My friend is actually considering divorce over her DH's crazy sister

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who recently got married at age 36. They got engaged and married within 2 years of dating. I know they kind of rushed into things because my friend's age. The guy is younger. Her DH's sister is known as being crazy but is calling out my friend - saying my friend lives off her brother, rushed him into marriage because she is old, her brother is too good for her, etc. The DH is not sticking up for my friend and now my friend is actually threatning divorce because she thinks his entire family disrespects her.

I hate to say it but I don't think my friend will have as many options at age 37-38. I think she should ignore the crazy sister. Now my friend is mad at me for not taking her side. Not sure what more I can say. Probably just nothing.

[Anonymous]

BIG problem if DH doesn't stand with his DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIG problem if DH doesn't stand with his DW.

Yup. Problem is not the sister; problem is the husband. Better to be single than with a guy who doesn't stand by you.

[Anonymous]

If the hubby can't stand up and defend his wife, he doesnt deserve the privilege of being married to her.

[Anonymous]

"Engaged and married w/in 2 years" does not seem unrealistic to me (especially in mid-30's.) did you mean 2 months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIG problem if DH doesn't stand with his DW.

Yup. Problem is not the sister; problem is the husband. Better to be single than with a guy who doesn't stand by you.

OP here. Sorry I wasn't more clear. The sister is mentally unstable. I'm not sure what she has but she has been hospitalized previously. My friend is saying that she doesn't care if the sister is actually crazy, her words are from the heart and not the crazy talking.

[Anonymous]

Mental health issues can be devastating to the family members, and sometimes it is VERY hard to distinguish between what the patient can control and what he cannot.
I hope your friend comes to realize this.
It may look as if the husband and in-laws are not standing up for her, but the reality is that they know the sister best, and may understand that she will never change.
What the husband can do is limit contact with his sister and not relay any acrimony targeted at his wife. Perhaps they could go to couples therapy to work things out.

And I don't think getting married after 2 years is rushing into marriage!

[Anonymous]

Since when is two years rushing into things?

Your friend sounds difficult. Who cares what crazy sister says? Does she live with them or something?

My MIL is nuts and says all sorts of wacko things. Doesn't bother me because they are not true and everyone knows she's nuts.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the husband is not sticking up for your friend because she is threatening divorce. She is already on the older end of the spectrum of people that get married for the first time. If she values her marriage, she should not be so quick to throw around the D word. I suspect she has low self esteem and feels worthless already, and what the sister is saying and how the husband is acting just reinforces her insecurities. She needs to work on herself and stop worrying about the crazy sister.

[Anonymous]

I married DH in my twenties and we dated two years. I didn't think we rushed.

[Anonymous]

1. I don't think they rushed at all
2. The friend will still have plenty of good men to choose from if she leaves (and if she's a good catch herself)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIG problem if DH doesn't stand with his DW.

Have to agree with this, but honestly, I catch a whiff of immature drama coming off the OP or her friend (or better yet: both). Something about "angry for not sticking by..." First an issue with the sister, now an issue with her own friend? Plus, let's assume the sister (and/or whole family) are trash talking her as a gold digger; why is it she's drawn to a dude from a drama family who is under their spell? Or, the alternative (and fear of old-maid-hood @36 smacks of this): sister is right and she is a little gold-digger/hook a man....

Still...yes, if the family is toxic/nuts and trashing her, and husband isn't taking her side, dump his ass fast...kind of no matter how the rest of it games out (ie, friend can be nutty herself), she should DTMFA because that's going to be a life of out-law misery.

[Anonymous]

Two years is considered rushing into things? Wow, I must be getting old LOL

[Anonymous]

Something tells OP is maybe, probably, leaving out key details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something tells OP is maybe, probably, leaving out key details.

OP here. I don't think I am leaving out any key details. My gf has the tendency to date great guys and self destructs after 2-3 years. She is a childhood friend of mine. The difference is that now she is married. She has had about 5 serious bfs that ended badly. I actually think her husband is awesome and don't want my friend to end up single again. Her last serious relationship ended when she was about 30 years old. She was devastated that her bf did not marry her and then turned around and married a new girl within a year. She thought she would not find love again until she met her current husband. I don't think my friend is a golddigger but she is not career oriented. She can't wait to have a baby and be a stay at home mom. His family jokes that she is a stay at home mom with no kids. I think she thought it was funny at first but now she is feeling insulted about it.