later .

This is her pattern I truly believe she is untreated bipolar I don't even know if he knows that about her.

A few weeks or a month from or so from now when she's in the next phase I think this will be bad.

Sounds like the guy has more to be worried about than your sister.

[Anonymous]

How do these young women meet these older guys? What attracts them? What makes them stay? Curious. Don't mean to derail.