I gave up 48 embryos for adoption

[Anonymous]

and i feel so sad that they will never know how much i loved them... they will be amazing kids i know it. i'm a phd. i'm indian, my husband is white...i have two babies of my own but i feel a sense of loss. i wish i could have left them my info..to find me one day. why does it hurt so much?

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh. I feel for you, I really do. It does sound like those kids will be amazing.

I'm Indian too and we're TTC #2.


Do you have regrets? Or do you feel you made the right decision but still have sad feelings at the loss?

[Anonymous]

What an awesome and incredible gift you have given! Seriously, there is no greater gift.

Perhaps your 48 will turn in to many more children or perhaps not. Would it would be less painful to think that maybe they won't? I used to wonder this when we were ready to adopt ours to other couples. As things have worked out our first 2 fresh blasts became our twins and we've been putting embryo after embryo back (all blasts) in hopes of a third child None have stuck (12+).

I hope you find peace in your decision.

[Anonymous]

That is an amazing gift. I'm sure it must be difficult to think about, but I hope you're able to remember what joy they will bring into the lives of their parents. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Feeling very ignorant, but how does that 'work'--are these already fertilzed embryos that will be implanted in a womb and 'grow from there'...just curious to know how this miracle can happen!
Best Wishes to the OP and the 48 babies to be!

[Anonymous]

You are stronger than I could ever be.

[Anonymous]

Feeling very ignorant, but how does that 'work'--are these already fertilzed embryos that will be implanted in a womb and 'grow from there'...just curious to know how this miracle can happen!
Best Wishes to the OP and the 48 babies to be!

When you donate embryos they are fertilized, frozen embryos which are transferred to another woman's womb. Whether they implant and lead to pregancy and a live birth will vary by embryo quality, etc. At Shady Grove (local large clinic) the rate of successful birth from frozen transfer is about 27%. So it is not a given that these 48 will turn into 48 children but there is a decent chance that some of them will.

It's an amazing gift to give!

[Anonymous]

Don't you worry that those embryos that will eventually become babies will grow up and perhaps will meet your children in the future (at college or any other setting) not knowing that they are brothers/sisters? Not critizicing or anything, I think what you did is great and hopefully will help others be parents, but that sole idea will freak me out.

[Anonymous]

op here: thanks guys. it's such a hard decision, but i look at my girls every day and know i made the right one. i'm 38 years old and trying to conceive more children is not possible for health reasons.

you are right...the kids could meet and never know...i never really thought about that before. i feel more a sense of loss that they will never be able to find me.... i don't think there are any records of me or the fertility clinic. that just breaks my heart. if they aren't happy, they should have a means to connect with their birth mom. god there are moments, i saw no other alternative. but now i'm not sure...what if i could have implanted the embryos... i love my children sooo much. i know i could love all of them. i know people criticize the octomom. but, i can see how you can want to have ALL of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here: thanks guys. it's such a hard decision, but i look at my girls every day and know i made the right one. i'm 38 years old and trying to conceive more children is not possible for health reasons.

you are right...the kids could meet and never know...i never really thought about that before. i feel more a sense of loss that they will never be able to find me.... i don't think there are any records of me or the fertility clinic. that just breaks my heart. if they aren't happy, they should have a means to connect with their birth mom. god there are moments, i saw no other alternative. but now i'm not sure...what if i could have implanted the embryos... i love my children sooo much. i know i could love all of them. i know people criticize the octomom. but, i can see how you can want to have ALL of your children.

48 embryos? How is that possible? I have never ever heard of any IVF retrieval yielding 48 embryos. Was this from one procedure? Did they all make it to day 3 or 5?

[Anonymous]

I too am wondering how this works -
OP why did you (and your spouse whom I assume fertizled the eggs?) do it? - to help other couples fulfill their dreams of having a family? Was it for research/stem cell studies? Was there monetary compensation that seemed very compelling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here: thanks guys. it's such a hard decision, but i look at my girls every day and know i made the right one. i'm 38 years old and trying to conceive more children is not possible for health reasons.

you are right...the kids could meet and never know...i never really thought about that before. i feel more a sense of loss that they will never be able to find me.... i don't think there are any records of me or the fertility clinic. that just breaks my heart. if they aren't happy, they should have a means to connect with their birth mom. god there are moments, i saw no other alternative. but now i'm not sure...what if i could have implanted the embryos... i love my children sooo much. i know i could love all of them. i know people criticize the octomom. but, i can see how you can want to have ALL of your children.

You are making me cry! I can understand how much might be feeling. You know, my religion doesn't permit me to implant embryos from donor eggs, but if I could adopt some of those kids I would and would happily allow you to know them as I raised them. We always intended to adopt but only after having a couple biological children first.

[Anonymous]

Through your generosity, and the happiness that your children will bring, and the amazing talents which came from you and will go out into the world to be enjoyed by so many - you are truly, truly making the world a better place.

Thank you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I too am wondering how this works -
OP why did you (and your spouse whom I assume fertizled the eggs?) do it? - to help other couples fulfill their dreams of having a family? Was it for research/stem cell studies? Was there monetary compensation that seemed very compelling?

For this poster and previous one. OP here. I had an IVF cycle at the age of 30. I hyperstimulated, so produced many, many eggs. About 60 embryos made it (created by combining my eggs with my husband's sperm) . 55 or so made it to day 5. They were "pristine", a term drs sometimes use to indicate grade (e.g. symetrical, multiple cells etc). I could not finish the cycle since producing so many eggs put my life at risk. I was really ill. I froze 50 or 51... I tried to implant 2 of them, but I had a condition that "swiped" the embryos away (nothing wrong with the embryos, just my own body)... Then 5 IVFs later (I did fresh cycles after that only because the odds were against me due to my anatomy...and my best chances according to drs was a fresh cycle), I had my twins. I am so grateful. Not a day goes by that I do not tear up and thank the Lord for the gift he has given me. They are so amazing. One looks like her dad (who is Russian) and one looks like me (Indian). I kind of wonder how the 48 look . One has green eyes, the other brown. It's sooo cool. They don't look like sisters but they will be close (I hope .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too am wondering how this works -
OP why did you (and your spouse whom I assume fertizled the eggs?) do it? - to help other couples fulfill their dreams of having a family? Was it for research/stem cell studies? Was there monetary compensation that seemed very compelling?

For this poster and previous one. OP here. I had an IVF cycle at the age of 30. I hyperstimulated, so produced many, many eggs. About 60 embryos made it (created by combining my eggs with my husband's sperm) . 55 or so made it to day 5. They were "pristine", a term drs sometimes use to indicate grade (e.g. symetrical, multiple cells etc). I could not finish the cycle since producing so many eggs put my life at risk. I was really ill. I froze 50 or 51... I tried to implant 2 of them, but I had a condition that "swiped" the embryos away (nothing wrong with the embryos, just my own body)... Then 5 IVFs later (I did fresh cycles after that only because the odds were against me due to my anatomy...and my best chances according to drs was a fresh cycle), I had my twins. I am so grateful. Not a day goes by that I do not tear up and thank the Lord for the gift he has given me. They are so amazing. One looks like her dad (who is Russian) and one looks like me (Indian). I kind of wonder how the 48 look . One has green eyes, the other brown. It's sooo cool. They don't look like sisters but they will be close (I hope .

You did a wonderful thing. I too have a few embryos left over and am really struggling with what to do.

Do you mind if I ask you what clinic you went to? I am certainly no doctor, but doesn't sound like your treament was very good. Sorry if I am completely off base.

Did they suggest that you not fertilize all 60?