I gave up 48 embryos for adoption

[Anonymous]

OP - I am struggling with what to do - although we have only about 3 or 4 embryo's left. I am holding out that I can convince DH to try one more time - partly to get out of making the difficult decision of what to do next. You have likely given another person the greatest gift of their life.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. OP -- I admire greatly what you have done, both for the children who may grow as a result of your selflessness, and for their families. I remember a college biology professor who said in awe that "life finds a way," and you have enabled your little guys to have a chance at finding their way.

We, too, have a number (3) frozen embryos left and are trying to agree upon what to do. I am firmly of the view that it is my responsibility to ensure that these embryos have a chance, whether by using them ourselves or by donating, and your post and the responses remind me of this. I hadn't realized how strongly I felt about this until my husband and I had a disagreement about it. He feels very strange about the possibility of having children out there whom he doesn't know. Some kind of instinct kicked in and, in a way that is totally out of character, I started thinking of ways that I could ensure the embryos weren't destroyed. I envisioned everything from trying to trick the storage facility into implanting them in me without his consent, to forging his signature on donation documents, to making embryo use or donation a deal breaker in terms of our marriage. All of these thoughts were so out of character, and I later told him about them, knowing I would never, ever act on any of them. For me, they just made me realize that there is something fairly primal about protecting these embryos. We haven't decided what to do yet. Luckily, my husband understands that my protective instinct applies even moreso to our two toddlers, which he appreciates as a good thing.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who hyperstimulated and had a retrieval of 46 eggs. It's not the result of bad treatment, but rather your body's reaction to the drugs. There's no way of knowing how someone will respond to a drug protocal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who hyperstimulated and had a retrieval of 46 eggs. It's not the result of bad treatment, but rather your body's reaction to the drugs. There's no way of knowing how someone will respond to a drug protocal.

HI OP here, I just want to share my disagreement. I was 100 lbs at the time and I talked to my dr. about the meds and how sensitive my body was to them. They forgot to call me to reduce one of the meds (nurse's mistake). So in my case, it was the nurse's fault and I have to say, I was really lucky to have gotten through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. OP -- I admire greatly what you have done, both for the children who may grow as a result of your selflessness, and for their families. I remember a college biology professor who said in awe that "life finds a way," and you have enabled your little guys to have a chance at finding their way.

We, too, have a number (3) frozen embryos left and are trying to agree upon what to do. I am firmly of the view that it is my responsibility to ensure that these embryos have a chance, whether by using them ourselves or by donating, and your post and the responses remind me of this. I hadn't realized how strongly I felt about this until my husband and I had a disagreement about it. He feels very strange about the possibility of having children out there whom he doesn't know. Some kind of instinct kicked in and, in a way that is totally out of character, I started thinking of ways that I could ensure the embryos weren't destroyed. I envisioned everything from trying to trick the storage facility into implanting them in me without his consent, to forging his signature on donation documents, to making embryo use or donation a deal breaker in terms of our marriage. All of these thoughts were so out of character, and I later told him about them, knowing I would never, ever act on any of them. For me, they just made me realize that there is something fairly primal about protecting these embryos. We haven't decided what to do yet. Luckily, my husband understands that my protective instinct applies even moreso to our two toddlers, which he appreciates as a good thing.

OP here: thank you for sharing your thinking and decision making... I don't think there is a right answer. In our case, it wasn't something we intended to do when we started the IVF process. But when I held my twins in my arms, it was the only path I could see. But that doesn't mean it's the right path for everyone...good luck with your decision making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too am wondering how this works -
OP why did you (and your spouse whom I assume fertizled the eggs?) do it? - to help other couples fulfill their dreams of having a family? Was it for research/stem cell studies? Was there monetary compensation that seemed very compelling?

For this poster and previous one. OP here. I had an IVF cycle at the age of 30. I hyperstimulated, so produced many, many eggs. About 60 embryos made it (created by combining my eggs with my husband's sperm) . 55 or so made it to day 5. They were "pristine", a term drs sometimes use to indicate grade (e.g. symetrical, multiple cells etc). I could not finish the cycle since producing so many eggs put my life at risk. I was really ill. I froze 50 or 51... I tried to implant 2 of them, but I had a condition that "swiped" the embryos away (nothing wrong with the embryos, just my own body)... Then 5 IVFs later (I did fresh cycles after that only because the odds were against me due to my anatomy...and my best chances according to drs was a fresh cycle), I had my twins. I am so grateful. Not a day goes by that I do not tear up and thank the Lord for the gift he has given me. They are so amazing. One looks like her dad (who is Russian) and one looks like me (Indian). I kind of wonder how the 48 look . One has green eyes, the other brown. It's sooo cool. They don't look like sisters but they will be close (I hope .

You did a wonderful thing. I too have a few embryos left over and am really struggling with what to do.

Do you mind if I ask you what clinic you went to? I am certainly no doctor, but doesn't sound like your treament was very good. Sorry if I am completely off base.

Did they suggest that you not fertilize all 60?

OP here: at the time I was living in IL. So the Dr.'s not in your area. My advice, look at the CDC report. My doctor had very poor stats. Also, in my case, the dr. made an error. Her practice was error prone because she used written record keeping (vs. storing patient histories, drug protocols etc electronically). Thereby, the second part of my advice - make sure your doctor has electronic means of capturing your history and protocol. Also she was moving locations. IVF is hard enough - compound it with human error and lack of management systems and moving! - not a good combo.

I fertilized all 60 but 55 or so made it.