If my husband cheated and I'm the bread winner...

[Anonymous]

Who gets the kids? I can't live knowing I may lose them in a custody battle. My husband has the more amenable schedule (gets off at 330pm) and makes half of my 100k. But he cheated . And he's not tuned in to things like camp or schools issues.

[Anonymous]

Lose them? It would be half the time with mom and half with dad. Money doesnt matter and schedule doesnt matter.

[Anonymous]

So their week would be split? How is that in their best interest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So their week would be split? How is that in their best interest?

They are able to live and spend time with two capable, mature, loving, parents. If he just agrees to only weekend, or you do, then that works too.

[Anonymous]

Generally the affair has no effect on determining custody. You would most likely split the kids 50/50 unless the two of you agree to another schedule. Many men ask for 50/50 and then take a lot less once everything simmers down.

You may also end up paying him some alimony in the short term and child support, too.

[Anonymous]

Try to reconcile. It can work.

[Anonymous]

If he's at fault for adultery he won't get alimony. If he has any self-respect he won't ask. But, he will likely get child support if he has sufficient space to house the children during his time with them.

[Anonymous]

The mother almost always gets primary custody unless she's unfit and even then it has to be proven. Not easy to do.

My ex DIL remarried, doesn't work, has primary custody, gets $900 a month child support. Son also pays all medical, dental, vision and for extracurricular activities such as gymnastic classes and piano lessons. He gets his child every other weekend and the weekend following any holiday.

[Anonymous]

OMG so much bad information. First of all, rules are different in Va. than in DC or MD. In DC and MD adultery makes basically no difference. In Va. its grounds for expediting the divorce, and I've heard it may help with custody but don't know. In DC -- the only one I have actual experience -- the law presumes joint physical and legal custody. You may have short-term spousal support but if there's a discrepancy in your income you'll be on the hook for child support until 21.

If you spend some time reading the actual laws you can learn a lot about how it works. But it is state specific. Anyon disagree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mother almost always gets primary custody unless she's unfit and even then it has to be proven. Not easy to do.

My ex DIL remarried, doesn't work, has primary custody, gets $900 a month child support. Son also pays all medical, dental, vision and for extracurricular activities such as gymnastic classes and piano lessons. He gets his child every other weekend and the weekend following any holiday.

That is so wrong. Mother doesnt always get primary custody. Nor does she deserve it. Modern times, people.

[Anonymous]

Yes, modern times. My DH went through a custody hearing for his daughter 25 years ago, and at that time it was a huge deal that he was awarded joint legal and physical custody. The norm was for the mother to be awarded primary custody.

These days, it's very different...thankfully! Now the parents generally share legal and physical custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mother almost always gets primary custody unless she's unfit and even then it has to be proven. Not easy to do.

My ex DIL remarried, doesn't work, has primary custody, gets $900 a month child support. Son also pays all medical, dental, vision and for extracurricular activities such as gymnastic classes and piano lessons. He gets his child every other weekend and the weekend following any holiday.

I'm a bit skeptical of this because I'm having a hard time imagining that even if your son paid all of those expenses you mentioned, his mother could put a roof over their heads and food on the table for a mere $10,800 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]The mother almost always gets primary custody unless she's unfit and even then it has to be proven. Not easy to do.[/b]

My ex DIL remarried, doesn't work, has primary custody, gets $900 a month child support. Son also pays all medical, dental, vision and for extracurricular activities such as gymnastic classes and piano lessons. He gets his child every other weekend and the weekend following any holiday.

Thus us not true anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mother almost always gets primary custody unless she's unfit and even then it has to be proven. Not easy to do.

My ex DIL remarried, doesn't work, has primary custody, gets $900 a month child support. Son also pays all medical, dental, vision and for extracurricular activities such as gymnastic classes and piano lessons. He gets his child every other weekend and the weekend following any holiday.

I'm a bit skeptical of this because I'm having a hard time imagining that even if your son paid all of those expenses you mentioned, his mother could put a roof over their heads and food on the table for a mere $10,800 a year.

His hateful bitch ass ex married money. GOLD DIGGER HIT THE JACKASS.

[Anonymous]

All my divorced friends have custody of their kids. Men don't want it, they just want to use it against you to scare you.